The Midlife Reframe

Blog

  • A New Journey

    Well.

    I have been struggling with perimenopause for quite some time, along with my other latest and greatest health issues.

    During one of my visits to the doctor, she had suggested HRT as another option for me. “It’s not what it was, there are safe options”.

    I’ve also been doing a lot of reading, especially Dr. Jen Gunter’s book (The Menopause Manifesto).

    I try to make decisions armed with as much information as possible, and ask questions.

    So, this week I went back to the doctor. My symptoms have progressively been getting worse, and I was not able to manage them effectively.

    We had a well informed discussion. She laid out the options, pros and cons of each, and made her recommendation.

    The advantages to early treatment were what sold me: alleviating my menopausal symptoms, improving vaginal health, bone health protection, potential cognitive benefits, mood stabilization, and improved sleep quality.

    Duration?? I can be on it for 10 years.

    I put my first Estalis patch on this morning. (also, thank you insurance).

    The package comes with a removable “here’s when to take your patch” checklist. So my days are Saturday and Tuesday.

    The patch is a small, clear circle, and needs to go on my abdomen or buttocks. I have opted for my abdomen.

    I have been told that I should expect to see changes within 2 weeks to a month.

    I’m opting to document this, as I am all about sharing, lol.

    As a woman at this stage in life, sharing this experience is important. We are given alllll the information for puberty, but have been pushed aside when it comes to this significant shift later in life.

    So, I am planning to kick into weekly posts.

    Let’s go girls.

  • The State of Things

    I’ve been absent.

    The world has been chaotic.

    I’m really all over the place right now, and I am absolutely exhausted.

    Navigating all of this world political landscape, while in late perimenopause, is challenging to say the least.

    I’m sad, angry, frightened, frustrated, and the list goes on.

    I’m not even American, yet the daily ramblings and decisions of a deranged orange blob is affecting me greatly.

    What lies ahead for the world in these next four years? As a Canadian, with said orange blob blathering on incessantly about making Canada the “51st State”, it is becoming harder to contain emotions.

    Are we any better? We have our transgressions, our shaded history. What makes us different?

    I would like to think that we would not go that route in our next election, but having seen what has happened since 2020 with Covid and all that followed, I can’t be sure.

    I can say this: I will speak up and out when I can. I will defend what I can. I will fight if I need to.

    For those who are suffering because of the recent events, I see you.

    I will do what I can, no matter how small.

  • This Phase of Life is Stupid

    See that smile?

    I’m not smiling now. I’m awake and it’s 1:55 am.

    I went to sleep at 10:00 pm.

    Been awake for an hour. I am so tired, but I can’t sleep.

    Even as I am typing this, I am yawning.

    I remember being told 8 gazillion things about the upcoming changes in my life when I was in health class in elementary school.

    No one prepares you for the changes that come later in life.

    And your options are limited.

    I am starting to read The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter, because I need some answers/guidance/relief.

    I’ve been reading Menopause/Perimenopause posts on Reddit.

    I’m commiserating with other women, and you know what?

    We’re all tired.

    This phase of life IS stupid.

    There needs to be more research…more doctors who do not say “Oh well, that’s the stage of life you’re in”.

    Because if men had to go through this, you bet the uproar would produce results.

    But instead, us “hormonal” women will continue to suffer…out loud…

    Screaming into the void.

  • Diverticulitis, Liquid Diet, and I Want a Cheeseburger

    Well, it has been an interesting week.

    A little background:

    About 20 years ago, I was diagnosed with IBS. After meds and a diet change, I was able to control flare ups.

    I then went into remission for years.

    But….

    The past few weeks I have some instances of issues, which I attributed to the return of IBS. I went to the doctor and she prescribed some antispasmodics and sent me off for bloodwork.

    So last Saturday, I went for said bloodwork. Felt a little off. By the evening I started to have intense cramping and feeling unwell overall.

    Took the antispasmodics…nothing.

    I marched myself up to bed, turned in my heating pad and relaxed until bed.

    Sunday, no better, and had switched to a bland diet.

    Woke up Monday, and thought I was feeling better, but I started back with the cramping and nausea.

    Went to the ER Monday afternoon, and they were over capacity. I had a five minute assessment. The doctor told me to come back in the morning.

    Was told to take Tylenol while I was there Monday. It didn’t even take the edge off.

    So, Monday morning my mother picked me up way before daylight. We drove out and I was fourth in line.

    After some tests, and a doctor’s physical assessment, I was diagnosed with diverticulitis.

    I was given a prescription for Amoxiclav and Naproxen, and also sent home with Tylenol 3, was advised on a diet, and told to have a colonoscopy in 3 months.

    I’m not really hopeful on the colonoscopy in 3 months, because our healthcare system is awful and slow and understaffed.

    Got the meds, went home, and went horizontal. The fatigue was unreal.

    So, taking mega antibiotics on a liquid only diet is NOT good on the stomach. It elevated the nausea.

    Long story getting longer, I was horizontal until about Thursday.

    I was able to get up and eat soft foods. That definitely made a difference when it came to the antibiotics.

    My strength started to come back.

    I started feeling human on Friday.

    Starting to slowly introduce food back into my diet.

    I really really really really want a cheeseburger.

    Knowing that this could possibly happen again, not a fan.

    Adjusting my diet again, and reading up on this godforsaken condition.

    This where I’m at.

    I’m hoping this is it for the weirdness that is 2024.

    Stay tuned…I’ll keep posting any other weird events!

  • What To Do

    It has been quite some time since I have sat down and had the urge to write.

    So many changes.

    Some health issues resolved while others seem to be making a new appearance.

    I have been experiencing physical issues that I am going to see my family physician about: fatigue, headaches, itchy skin (and inner ears), and exacerbation of my psoriasis, amongst other things.

