The Midlife Reframe

Category: single mom

  • Update from the Land of Us

    Our Foggy Walk This Morning

    To say it’s been an easy few weeks would not be accurate.  With work and home, and the time leading into the holidays, it’s been freaking exhausting.  Not the physical type of exhaustion either, lol.

    TeenThing is my mental illness mirror…as in she is more anxiety than depression.  I’m pretty sure this means we balance each other out.  It’s a good thing we both have a sense of humour, because I am pretty sure that has been a major player in how we have been getting through the initial medication stage.  For example:  I had to wake her up early this morning, so I nudged her awake and danced in her room until she woke up.  Luckily she thinks I’m funny 😉

    Today was our doctor visit, and she increased TeenThing’s med dosage.  We should be able to see a difference in her anxiety within the next week or two.  She is doing much better and I am so happy she asked for help when she did.  Our doctor was very optimistic about her progress so far and for her treatment going forward.  It has definitely put my mind at ease.  She goes back in a month for another check in and then if all is well we should be good to go to move forward in her treatment.

    For now, we are now focusing on getting her sorted with work and getting through the busy holiday season.

    That being said, keep this in mind when you are frustrated and shopping/movie-ing/eating out over the next month:  There are a lot of kids out there working in the stores/theatres/eating establishments.  They don’t make the rules, or the prices, or the return/exchange policies.  They are just doing what they have been trained to do.  They are not trying to ruin your day.  Please don’t be jerks.

    I have been “unpacking” my compartmentalized boxes and working on me bit by bit. Something that is irritating and needs to stop is me chewing on the sides of my fingernails.  It’s gross I know, but that is my illness manifesting itself as a habit and I have to get a hold on it.

    In terms of physical fitness me:  I have a new glute program to follow and will be back to some yoga classes this week at the gym.  Any running I will be doing will be on the track, as I have some stretching and exercises to do prior to lacing up.  I am also going to get back on track with my weights, as that has been haphazard at best.  All of this will determine my race status going into 2019.

    I must say, opening up my 2018 to regaining my strength and mental clarity has given me more flexibility with my schedule and I am really looking forward to it.

    So, onward and upward!  It’s almost time to get Christmas-y 🙂

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Musings From a Mentally Ill Mother

    So.

    It is one week past TeenThing’s diagnosis.

    Into week 2 on her meds.

    So far nothing scary in the land of side effects.

    We are keeping our fingers crossed that it stays this way.

    I have been taking time to shuffle through the boxes I have compartmentalized, because let’s face it, if I don’t, this whole household will be scattered.

    A few things have gone on since our doctor’s visit this week.  One of them being some not so supportive opinions to TeenThing being on meds.

    Let’s be clear:

    • She will be 19 in a few days (and by the time most folks read this post).
    • She is a grown human and fully capable of saying no to something she doesn’t want.
    • This isn’t something we just “discovered” and said “Hey doc, how about some dope?” (which, by the way, is not given out like candy at Halloween), we have been on this journey for at least a couple of years now.  When we got rid of the birth control (she had some female issues) 95% of the her symptoms were still there.  FOR MONTHS.

    If she had a “regular” disease like cancer, would she be chastised for having chemotherapy? NO.

    Mental illness is AN ILLNESS. Depression and anxiety are not something you just GET OVER.  Treatment is required when you have tried to fix it yourself and can’t do it alone.  There is no shame in asking for help and receiving it.  It really is about time people start thinking this way.  I know EVERYONE is saying this now, but it is true, AND NOT HAPPENING.

    I am used to the stigma surrounding mental illness.  It’s sad that I am used to it.

    BUT….the other thing that has happened is this:

    On the way home tonight I made a decision.

    Not only will my place be a safe haven of blanket forts for both myself and TeenThing, it will be an amazing world where we can both talk about how weird and awesome we are.

    No judgement.

    Full on support for sharing all the dark and light times.

