The Midlife Reframe

Category: blogger

  • When Life Gives You…..Shingles

    Yes, You Are Reading That Correctly

    Pic courtesy of Bitmoji 🙂

    This is NOT an “old people” thing.
    Your risk of complications increases over the age of 70.
    TeenThing had them when she was 10/11 years old.
    They appeared on the right hand side of my stomach, just across from my hip bone, just over a week ago.
    At first, I though something had bitten me in my sleep, as I discovered them within an hour of waking.  I stripped my bed looking for the culprit.  NOTHING.
    They were itchy, and warm.  So I took a picture and sent it off to my mother.  She told me I needed to get to the doctor, because it looked like shingles.  So off I went.
    My doctor (she was on duty at the walk-in clinic, yay!) confirmed that I did indeed have shingles.  She wrote me a prescription, which I filled (and started taking) right away.
    Now, before this happened, I thought I was getting a chest cold.  A day or two before that I had a sty in my eye.
    Those shingle things were itchy and burning.  They also “tingled”, like electric shocks.  I, thankfully, did not have much pain.  I was very, very fatigued.

    Everything came to a grinding halt

     

     

    My training had to stop.
    I had to rest.
    I had to try and bring down the stress levels.
    (I know what you are all thinking: Exercise is supposed to eliminate stress.  It does.  But sometimes you are burning the candle at both ends and you are blind to it.  As a single mom I can sometimes get tunnel vision thinking I can do it all, when I can’t.)
    I am still following the group I was training with on Running Moms.  Still watching the running form videos.  Still downloading my workouts and the meal plans.  Carey’s HIIT workouts and running workouts were really showing me what I was neglecting in my training.  This is going to come in handy for the rest of my running season and when I start my half marathon training in January.
    For now, I am slowly going to work my workouts back into my day.  Being on vacation for two weeks is going to make this easier 😉
    So, anyone else out there had shingles?




     

  • Confessions of a Social (Anxiety Filled) Introvert

    Sounds Funny Right?

    I love being out around people.

    Sometimes.

    I know that my mental illness contributes to my “I can’t people” moments.  I’ve learned that is just a part of who I am now, and that’s okay.

    I had a really bad anxiety filled “OMG I am going to be out in a group on the open water” moment Friday night.  This was right before my 2nd sea kayaking adventure at East Coast Outfitters on Saturday.  Now, I absolutely LOVE this activity.  Like LOVE LOVE.  But I had this “how can I get out if it” moment that I had to sit down and talk myself out of.

    It is always worth it in the end, going out and doing something I love.

     

    Happy Me.  I have awesome friends.

    The struggle is real.  REAL.  So, to show you the weirdness that is me, here are some of my confessions:

    1.  I get the heebie jeebies just about every morning on the bus.  Especially if it is full.  I have to listen to my meditation app, a podcast, or turn up my music and try to make myself small so no one is touching me. I only talk if it is necessary, like if the bus is on fire.
    2.  I love people watching, just sitting out amongst the everyday hustle and bustle, but being in a large crowd turns me into a flight risk on occasion.  The “world is closing in on me” feeling sneaks up and turns me into a panic stricken ball looking for the nearest way out.
    3.  I get excited to make plans with my friends to do something AWESOME.  About 4 to 24 hours after the fact, my brain hijacks my heart and starts to plan an escape route. 
    4.  I can work a party like a rockstar, once I’ve had time to analyze the room. If there are too many “in my face people”, I start to plan my stealth, ninja-like, exit.
    5.  I love being in crowds and meeting new people.  Depending on my level of social energy, you may get the low down of who I am and what I stand for, or you just get the Cole’s Notes version of me.
    6.  I may want to spend every weekend out and about, but that drains the fun out of me.  There are days I don’t leave the apartment, and it doesn’t bother me at all.  Silence and a reboot are what I need.

    In the right environment, I will flourish.  I just need to be with the right energy.

    So, if I seem a little “stand offish”, I’m not.  I’m just feeling you (and my surroundings) out.

    @crazymamaruns

  • Running and Pink Ice Energy

    A Little Fitting.  The Weather, That Is…

    For those who follow me on Instagram, you’ll remember a post I made earlier this week, about running in warm weather.
    This is Mother Nature’s Revenge.  But very fitting to go along with my review this week.
    I haven’t run since Thursday.  I am in the “in between” with a head/chest cold (thanks Mom and TeenThing).  Fighting it as hard as I can.  So today’s weather didn’t really cause me any issues.  I have my base built, so missing some days is not going to derail my training.

    Okay, so what is this Pink Ice Energy?

