The Midlife Reframe

Category: blogger

  • Total October Randomness

    Here we go!

     This is what I am doing right now….running while I can!

    I see the surgeon in 20 days.  So as long as it is not torrential downpour or hurricane force winds, I am going to try and get as much running time in as is humanly possible.

    I’m not going gangbusters mind you, but with the thought of being laid up for possibly 6-8 weeks and then recovery…well I am going to get it all in.

    Same with my yoga.  Home and at the studio.  I will practice every day!

    I want to be in great condition so I can kickass in recovery.

    The better shape I am in, the quicker my recovery time.

    And now…..other ramblings….

    So, as some of you know, I am a single mom.  This is both challenging and rewarding.  Challenging when the other parent is not involved, but rewarding because I see the awesome human I am raising on my own.  

    There have been times when I have doubted the job I am doing, just like every other parent.  Parenting is hard, period.  Even with both parents.  There are times you doubt every decision you make. 

    As parents, we are always hard on ourselves.  Harder than anyone else would be on US.  We keep our doubts and inner criticisms to ourselves.  No parent is perfect, no matter people may think or say.  We’ve all made mistakes and we learn from that.  We need to help each other out.  Give each other some pats on the back.  This is one hard gig!

    And then more randomness today because sometimes….

    I get the schlumpies.

    That’s what I call my bad days with depression.  The days I want to hibernate.  

    I find it gets worse when I don’t see the sun for more than 2 days.  

    No matter how much I run, how much I yoga, sometimes they just come along and pull the rug out from beneath me.

    Rude, yes.  I just find ways to get through them.  Whether it’s medidation, chocolate or some downtime with Netflix, I make it.  If it is really bad, I reach out, because sometimes the schlumpies leak out my eyes.

    In the end…

    I am still here.  Grateful for everything I have.  Grateful for everyone in my life.  Grateful for those who didn’t hang around.  I try to learn from every experience, good or bad.  There is a lesson in everything if you step back and look.

    Am I stubborn? Yes.  Will I make decisions that suck?  Yes.  But I get up the next day and start over.  Every day is a new beginning.  Yesterday is gone.  Put your feet on the ground and start over.

    It’s the best part, starting over.

    I’ve done it a lot.  You can too 🙂

    Sending out high fives and hugs!  We are all doing the best we can to get through this life.
     

     


  • When Life Gets in the Way….

    Like this past week.

     

    Yep, that was my look when last Tuesday hit.

     I’ve had an EVIL cold.  Not just a regular old head cold.  It is accompanied by this lovely hacking cough.

    And of course it’s that really random cough that happens at the most inappropriate times:  on a long bus ride, laying down, sitting up, during regular breathing, when you are trying to have a regular conversation…..you get the idea.  I sound like seal.

    I only wish I looked this cute!

    Fluids, rest, get what fitness I can in during my day, and rest some more.  This has been my agenda since last Tuesday.

    Now I know some folks would think…

    Hey fitness chick, sweat that puppy out!

    If it was a head cold and a week later, I would agree.  I would have been moving and grooving once the head cleared up.  A cough is a different story. Especially with running.  I need the lungs in good shape!! (even with my gimpy short runs right now) This has, of course put a stop to my hot yoga classes and any other group oriented fitness.  I don’t want to spread that love around.  Besides, I’d scare the living crap out of everyone in Savasana!!

    Since I am older, wiser and not AS stubborn

     

    I am taking the time I NEED to get better.  I am walking, I am moving and I am RESTING.  I am no good to anyone else, especially me, if I don’t take the time I need to get better.  

    That last statement goes for any situation that life throws at you.  Take the time YOU need to deal with it.  Not what anyone else (outside of the medical profession of course) tells you is the appropriate amount of time.  AND DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT EITHER!

    I remember when I was diagnosed with depression, asking the doc how long would it take for me to “feel better”.  She told me not to worry about “how long”.  Everyone is different.

    So, I am hoping my cough makes it exit and I can get back to it sooner rather than later.  If it gets worse, off to the doc.  If it doesn’t and disappears soon – all good.  Just have to patient, and take care of me 🙂




     

     

  • September, Surgeon, and Looking Towards Late Fall…

    Friday – Awesome Cookie Delivery

    This weekend was awesomeness!

    There were many celebrations this weekend, as yours truly turned yet another year older!

    The awesomeness started on Friday with a delivery to my office…COOKIES!  My “Greg” is super duper fantastic.  These are from Halifax Cookie Cravings. Handmade, with locally sourced ingredients.  She delivers on her bicycle 🙂  MUCH LOVE to this lovely woman!