    A place where when I say “OH MY GOD GET AWAY FROM ME.” and no one bats an eye or gets offended because I need my space.

    A place where TeenThing can camp out in her room all day and read, and watch YouTube, and recharge her batteries and not feel like she is isolating herself from the world, because this is just a small part of her world.

    I cannot tell you how comforting that little epiphany was.

    I was afraid I was going to go into a tailspin myself over the past little while.  But I didn’t.  All good on the Mama front for now.

    I think we’ll be okay.

    If anything, we aren’t going to be boring 😉

     

     

     

  • Where Things Sit

    A very happy me (a sick me, lol) after a wonderful 5k at the Valley Harvest Marathon Weekend in Wolfville.

    As I sit here and type this post, it is Thanksgiving Monday in Canada.

    We had a great turkey feast yesterday, after a very early morning traveling so I could run a 5k at the 25th Anniversary of the Valley Harvest Marathon.

    I have a lingering head cold, and was thankful I felt well enough to run this beautiful course.

    I have one more run this season, the Food Run to support Feed Nova Scotia next weekend here in my neighbourhood.

    After having a great run yesterday in Wolfville, part of me started to question my decision to take a break from racing next year (I say this as I think…”well, maybe a few 5ks wouldn’t be so bad”, or “well, maybe some trail running would be better for me”, lol).  As runners we push ourselves to our physical and mental limits.  We question why we do this to ourselves as we run, but then bask in the afterglow.

    Running has always been cathartic for me.  I see things differently after a run.  It gives me a fresh perspective on things.  It connects me to my inner peace.

    The reality of the situation is this:  my body is out of balance.  My weak muscles are the ones that need to be strong, and my strong muscles are making up for the weak.  This is why I need to dial back and work on the imbalances.

    Mentally I need the break from the constant pressure I put myself under.  No one is harder on me, than me.  Trust me on that.

    The running community is a great source of support for me.  I can draw strength and ask for advice.  They do not judge.  They seek to understand and offer advice. I am grateful for that.  They see my back and forth as a struggle to do what’s right for me and my need to lace up and head out.

    I am truly looking forward to working on myself, taking the time to figure out my body at 45 years old, and find out what it is truly capable of.

    So, you’ll still see me out on the road, but you’ll also see me in the gym.  It’s part of the mind/body relationship I’ve ignored for too long.

    This is where things sit, and I’m really okay with it 🙂

    Hoping you’ll continue to come along with me to see where my running will take me down this fork in the road.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Scotland Adventure Part 4: Western Highlands

    Oh, the Highlands of Scotland.

    Just a taste of what we were about to enter.

    To really see Scotland we would have to have spent at least a month.  To see just a small part of the Highlands in the time that we did has a tease really.

    It just makes us want to go back for more!

    We did a day tour with Rabbie’s to explore the Western Highlands.  Our tour guide was Fran. She was AWESOME.

    We began our trip from Princes Street in Edinburgh and did the round of introductions on the bus.  Fran talked about the lowlands and highlands and spoke of the three bridges, the Kelpies, and what our trip would entail for the day.  The weather wasn’t super, but TeenThing and I were pretty pumped, so weather be damned!!

    Our entrance into the Highlands started once we entered Callander, the Gateway to the Highlands.

    Our first stop was at Loch Lubnaig (pronounced Loch Awe).

    What a beautiful start to the Highlands.

    You could camp along here. There was a nice little spot to grab a snack.

    It was raining right before we got off the bus.  But once we got out to explore it started to clear up!

    We gathered our snacks and hopped back on the bus.  If this was just the beginning we couldn’t wait to see what was in store for us 🙂

    That also meant: Castles!!

    Our first Castle was Doune Castle.  We did the audio tour here.  You could listen to audio specifically for Monty Python (Terry Jones) and Outlander (Sam Heughan).  It was super fun.  We had a blast here.

    I still wonder how they maneuvered those turrets.  TIGHT FIT!