    I was contacted a week ago and offered some samples of Pink Ice Energy to review.
    I am an information hound, and was provided with the details of what is in Pink Ice Energy, and happily accepted the opportunity to test the product out.
    I received a fantastic package in the mail with some extra goodies 🙂  (Thanks guys!)
    I am loving the hat AND the infuser!
    When it came to testing the product out, I tried to NOT think about it.  I took it as it is, a dietary supplement.  The packages are great to throw into your bag.  I am bad for remembering my vitamins, so it was great to have one of these around 🙂
    [As always, before taking any dietary supplement, read the liner sheets and get the advice of your doctor.  This product is for ages 18 and over.  You take 1 packet per day.]
    When I had my first packet, I was like, “Pop Rocks!”.  It snaps and pops once you have it in your mouth!  You let it dissolve and it gives you some minty breath afterwards 😉  
    (The pop rock sensation did take me back to my childhood, lol.)
    I carried on with my day, worked my regular 9-5, did my run at lunch and headed home.  Had supper, did my puttering around the house.  Felt good!
    The next day was my long run day.  I went through my usual morning routine, having a packet of Pink Ice Energy after breakfast.  I did 12ish kilometres (11.9, lol) that day and after I stretched, showered and snacked, we headed out to the Mall.  Usually I would require a nap on long run days, like not too long after I get home.  I made it until after supper before I got a little nappish, lol.

    With a couple of ladies from Clayton Park Runners 🙂

    Come Monday morning, the regular chaos of the work week resumed.  I forgot to throw a packet in my bag.  I had a lunch run planned and had to squeeze that in as it was a busy one.  I ran.  I hit my old 3:00pm wall. 

    Forgot it again on Tuesday (d’oh!) and hit Spin Class.  Tuesday was busy.  Hit my 3:00pm wall.

    Wednesday was my rest day.  I actually remembered my packet, lol.  Had a busy day.  Did not hit the 3:00pm wall.

    Thursday was my last run this week.  Had a great run, but man it was WINDY.  That was TeenThing’s first day home with the plague. She was full on plague by Friday morning.

    (That’s when I got the heavy feeling in my chest. Friday morning. So a few extra rest days for me!)

    I can say the following about Pink Ice Energy, as a mom and as a runner:

    • Pop Rock sensation.  Took me back to my childhood!  lol
    • Did have a minty after effect.  Cool, fresh breath.
    • I found I had extended energy, not just a boost.  As a working/running mom, this is great.  Usually when I get home (or sometimes on the bus home), I want a nap.  Not so much on the days I had Pink Ice Energy.  Being skeptical of energy products, this was a nice surprise.
    • No “come down” at any point of the day.  No sluggishness at any point later in the evening, and I went to sleep with no issues.
    Want to try it out for yourself?
    You can get your free sample here: http://www.pinkiceenergy.ca/free-sample/ 

    (Please note that when you sign up you will have to wait a few more weeks to receive their samples (The product is launching in Canada in April and they will soon receive their Canadian packaging.  20% off your first order too!).
     
    Come back again next week, because I need to update you on my training!
    #crazymamaruns
     
     

  • Countdown to Half Marathon Training – Blue Nose Marathon 2016

    Nervous is an understatement…

    So nervous that I miscalculated the the beginning date of my training plan when putting it in my calendar.  Oops!
    I had myself starting on January 14th.  When I was finishing up the calendar entries I noticed that I was ending the week BEFORE the Blue Nose…..GAH!
    So, this week I will redo the plan and get an extra week in at the gym and do some running outside (after both storms pass this week – eeep!).

    More winter running….outside……this year!!

     

    But you’ve run this race before RIGHT?!?!

    Yeeeeeeessssssssssssss.  But it’s been 3 years.
    I know once I start a regular training plan I will be fine.  It’s the getting started part that is the problem, hahaha.
    This time around, I am following the Hansons Half Marathon Method.  It’s usually my legs that are the issue when I hit the last 5kms or so of a Half.  This plan will get me used to cumulative fatigue.  I am coupling this with strength training and yoga to round it out.
    I have already started my yoga and strength training.  At the end of a 7 Day Bad Yogi Challenge this week.  Also doing The Year of Yoga. Starting back to a regular yoga practice has really brought attention to how tight my body is.  OWIE!

    I have calculated my required food intake to start training at my current weight and will do some intense grocery shopping this week.  I will be logging some serious kms with this plan and need the fuel to keep this body pumping.  Look out Costco!
    So from now until May 22nd be prepared for “The Chronicles of Half Marathon Training” by Yours Truly!!!

  • Crazy Mama RAN!!!!!!!!!! The First Race in 2 YEARS!