    Had a great hike on Saturday in Victoria Park (the bottom pics in my mega pic).  It has Jacob’s Ladder, which are the stairs I am walking up…all 175 of them.

    Media preview
    Saturday – Hiking, Luau, and Fire!

    This park is awesome.  We haven’t had much rain lately, so the waterfalls were waterdribbles 😦  But still a great day for a trail hiking adventure!

    Then…..we came home, refuelled and got ready for an evening of Luau BBQ Party Time! Was a ton of fun!  Games, food and great people.  Definitely a great day 🙂 

    Surgeon Appointment!!!  Yahoooo!

    Love love love hot yoga!

    Since I had not heard from anyone for about six weeks, I made a call to Dr. S as he told me to if I had not heard about a referral by this time.  Thank goodness the super awesome receptionist was able to find the info and hand me off to the surgeon who will be doing my knee surgery.  I meet with him in October 😀   Since it will be day surgery, I am hoping I get in BEFORE Christmas.  I would love to be able to run some races next summer/fall!

    For now, I am to stick to my yoga and my short runs.  No racing.

    So, What’s Going on Now?

    Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

    The winning shirt arrived from Runalicious!  Soft, comfortable and fit me perfectly.  It is definitely in my rotation of super fantastic weekend shirts 😀  They have some really great t shirts and running singlets.  Give them a look see!

    Been looking to get some new smoothie recipies.  I’ve gone through Pinterest, but if any of you out there have some quick and easies, please comment below!  I love trying new smoothies 🙂

    For now, I am trying to keep myself healthy and not cause further damage to the knee.  With this condition, where there are already mini fractures and floatie pieces in my knee, sometimes just taking a step can cause it to lock or let go.  Argh.  So my running is spotty, my walking questionable and my yoga full of adjustments.

    So keeping the knee “good” is hard, because I am clumsy.  Really clumsy.  I once sprained my ankle running across the street to a Dairy Queen and I’ve been known to walk into door jambs, while walking towards the door.

    Is anyone else clumsy like me?  lol

      

  • How Hot IS Hot Yoga???

    HOT! HOT! HOT!

    Tonight was my first class at Moksha Yoga in Bedford, NS 🙂 I signed up on Saturday as they had their “Summer Special” on.  $60 for 60 days.

    I have taken yoga before, and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I figured with the deal on it was a great time to try it out and see if it was something I would be into. 

    So, how does this hot yoga thing work?

    I arrived well before the 15 mins they ask for, as I needed to change.  Melissa greeted me at the desk and we had a quick chat.  She made sure I was armed with water, mat and towels (they rent them if you don’t have any) and sent me on my way to the change room. (No late people here.  You’re late, you are out of luck.  NO YOGA FOR YOU!)

    This studio is wonderful.  Clean, quiet and welcoming.

    I changed and walked into the “Brazil” room….and the wall hit me.  IT’S HOT.  

    I walked to what I thought was the back of the class and set up my mat, beach towel over the mat and grabbed some blocks and a strap.  With my water and little face towel beside me, I settled into Savasana.  I figured this would help me acclimatize.  I laid there and sweat BIG TIME, like someone had turned on a sweat faucet.  But eventually that did slow down…until class started…

    Because you’ll be full of it!

    Tonight’s class was Yin Yoga (90 minutes).  Melissa was our instructor.

    Yin Yoga is a little different as you hold your poses anywhere from 3-10 minutes.  It is all about relaxing and letting gravity do the work.  The focus is on the breath and the stretch.  No activating muscles.  Release.

    Upon Melissa’s arrival into the class, she advised today we would be focusing on legs!  (AND that the back of the room…..was actually the front…no looking at the mirror and so much for hiding…lol) 

    I though “wooooohooooo!”….because today, I ran 5kms!!!!!  (Go ME!) My legs were a little tight as this is the most I’ve run since the discovery of my OCD knee.

    I am just a little excited in this photo…lol


    We got started and at first I was struggling to get into a pose, until Melissa said to go with my body and when I felt the edge to stop and breathe.  At first I thought “How am I going to stay in these positions for 3-5-10 minutes??”.  The trick is (for me anyway) to close your eyes and focus on your breathing.  I found that once I did that (like in meditation) I let go.  I stopped worrying about where I was in the moment and let my body guide me.  There was a moment of “Ummm, I am kind of hot…am I going to puke….”, but that passed once I got control of my breathing 🙂

    I was dripping sweat everywhere!  And thankfully, so was the rest of the room…lol.

    At the end, while in Savasana (yay!) the lovely Melissa came around with cold facecloths and placed them over our eyes – BEST EVER!