    Doune Castle: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Castle Leoch (Outlander) and Winterfell (Game of Thrones)

    All of the delicate furniture had thistles on them to deter people from sitting.

    Our next stop was further up in the Highlands at Kilchurn Castle, built in the mid-1400s (Clan Campbell).  I’ll show you the pictures and THEN tell the story, lol.

    Kilchurn from afar.
    Aaaaaaand a little closer.
    And there it is 🙂
    Now for the story.

    So, as you can tell from the first pic, this is quite a distance from the road.  We all hopped off the bus and started making our way through the “field”.

    It was a bog.

    Once another passenger and I sunk a little bit (mid calf), everyone else pulled back.

    NOT ME.  This was the first castle built by the Campbell Clan.  My Nanny was a Campbell.  I WAS GETTING THIS PICTURE DAMMIT.

    So, off through the bog I ran.  Got down to the Loch and ran into a lovely man fishing on the shore.  I took my pictures, cleaned myself up a bit in the loch, turned around and went back into the bog, this time keeping to the other side which was more water than mud.

    I got to the road and Fran was like “Yes!!! I knew you were going to keep going!”

    Rock. Star.

    Our next stop was Inveraray.  What a beautiful little spot.  There was also another castle.

    Inveraray Castle (Clan Campbell since the 18th century).

    If you watch Downton Abbey, this was the Castle they visited in Christmas 2012 episode.  We didn’t go into this Castle, instead choosing to go into Inveraray and have a bite to eat at Brambles 🙂

    A gorgeous little spot.
    Loch Fyne

    Some Scottish beer 🙂
    This burger was AMAZING!

    With our bellies full and treats bought at the little candy store, we were ready to get moving!

    We drove through some amazing scenery.  My GoPro died early (wah) so I was unable to get some good video of the area.

    One of the most amazing spots of the day was the Rest and Be Thankful Pass.

    I can’t even explain how beautiful this place was.
    Cheeeeeeeese!
    So many teeny tiny cars.

    We were able to take some time here and really soak up the atmosphere.

    Our next stop:   Loch Lomond.

    O ye’ll tak’ the high road, and I’ll tak’ the low road,
    And I’ll be in Scotland a’fore ye,
    But me and my true love will never meet again,
    On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

    So beautiful.  I could have sat here forever.

    But Fran wouldn’t leave without us, lol.

    It was time to load up and head back.  All the sads 😦

    We were very lucky to stop and see Stirling Castle, some hairy coos and the Kelpies on our way back to Edinburgh.

    Stirling Castle
    Highland Cows (Hairy Coos)

    The Kelpies

    This was our FAVOURITE road trip.

    The beauty of the Highlands is something to see.

    I want to go back and just experience the Highlands next time!

    It was fairly late when we arrive back into Edinburgh.  There was a concert at the National Gallery, so we checked that out before grabbing a bite and getting back to our rental.

    Evening Concert

    Come back next week for Walking Tours of Edinburgh and our trip to the Edinburgh Zoo!

    @crazymamaruns

  • Scotland Adventure Part 3 (#2): When TeenThing Got Sick

    TeenThing was a trooper. Even with the head cold.

    Usually it’s me.  I either get the head cold at the end of a trip, or right when I get back (Spoiler:  I got sick too, lol).

    It was TeenThing’s turn this time.  The first day she really started feeling it was a gorgeous sunny day.  I really didn’t want to stay inside all day, so after popping down to the pharmacy and gathering an arsenal of cold meds, I hoofed it back to the house and suggested a walk along the Water of Leith Walkway.

    Once she was sufficiently medicated and fed, we began our journey.  It was a 10 minute walk to the spot where we could hop on, so enough time for us to see if TeenThing was really up for the trek.

    She was 🙂

    What a hidden gem!  This is a definite must do if you ever get to Edinburgh.  We walked to Dean Village and back, took us about 2 hours.