    Yes, you read right.  I RAN on October 24th!

    A while back I signed up for the BLT 5km Fun Run/Walk out in Timberlea, Nova Scotia.  I needed to sign up for something to keep me going, and decided 5km was a good start.
    This run is an out and back from the BLT Elementary School and most of the run is on a gravel trail.  This trail is super familiar to me because I have done many runs on this trail prepping for races in the past.
    I did my mini carb load the night before (hello PIZZA!) and carried myself off to bed after midnight (oops).
    I had no problem waking up.  None.  Excitement/Adrenaline had me awake well before my alarm went off!
    Got myself some oatmeal, coffee and sat down to plan the race outfit de jour 🙂
    It was chilly, so layers were in order.  Not too many though.  Pants for sure.
    I dressed right away so I had no time to overthink anything.
    I arrived early enough to pick up my race kit and ran into some of my friends, including Peter, who was volunteering 🙂  I also ran into my PT from knee surgery recovery, lol.  What are the odds??

    Peter was excited to see me running again!**

    I stayed inside the school and waited with some of the other runners until it was close to “go time” because it was chilly.

    Then, out I went.

    And stood mid pack.

    Talked to my Twitter FitFam friend Myles and his lovely wife for a minute, just to shake the growing anxiety and remind myself that I AM A RUNNER, lol.
    Then, the voice from the loudspeaker made the announcements, I was surrounded by runners, heard the word “GO” and off we went!
    There I am – Top Far Right!  GO AMY GO!!!!!!!!!!
    Now, previous races, I would have shot out of there like a cheetah.  But, having learned from this lesson (during the Valley Harvest 10km where I went out like a cheetah and wanted to barf my guts out halfway), I just kept a nice slowish pace to get myself warm.
    I caught up to Myles’ lovely wife just after 1km and we ran for a bit until her walk break.
    Then, I was SOLO.
    I picked up my pace a bit and passed a few people.  Stopped for a minute because I picked it up a little more than I should, lol.  Then I decided to find someone that had a decent pace (by feel) and stayed a bit behind them for the next couple of kms.
    I reached the turnaround point feeling good.
    Then I saw the 3km marker and lost it.

    Tears.

    I had the moment I though I would have at the end.  The “HOLY CRAP I AM RUNNING IN AN EVENT” moment.
    3km.
    But crying and running don’t really mix, mostly because you can’t see, so I stopped for a minute, wiped my eyes and kept going.
    The last km has a hill.  BLECH.
    I walked up that hill.
    Because ME.
    And then, the last 500m I put the pedal to medal and came in like a FREAKING GAZELLE:


    SEE HOW HAPPY I AM?!?!?!??!

    Super happy.

    I was lucky to get a photo with my peeps afterward who were there to see my first race in forever!



    Time:  30mins 47secs.

    CRUSHED IT.

    Now, I am attempting to plan out what my 2016 Race Calendar will look like.

    And how to get that 30 mins to 25 or under, lol.

    Look out world.  I’M BACK!!!!


    **Thanks to Paul Wesson Photography for taking the wicked awesome Race pics!

  • I RUN MY FIRST 5K NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My First 5K….

    Man that sounds weird.

    I think my last race was in 2013.

    2013.

    I gimped up in 2014.

    Surgery and recovery for most of 2015.

    Am I ready?

    More than likely.

    Am I confident?

    No.  LOL.

    I wanted my first “race” to be a shorter distance, a fun run.  Something with NO CHIP TIME, lol.  So the BLT 5km Fun Run was the winner 🙂


    I will be in this pod of peeps next Saturday!!



    Will I want to make a good time?  

    Uh, DUH.

    Will it matter?

    Nope, because I will be crying.  Before, possibly during, and most definitely after.

    What matters most?

    The experience.  My first race back in 2 years.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • And Then I Got Sick

    Yes, sick.

    Coming off my BlogJam high I went into work on Monday.
    It came and went with it’s usual routine.

    Then Tuesday.  Tuesday I woke up and felt like a slug.  Dragged my butt into work and made it through the day.

    What time did I get to bed?  8:35pm.
    Like a BOSS.
    Needless to say I was laid out Wednesday and Thursday with sinus pressure and total grossness.  No physical activity was had last week.

    The cats were checking in on me constantly.

    Time to re-evaluate…

    So, because I have a mental illness, there are times that my immune system is not at it’s best.  I mean, depression and anxiety = long term stress.  So the days leading up to my first speaking engagement, they were some super stressful days.  Exciting stress, but stress all the same.
    As I took care of myself those two days I was at home I started to think of my food, hydration, meditation and wondered if I needed something else to bolster my immune system so that I would not be as easy to infect.
    I decided to go back on a multivitamin.   A women’s multivitamin, because let’s face it, I am over 40 😉

    Now I know what some people think.

