Got a New Drug

So it’s been a journey, but we’ve hit a fork in the road.

It was time to admit that my meds were not necessarily working like they used to.

I’ve known this subconsciously for a while now. It just took some time for my conscious self to catch up.

My endless need for more sleep, my disinterest in so many things that I once loved, my lack of motivation, lack of focus, and my lack of concentration were all staring me in the face. I just didn’t want to see them.

I mean, I was on meds. They were helping me. I just must be in a slump…..for a really really long time.

Depression and denial are bedfellows. One is connected to the other with super duper steel chains.

It’s hard to break that connection. Hard to admit that maybe things are working like they are supposed to.

It’s funny though, because I made my appointment to talk to my doctor not to talk about what was happening, but to refill my anti psychotic.

She asked me how I was doing, and the words came out of my mouth: “Can I up the meds I am on, or would I have to try something new?”

We had an honest discussion about how I was. I wasn’t good, and hadn’t been, for a while.

The decision was made to take me off of Cipralex (SSRI) and put me on Pristiq (SNRI). I have to admit that it made me nervous.

We discussed titration, and when to start my new med.

(I am currently in titration mode, and will start my new med next weekend.)

It’s going to take a while for things to change, and my support system has been notified. I have also apologized in advance for any mood swings or snippiness that may come out if me during this time.

I’m optimistic, and hope that this is what works to get me back to doing the things I love.

So, let’s see what next weekend brings with a whole new drug, shall we?