    Murrayfield Stadium. No games while we were there, booo.

    Here we go!
    “Mom, take a picture of me!”

    Dean Village

    There she goes.
    Another serious “trip selfie”.

    So pretty

    Could have walked for hours. So beautiful.

    We could have walked further, but we didn’t pack snacks (oooops).

    The next day was cloudy and cool.  TeenThing was feeling a little rough, but she agreed to a trip into town to check out the National Gallery.

    Rooms and rooms of art.  So many serious people in there sitting and staring at all of the paintings and sculptures.

    We wandered and took in all of the art.  Some of the paintings were HUGE.  It was difficult getting photos.

    The Campbell Sisters

    So serious in here….
    Man with Jawbone (this is the title, seriously)
    Cain and Abel

    Creepy Chair
    Creepy Monk Statues
    More subtle “trip selfie”, lol.

    I was glad I didn’t have our time in Scotland fully planned, as it was good to have some downtime for TeenThing to get better.  It was nice to have a couple of low key days.

    After we had spent our time exploring the Gallery, we took the tram back to the house where we chilled for the rest of the day.

    By the time our next adventure rolled around, TeenThing was feeling better 🙂

    Coming up:  Western Highlands!

    @crazymamaruns

  • Scotland Adventure Part 3: OUTLANDER!

    Lallybroch (Midhope Castle)

    I am an Outlander fan.

    Since we were in Scotland, I could not pass up a tour to some of the Outlander locations!!

    TeenThing and I hauled butt out of bed early one morning and got to the Royal Mile to take The Outlander Palaces, & Jacobites Experience Tour with Timberbush Tours.

    This was a nice small group tour with like minded Outlander fans.  It made for a really great day!

    We started our tour with the drive to Midhope Castle.  This property has ties to Hopetoun House, which you will see later in this post.

    Midhope was the setting for Lallybroch.  It is very run down, which is unfortunate as it is hauntingly beautiful walking up the dirt road.  We took a few pictures here (and yay for fun travel mates who take pics for you!).

    Waiting for Jamie 😉
    At the entrance. Let us in Jenny!

    The small area where we parked was also used in filming as the spot where Claire first met Captain Randall, right before she was taken away by the Scots.

    After we all scampered around in the woods, it was time to get in the bus and head to Blackness Castle, the setting for Fort William.

    Blackness Castle – The “Ship That Never Sailed”

     

    The scene of Captain Randall’s flogging of Jamie.

     

    Inside – Amazing.

     

    Walking around the Castle.

     

    No fun was had at this location.

    After a snack grab, it was time to head to Linlithgow Palace, the setting for Wentworth Prison!

    Linlithgow Palace was also the birthplace of Mary Queen of Scots.  It is a gorgeous castle.  We checked out the spots used for the prison scenes and then took a guided tour.

    Yep, that is prison like.

     

    The Kirk. There was a funeral being held that day, so we were unable to go inside.

    You can see where the roof and floors were.
    TeenThing gets the photo cred here.

    The wine cellar was built with grave stones. This one was accidentally left facing out. Ooops!

     

    The Loch.

     

    Mary Queen of Scots

    I could have stayed here for hours.  The castle is amazing.

    Our next stop, Callendar House.  The location was used as the Duke of Sandringham’s kitchen in Season Two.  It has also hosted Bonnie Prince Charlie and Mary Queen of Scots.

    This was a really neat stop. This room was our only area to tour. We had a great time in here though!

     

    Gorgeous from the outside!

    We had a few minutes here to enjoy the grounds.  It was super pretty here.

    Our next stop – Culross.  Used many times in Outlander.  The Mercat Cross area was used as Cranesmuir, while the Palace had many rooms used in the series as well.  The garden in back was used as Claire’s herb garden at Leoch.  (Side Note:  TeenThing was THRILLED to learn that Culross was also used as a location while filming Captain America, lol.)