    Afterwards, she congratulated me.  Not only on my first class, but for doing so well in a 90 minute class 🙂  I told her it was probably one of the best classes I have taken.

    So, guess where I am going tomorrow night???

    Next time…tank top!  Holy sweat 🙂

  • Pushups, Packing and Where Did My Hair Go!!

    Having a supportive partner is great.

    Especially one who loves to share his love of fitness apps 🙂 We started using a push up app last week, and it’s great.  My arms, chest, core and back don’t think so, but, too bad!

    We are both waiting impatiently for the outcome of my MRI on Wednesday.  I miss working out with him and running with my bud K.

    The results will hopefully fly speedy like through the interweb to my specialist.  Because on Saturday, while just walking my niece in her stroller, my knee gave out….bad.  Like “can’t put my foot down and holy crap what will I do if I can’t walk home” bad.  But some elevation and ice…good to go.  I  dislike that uncertainty.

    My other super exciting fun thing this month has been packing.  Okay, big lie.  It’s not fun.  A necessary evil to get to my new place of awesome.  It’s coming along.  Bit by slooooooooooow bit.  Good news though, my new bedroom will have a space for me to set up a little serenity area 🙂  Yoga mat, super awesome fountain and chill.

    I did a total random thing on Friday.  Something that has caused many “WHOA” moments.  I cut my hair off.  Yep.  Snippedy Snip.  I’m not one who freaks out about it.  It grows back.  It’s hair.  But it has been quite a while since I’ve had it cut this short.  Feels liberating.  And it’s great for the heat 🙂

    Besides, it’s time to grow out this hair colour.  I’m not a real blonde. You’ll have to hang on over the next while to see what’s hiding underneath!

    Since we’re all here…

    Time for some irony.  Those of us who have a mental illness know that physical activity plays a big part in our recovery.  The ironic thing about my situation…I was working in the fitness industry when my world collapsed in on me.  Things happen for a reason at the weirdest times in our lives.  I continued to train with my trainer once I was put off of work.  I am so glad I did.  Even though my whole body had shut down, she got me through some tough shit.  It’s why I adore her to pieces and why I miss running with her.  Hopefully soon we can get back to our runs and our wonky jibber jabber.

    Signing off for tonight.  For those who run:  Run with your heart.  For those who are in their dark place and are uncertain:  There is a light in there, I promise.  For those who love us when we are in that dark place:  Thank you.       
       

  • Becoming Grounded…and Total Randomness

    With things being totally hectic over the past couple of months…

    I’ve found it hard to focus.  Especially with not being able to run  That was a form of meditation for me. 

    I have found other ways to get my fitness fix, with some prompting from the man in my life (we’ll call him Mr. Y) and I am grateful for that.  He is very patient with me as he is still getting to know my moods and my mental illness. 
     

    I have been doing meditation and yoga at home, as I have posted in the past.  But I have to say.  It has really made me pause the past couple of days and I am now trying to be more aware.  Of how I love the smell of my coffee in the morning.  How great smoothies taste.  How I have way too much “stuff”.  How I love my sneakers.  How comfortable I am in my running gear.  How much I love food – fruit, greek yoghurt, dried cranberries.  How grateful I am for my support system.  How much time I DON’T spend enjoying the silence around me…and I thought, “I’ve gotten caught up in stuff”.  Time to get grounded!

    This means more time to meditate, more yoga, a hunt for my mala beads (let them choose me), more fitness and more awareness.

    A yoga blog I love is Yoga Girl.  She shares a lot and I love it.  Her good times, bad times, her emotions.  It’s all laid bare.  She is non-apologetic about sharing her feelings and I think it ROCKS.  I mean, we’re not happy ALL the time…and I think that’s okay.

    I’ve also been reading other fitness blogs (i.e. Fit Grampa – a new blogger) and yoga blogs.  The blogging runners (some listed here on my page) I follow keep me excited about the prospect of running again, AND I am getting to learn of some really cool races outside of Nova Scotia.  Really looking forward to doing some of these!!  I also have a great twitter feed FULL of awesome supportive runners/bloggers (Bagtownblogtrotter, Michelle The Runner, Janet of jan.etc, and so many others!  To list them all….that’s another blog post…lol).  This is something I am really thankful for 🙂

    My mission for the rest of the summer is to not move so fast that I miss the things that make me HAPPY.  To enjoy what I can do now, knowing that eventually I will be able to lace up and run.  Because there are some that don’t have that luxury.
    ****As I finished editing this post ….I am happy to say that I have an MRI appointment!  I call tomorrow for details 😀