    You need to sweat that shit out.  Sweat out those germs.
    NO.
    Putting extra stress on my already weakened immune system?  Sorry, not an option.
    I learned a looooooong time ago, when TeenThing was a wee one, that pushing through being sick is not always a good thing.
    When she was just over a year old, I ended up in the hospital for a week.  My body was in shut down mode.  They had no idea what was wrong with me.  To this day, there is still no explanation as to what was wrong.  I was jaundiced, fatigued, and I hurt.  I was in isolation for the first few days.  They took 6 vials of blood every morning.  I saw so many different doctors and they wanted biopsies, yuck (which did not happen – yay).  Finally, I just started to feel better and was able to go home (in a raging snowstorm, but taxis were out and I was NOT staying in there any longer than I had to!).

    Lesson:  My life, my body, my child, are the most important things.  When you are sick, rest dammit. 

     

    And hey, getting better means apple picking baby!

     

    I’ve said it before, self care ROCKS.  Not only mental self care, but physical self care as well.  Being a person is hard these days.  We need to remember that just because the world is going a gazillion km per hour doesn’t mean WE have to keep that pace.
    So if you are sick, take care of yourself.  We have sick days for a reason.  Not using them is not going to win you any brownie points.  Same with exercise/training.  Taking a couple of days to rest is not going to set you back so far that you will suffer any major setback.
    Stay home.
    Get better.
    Then go and kick some ass.

     

     

  • BlogJam 2015, Ativan and How 8 1/2 x 11 Paper is Bad for Speaking Notes

    I Enjoyed Every Minute of BlogJam 2015!!

    Even though I wanted to vomit.  
    And not because I had a bug.
    My day started off early, as I was taking the Public Limo downtown.  This only runs every hour on Sunday.
    Once I arrived at the Ferry Terminal I was able to catch the amazing sunrise over the harbour 🙂

    After which I had to Periscope my Wake Up!
    I was early, so I grabbed my reusable coffee mug at work.  Because environment.
    My anxiety level was at a very low 10%.  Yay.
    On arrival, I was able to see the BlogJam Team in action.  They were awesome! Seeing them pull it all together before registration was kind of calming 😉
    One of my favourite parts.  MAKING MY OWN NAME TAG!!

     

    Sparkly 🙂

    I then fuelled up while I waited for my fellow bloggers to arrive.  I was so lucky to be able to spend the day with some of my favs!!

    Anxiety level was creeping up….like 25%.

    And Then it Began….

    KeyNote Speaker was Vicki Murphy (aka @MotherFumbler) who got the mood set with a down to earth, real, and HILARIOUS welcome.

    (GIRL CRUSH – I LOVE HER.)

    I was then on a mission to learn, all while attempting to silence the looming anti-voice inside my head.

    So off I went to follow the “be real” theme that ran through the 2nd floor of the Marriott Waterfront.
    (Some real:  I was slowly losing my shit.)
    I attended some awesome sessions.  I mean look at this.  It was so hard to chose!

    And then we eat.  You know, not long before MY presentation.

    Lunchtime arrived and every one broke off to eat.  I bought my lunch, so I grabbed my bag filled with chicken ceasar wrap awesomeness and took an Ativan.  Yep.  Medicated myself.
    Anxiety level….reaching 110%.  For real. 
    Luckily, after I scarfed my lunch down, I was able to hide behind Adam Purcell‘s table, where I charged my phone and tried NOT to vomit, while praying to the Ativan God to HURRY UP AND WORK ALREADY.

    I then removed myself from the area.  I could not attend a session before mine.  It was just NOT going to happen.
    I listened to some music and decided I NEEDED TO RUN.

    Yep.

    Took off my boots.


    I love these little boots 🙂

    I ran outside of the main presentation rooms.  For real.

    I did some downward dogs.  

    A few pushups.  

    And took a big deep breath.

    Anxiety level….CODE RED.

    But it was go time.

    And so I did it.

    I stood up in front of people and spoke.


    I had speaking notes, which was a printout of my bullet points.

    I can’t remember what I said, for the life of me, but I remember this:  that paper is big, maybe not in the paper world, but for someone who was killing paperclips by the millisecond, it was the largest paper I had ever seen.

    By this point, even with my friend Ativan, the voice of my mental illness was LOUD inside my head.  I was doubting every word that came out of my mouth.  
    That being said, I hope something got across to the absolutely wonderful folks who came and sat in on my session.  You were a wonderful group of people.  Some who I knew, and some I met that morning.  
    I kind of lost myself near the end, mostly because of THAT PAPER, but I did it.