    A lot of the houses were painted grey or white during filming. This is such a cute little village.

    A dram in Geillis’ parlour anyone?

     

    Claire’s Herb Garden

    Culross Palace

    We had lunch in Culross and ate at a super cute spot called Biscuit Cafe.  We had awesome sandwiches and some hot bevvies 🙂

    Loved this little spot!
    Yum!
    This sandwich – the bombdotcom.

    After lunch we hopped on the bus to head to Hopetoun House.  This location was used as the home of the Duke of Sandringham. Two rooms upstairs were used as Claire’s rooms in France, and they also used a small area to the side to film where Claire and Mary were attacked.

    But first……standing stones!!!

    No touchy, lol.

    Hopetoun House is AMAZING.  It is Scotland’s largest home.  It was host to a wedding while we were there.  The staff here are wonderful.

    This is the back of Hopetoun, where they filmed Jamie’s arrival to see the Duke. The duel was also filmed in the back yard as well.

     

    The “back yard”.

     

    Claire’s room in France.

    Where Claire sat with the Duke asking for Jamie’s pardon.

    I walked forever to get this shot, lol.

     

    Part of the side of the estate where other filming was done (attack on Claire and Mary)

    No serious selfies here.

     

    You can see the “Three Bridges” from here.

    We had lots of time here to look around and take everything in.  The house is absolutely beautiful.  The perfect spot to end our Outlander experience.

    After all this excitement, we piled into the bus and head back into Edinburgh to the Royal Mile.  We grabbed food, went back to our humble abode and crashed.

    This post alone could have been multiple mini posts.  I didn’t even put in a third of the photos, lol.  It was a great day and the 9.5 hours flew by!

    Even though TeenThing hasn’t watched Outlander, she loved every location we visited (with Culross becoming her number one favourite, because Captain America, lol).

    Unfortunately, I never did run into Jamie Fraser.

    Or did I??  😉

    It was as close as I could get, lol.

    Come back next weekend.  The Water of Leith and the Art Gallery are up next!

    @crazymamaruns

  • Scotland Adventure Part 2: Edinburgh Castle, Grassmarket, Harry Potter, and Greyfriars Bobby

    Entrance to Edinburgh Castle

    Our next couple of trips into town took us to quite a few spots.

    First stop:  Edinburgh Castle

    I think I took a million pictures here.  This castle could have it’s own blog post!  Things we could not take pictures of:  The Crown Jewels and the Stone of Destiny.  I did take photos of some of the areas leading up to the room.  We had to go up a winding staircase to get up to the Honours of Scotland.  Thankfully not ALL the way up, lol.

    There is so much to see at the Castle.  You need at least 2 hours here, if not more, to really see everything.  Also, going between 10-2 means a BUCKET LOAD of people, so if you want to feel like you need a little more space, head in a little later.

    There is even a dog cemetery.

    There is a prison exhibit, war/regimental museums and St Margaret’s Chapel, which was built in 1130.  The views from the Castle are well worth some extra time to take in.

    Grassmarket, Harry Potter and Greyfriars Bobby

    Some neat little pubs along this stretch
    Grassmarket. This area has a Saturday Market filled with vendors.
    Parts of Grassmarket (and The Royal Mile) are pedestrian only.

    We ventured down to Grassmarket through some little side streets and walked around for a bit.  This area is full of food and stories.

    We ate at The Last Drop.  A fitting name for a pub sitting across from where public hangings used to take place 😉  There was good food here (TeenThing had mac and cheese and I had haggis sausages and mash), a great drink selection,  and the staff were very nice.

    Now, Harry Potter.

    Potter fans know that JK Rowling started writing Harry Potter in Edinburgh.  Once you are here and travel along the streets, you see the magic around you.  The history, the architecture, and the atmosphere is definitely inspiring.  There are a couple of streets that claim to be the inspiration for Diagon Alley.  With so many small winding side streets, it would be easy to get inspiration from any of them!