    I’m happy to say that I am feeling good on just my antidepressant. Coming off of Abilify was something I wasn’t sure I would be able to do, but I have been successful.

    I turned 52 recently, and had my own revelations of my self worth, and what I willing to tolerate. This is going to come as a surprise to some, but I am no longer willing to sacrifice pieces of myself to make others whole.

    Alllllll of this doesn’t help with the fatigue, the lethargy.

    One of the things I really need to do, is get back to walking. My body is no longer in a state to run. The multiple injuries, body changes, the feeling of running through molasses, and the general loss of joy while doing so made me sit down and reevaluate how I would move forward with physical activity. I loved my 12 years of running, met some absolutely amazing people,and cherish those friendships.

    I am hoping during my visit with my physician, we can figure out if I am lacking something (iron, magnesium, Vitamin D, etc.) so I can get back to doing things that I love.

    I know I am at “that age”, and that I am going through changes. It’s also something I am currently struggling with.

    Navigating all this is challenging.

    Standing up for myself is scary, and long overdue.

    What does the road ahead look like?

    Not sure, but willing to face whatever comes, because I have an amazing support system.

    As I start coming back into my own, be sure that I will be keeping up with my writing.

    Stay tuned as I move forward on this new path!

  • Check In: First Week on Lower Antipsychotic Dose

    It’s been a full week.

    Things I have noticed:

    – a little fatigued

    – sometimes a little irritable

    – still leg bouncing

    – working through an anxiety spike is challenging

    I can say that’s been all so far. It’s really not that bad all things considered. I think the leg bouncing is more of a comfort mechanism more than anything, so that’s not such a big deal.

    Had a little moment yesterday where I worked my way through an anxiety spike. I did it without chewing the skin around my fingernails, so that was a win for sure.

    I’m letting myself feel the feelings, and talking my way through them, instead of trying to suppress everything like I used to do. Thankful for the tips therapy has provided in that regard.

    This will be my last week on the lower dose, then I will be completely off Abilify. I will be on vacation for the end of the med, which is good, in case things go a little wonky.

    Will keep you all in the loop once I totally come off and let you know how I am doing.

    Fingers crossed the symptoms stay as they have been!

    Until next time.

  • Bye Bye AntiPsychotic

    It’s been almost a week of me weaning off my antipsychotic.

    This isn’t a decision that was made lightly. There were various discussions with my team.

    Having therapy every two weeks has made a big difference in my anxiety levels, and I am chewing the skin around my fingernails less.

    Being fortunate enough to have therapy as often as I do was one of the biggest factors in this decision.

    Learning new coping skills has been a great help.

    I’m still bouncing my leg, but I think that may also be a habit now more than anything. My leg bouncers will get it. It’s almost comforting at times.

    I have one more week of weaning and then I am off completely.

    Am I worried?

    A little.

    But I know I have the supports in place, and if necessary I can go back on the lower dose.

    So, let’s hope I make out okay on this little journey.

    Stay tuned for an update after I am fully done!

  • Newfoundland Adventures

    It has been a week since my visit to Newfoundland.

    It is a beautiful province, and if you’ve never been I highly recommend.

    I spent my time on the Avalon Peninsula and did some hiking.

    In St. John’s, there is Pippy Park, which I would compare to Victoria Park in Truro, Nova Scotia (no big waterfalls though). Lots of hills and stairs to work muscles you totally forgot you had, lol.

    It was a beautiful day for hiking!

    The second hiking adventure was a portion of the East Coast Trail, and included the LaManche Suspension Bridge. Hiked until we got to a spot where I was nervous (trail width was questionable and the drop to the ocean was a little too steep) so a turn around to head back was necessary, haha. Might chance it the next time!

    Quite an appetite was worked up, so a stop at Keith’s Diner on the way back to town was required for some refuelling.

    Chicken Wings and Fries with Dressing and Gravy

    The last nice day was a hike around a lake in Torbay. Got a little muddy on that one, lol.

    All in all it was a fantastic trip, and I am looking forward to another visit!

  • Growth

    I’ve been on a journey.

    Through therapy I have found that I am growing and learning.

    With my new relationship I am in a safe space, and it has allowed me to open up and not be afraid of expressing myself.

    This doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days anymore, because I still have them.

    I’m getting better at explaining how I feel on those days, and I am coping better.

    I’ve started reading again, and I am opening up myself to learning new things, both at work and home.

    Am I scared? Yep.

    Scared of feeling okay, scared of things going south, and scared of getting hurt. But that’s okay. It’s normal to be feeling these things.

    I’m no longer shoving those feelings down to “deal with later”. I’m learning to be uncomfortable to get to being comfortable.

    It’s a day by day thing, and it’s not going to be easy.

    But I’m ready.

  • I’m Hanging Up My Racing Shoes

    This has been a decision I’ve been struggling with for some time now.

    I’ve had some amazing experiences racing (hello Team Myles!!) and have accumulated some hardware that hangs in my front hall.

    I’m not stopping running, just the racing.

    I started out running for the pure fun in 2011, and as it sits right now, the whole racing aspect has turned into a chore. I want to run for the fun of it again.

    I’ve been struggling with perimenopause and my runs have sometimes been a ride on the struggle bus. Trying to adapt to this new experience has been rough.

    My brain has also been struggling with the whole race idea and the pressure I put in myself can be tremendous. I have even deleted my Strava account so I don’t stress out about where and when I run.

    It’s time to give myself a break and run for the fun of it again. To find the joy in movement.

    I’ll probably volunteer at races, just to see the joy of others finishing their races will be enough to fill my bucket.

    So if you see me out and about, say hey!

    I’ll be cruising the trails around my area and out at the BLT.