    I survived the voices in my head.
    Also, I got some AWESOME JAM!!

    This jam ROCKS!

    What Did I Learn?

    BE REAL.  Above all else.

    We all have a voice.  Find it.  Write with it.

    Say yes, no matter what the outcome.

    Group Panel sessions are great to get different perspectives.

    If you get stuck when writing, it’s okay.  We all get stuck.

    Put yourself out there by taking chances.

    Bloggers are awesome people….and I am one of them.

    Thank you BlogJam 2015!  You let me step outside of my comfort zone.  I learned so much!

    See you next year 🙂



    @crazymamaruns







  • The Post About BlogJam 2015 and Recharging My Batteries

    I am Presenting at a Conference!!

    My very first time speaking outside of work related office talks…..sharing my story.  Mental illness, physical fitness and my bloggy journey.  It will be real.  It will be fun. It will be filled with lots of ME, lol. 
    I am hella nervous.
    I am hella excited.
    I may bend ALL the paperclips!!!!
    Sooooo, which conference?
    This one:

     

    So, if you are a Blogger, Wanna Be Blogger, or are interested in connecting with your fellow Bloggers on the Atlantic Coast of Canada, register soon!  It’s free! (You can make a small donation for coffee that is provided throughout the day to all conference attendees – I did, because we all know how much I love coffee!).  There will be some amazing presenters!!!

    Fresh off a Long Weekend

    Boy did I ever need the break.  It was good to get out of the familiar, everyday environment of home/work/gym/run and spend some time away from the city.
    We did a roadtrip with my parents to beautiful Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. 
    Both of my parents are from there.
    We stayed with family and had such a good time 🙂  I ate what I wanted, had lots of java juice, family BBQ on Sunday and I started to learn how to knit socks. (It may take me 2 years to finish them….but…..lol.) 
    The pictures do not do this awesome part of the Province justice.  

    So, where do you love to go to recharge YOUR batteries?  Doesn’t have to be a trip that takes you far. Day trips are great.  Long hikes are also wicked awesome.
    Remember, we all need self care.  I forget this, a lot.
    So book some time with yourself.  It’s totally worth it 🙂

  • The Post of Awkward Feet and Back to Running!

    Yes, BACK TO RUNNING!

    My Feet were VERY EXCITED to lace up 🙂  Happy Heart, Happy Soul!

    My first run took me around the Marsh.

    And by one of the ponds!



    I started running on Monday of this week, setting up a schedule to run M/W/F mornings and strength train on my off days.  Hauling my behind out of bed at 5:45 am to get dressed, feed the cats and haul ass out the door.

    Boy did it ever feel weird…..actually RUNNING.

    I mean, it’s been over a year now since I seriously logged some kms.

    I did run this time last year, but it was only for a couple of runs.  I was told NO RUNNING shortly after.  In hindsight, this was best as I was running with a piece of femur in my knee.  I mean, I knew it was there, but I had no idea how big it was at the time…..like 2cms big…..gah!

    I am wobbly as all get out.  Have no idea how to pace myself anymore (insert BIG sad face here).  I take walking breaks to try and keep a good pace because I speed up and sound like I am dying….huffing and puffing.  Sheesh.  Trying to find my feet again is like a baby learning to walk.  I remind myself to look UP and straight (I tend to look down at my leg…..worrying about my knee, it’s fine…..I am so paranoid right now!  lol).  I remind myself to keep my stride shorter so I don’t heel strike. 
    (And here I am telling people I run to clear my head…..that seems to be the last .7 kms of my run this week.)
    Probably quite the sight in my neck of the woods as the sun rises.  
    It’s good that I am running early in the morning where there is only me, the road/trail, some cyclists, dog walkers and the odd early morning runner. It keeps me motivated to keep going if there are not many people around my “running time” right now…hahaha.
    (It’s good for me AND for others, as ‘Flailing Amy’ is best kept to a low spectator count until she starts running with her BRF and finally gets a GPS watch 😉  )

    On Monday, I start all over again.  Maybe I will run the route in the opposite direction next week.  Strength training and yoga will be the fillers, maybe a Tuesday spin class.  Shake it up.  Keep it fun.
    If you want to keep track of my new flailing running adventures, I am on Strava (and with the Another Mother Runner Group – #BAMR!) and will follow you back.  I love this Kudos thing!
    The take away from this post is this:  I feel great.  My knee feels great.  I. AM. HAPPY.
    Stay tuned for further #RunningWithAmy awesomeness/random blogginess coming soon!!
    #crazymamaruns