    You can see the inspiration for Harry Potter everywhere.
    Supply List
    Victoria Street lays the claim to Diagon Alley 😉

    A little HaHa to break up the day 🙂

    The Elephant House Cafe is an extremely busy spot, as you can well imagine (JK Rowling wrote two books at this location), and is very close to Greyfriars Kirkyard.  The Kirkyard is where the grave for Tom Riddle is located, and behind the Kirkyard is George Heriot’s School, the inspiration for Hogwarts.

    This Cafe is always packed. You can sign your name on the bathroom wall here, along with a bazillion other Harry fans.
    Tom Riddle’s Grave
    There is NO grass left here, lol.  Also, the Kirkyard staff will lead you down to this area if need be.

    Greyfriars Bobby

    This was one of my favourite stories of Edinburgh.  Bobby was a partner for his human John Gray, who was a night watchman for the Edinburgh Police but died of tuberculosis.  Bobby was a constant visitor to his master’s grave.   He has his own stone in the Greyfriars Kirkyard where visitors leave him sticks.

    And yes, we did rub his nose for luck 😉

    Using our own two feet to explore the city was amazing, and I am glad we did because you really get to see all of the small nooks and crannies of the city.

    Side Note:  We had great experiences on all of our walking tours.  You’ll get to see some of the sights on one of the tours in a later post 🙂

    Next week:  Outlander!

    (p.s. If you are not a fan of the show, feel free to just come back for the pictures, the set locations we got to visit were amazing!)

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • It’s My “Anniversary”!!! Sort of……

     

    So here we are.

    June.

    My mental illness and I have our official 6th year anniversary together.

    I choose to remember my descent down the rabbit hole for many reasons.  One being:  I have learned so much.  Knowing (finally) what/why/how my brain works has been monumental in so many ways.

    I know when I shut down, and why (even though I may not be able to control when this happens).

    I know my limits.

    I know when to say no.

    I value my life more now than I did 6 years ago.

    It took me a while to feel “comfortable” saying “I have Depression/Anxiety”.  You need to be in that space to put it out there.  I have no problem sharing my experiences.   Some people are not okay with sharing their experience, and that is their choice.  I respect everyone’s choice, because everyone experiences this illness differently.  I also know that listening to others with mental illness is more important than saying “Well you should…..”.  Because that does not help.  At all.  Shut down.

    Every person experiences this illness differently.  Copes with it differently.  Thinks (or overthinks) about it differently.

    The thing is, those of us that suffer, we are all in it together and knowing that we can share our feelings, even if it just with each other is in itself a great comfort.

    This year, my “anniversary” will be different than in years past.

    My daughter (TeenThing) graduates this month.  Another shift in my time/space continuum.  Our dynamic will change again.  I have been mulling this over in my  head, probably more than I should, and even though  I am celebrating this, at the same time it’s extremely bittersweet. I remember her first day of school vividly.

    I have hopefully raised her right, lol 😉  She’s strong and stubborn like her Mama, so I think she’ll be okay.  She will be taking a year off to work before she solidifies her plans for the future.

    I am very glad I started planning the Grad Trip to Scotland with her in Grade 11.  It is giving us something to look forward to after all the chaos of this year 🙂

    So, “Happy Anniversary” to Me!

    I look forward to learning more about myself as things change over the next year or so.

    One thing that won’t change:  Running 😉

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Races, Brain Melts, and the Return of the FitBit

     

    Began 2017 on the right foot. Let's hope I don't injure anything, lol.
    Began 2017 on the right foot. Let’s hope I don’t injure anything, lol.

    Okay,

    So over the holidays I decided that I seriously needed to keep moving this year.  Not just for my physical health, but for my mental health.  I sat and muddled about a fall half marathon.  I wanted something close to home (because I am without my own vehicle, and would need to acquire one for long distance travel) and fun.

    I ended up choosing the Half at Maritime Race Weekend.

    Here is the elevation for MRW Half :)
    Here is the elevation for MRW Half 🙂

    I did the Tartan Twosome there last year (5ks) and really enjoyed the atmosphere and all the goodies offered post race.  Also, the views in Eastern Passage are amazing!

    Also, I purchased a Believe Journal over the holidays.  SUPER EXCITED.

    Plan Amy, plan.
    Plan Amy, plan.

    I am ramping up to start training for the BlueNose Half Marathon shortly and have been writing in my journal daily.  I should be receiving my plan soon and am looking forward to getting back on the training train 😉

    You said Brain Melts?

    Oh yes, brain melts.

    Once I had registered and started to plan out my races, I had a brain melt.

    Then panic.

    What had I done?!?!?

    I am usually a one big race and then all the smaller distances to keep me moving.

    I did not get the kms in that I wanted my first week and by the weekend, it caught up with me:  work, life, running, KERSMASH.

    I had an anxiety moment.  A brain melting, bugs crawling on my skin, flight (not fight), moment.

    I’m good now, but it was yuck.

    And now, let’s talk about the FitBit.

    I Thought You Divorced Your FitBit?

    I did.

    We recently made up, for now.  I put my step goal down to 8,000 and joined a challenge.

    Results from first full week:  I can’t do challenges.  It still ramps up my brain and makes me super anxious.

    But I decided to still wear it.  If anything I can see my sleep patterns and make sure I do get up and move around (she says as she sits and types, lol).

    It gives me some motivation to be active, and see lovely sights such as this on my lunch hour:

    Halifax Waterfront
    Halifax Waterfront

    That is what’s been happening here in the land of Amy so far in 2017.  Come back around soon, as we get ready to document the Odyssey that is my life and how I am going to manage 2 Half Marathons and my brain!

    @crazymamaruns

  • Looking Back….Looking Ahead

    Christmas at Mom and Dad's
    Christmas at Mom and Dad’s

    So here we are.

    2016 is slowly coming to a close.

    2017 is on the doorstep, patiently waiting.

    I decided a year or so ago that I would not do resolutions.  It’s just not me.  It sets me up to self sabotage my well thought out plans.

    This month has been hard mentally.  Deciding what to hold onto and what to let go of was a big thing.  Like taking out my mental garbage.  It’s surprising how much we can hold onto.  Some of it drags us down and some lifts us up.  This week I have been trying to take out my mental garbage.  That has not been an easy task.  I’m doing it.  I. Am. Doing. It.

    I am also thinking about the year ahead and what I want to do when it comes to running.  I won my registration to the BlueNose Marathon this year and I will be gearing up for the half marathon again.  My desire is that I finish it in under 2 hours 10 minutes, as that is my current personal best.

    I’d like to do a fall half marathon as well.  This means I REALLY need to train and run smart in 2017.  It also means I have to take care of myself mentally as well.  Not being on top of my illness and letting it take over my body can throw a big wrench into my plans.  Depression can shut your body down.  If you don’t pay attention it will show up as aches, pains and then injury.  Total body shut down means it hurts to move all the time:   getting out of bed, walking down the stairs, breathing, etc.  Not good.

    I have started weight lifting again (as I type this I have some major DOMS going on in my upper body, and the typing struggle is real, hahaha) and will make an effort to schedule in my yoga daily.  I bought new gloves for weights, a yoga strap (I had been using an old scarf), and a block (again, using something other than a block, read:  my travel foam roller) today to keep me in the groove.

    I am hoping that I can keep this train rolling into 2017 and focus on good food as fuel, proper hydration, and a smart plan when it comes to training.

    I will be thoroughly documenting my ups and downs this year.  My trials and tribulations 😉  Weekly posts will give you an idea where my body and brain are, I promise!

    My train derailed early last year, and I plan to keep it on the rails for 2017.

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season so far, and I wish you all the best for the New Year! xo

    @crazymamaruns