The Midlife Reframe

Category: runner

  • The Chronicles of Half Marathon Training – Week 2

    Still Alive!!

    Sore, and questioning everything, but STILL ALIVE.  lol

    Time to invest in trail shoes…
    I took one day off this week to get some stuff done to make sure I stay healthy on this journey to my first Half in FOREVER.  This ended up in my favour, as it was the day we had our rain to snow dump.
    This week had it’s challenges, as I truly thought I could keep my own pace without using the Garmin to keep me on track.
    WRONG.
    I was all over the place dammit.  Breathing heavy and plodding along like I had to race home because it was on fire.
    But I got my runs done, and learned to reset.

    Day 1 of Week 2

    I. WAS. FREEZING.
    I also learned where to start my runs so that I ended up close to home.  When you cool down, you COOL DOWN, lol.  (Hot baths/showers and hot chocolate after these runs were ESSENTIAL!)
    12.1 miles for this week.  A little off from the plan, but I am good with that.  This week is a steady 4 miles each day (today was 3 miles running with a 1 mile cool down to get used to the virtual pacer) Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
    I turned on the virtual pacer because I was going too fast for my “easy runs” – which right now is EVERY run.  I need to remember I am building mileage and endurance.  The pacer made a big difference today and I was able to tackle hills appropriately without having to walk most of the way.  Yay me!

    Day 2 was my shortest distance – so a run at lunch 🙂
    Third Run – Almost smooshed by a car….GAH.

    Fourth Run – Ran with Clayton Park Runners – Snowy as all get out!

    My Saturday run was done with a new group – Clayton Park Runners.  Small, but mighty 🙂  Since we were running on snowy (some not ploughed) sidewalks and trails we paced accordingly.
    Running this winter has made me really appreciate the sport that much more.  I am feeling it in muscles I have never felt it in before, lol.  Also, running UP snowy inclines…woooooo.  Doing yoga is making SUCH a difference as an add on to my training!
    (I am seriously investing in some trail shoes and warmer layers in the next while.  Increasing mileage will require an upgrade, lol.)
    So, I have to say I am more confident going into this week.
    C’mon back next weekend!  I can’t wait to share my progress with you 🙂

    @crazymamaruns
     

     

  • The Chronicles of Half Marathon Training – Week 1

    And so, it begins…Run #1

    My training weeks go from Sunday to Saturday.
    I was down for 10kms broken down between Thursday and Saturday.  I ended up doing close to 9km.
    Thursday was a GREAT run!  It was cold as all get out, but I was layered sufficiently and had a route planned out.
    It was my very first run outside, post December,…EVER.
    I was hella tight on Friday, using muscles I haven’t used and not used to running in the snow….with some dodge and weave action, lol.  Running with snow….interesting.  Note:  More stretching required.

    No, I was NOT robbing any stores…

    Also, first run with my Garmin!

    It was snowing – so pretty

    Saturday: Run #2

    Well, today wasn’t as awesome as I wanted, close to 4kms.
    I was too fast out of the gate. Ran hunched over.  That made my lower back sore.  Just not my best run.
    But, I ran.  Better than no run.  (There was a break just before I ran up the trail to stretch out my back.)
    The difference between now and from years past was that I knew when I was done.
    I didn’t push it.
    Got home and had a good stretching session.
    Then came coffee and a hot shower. 
    Sweat Frost!  Woop!

    I love my Garmin!

    Clear sidewalks make awesome runs 🙂

    All in all, I am pleased with the first “week” (aka: two days, lol).
    Tomorrow starts a full, action packed week of running awesomeness.
    C’mon back next Saturday for a play by play of how a full week of training may or may not have killed me 😉

    @crazymamaruns

  • Countdown to Half Marathon Training – Blue Nose Marathon 2016

    Nervous is an understatement…

    So nervous that I miscalculated the the beginning date of my training plan when putting it in my calendar.  Oops!
    I had myself starting on January 14th.  When I was finishing up the calendar entries I noticed that I was ending the week BEFORE the Blue Nose…..GAH!
    So, this week I will redo the plan and get an extra week in at the gym and do some running outside (after both storms pass this week – eeep!).

    More winter running….outside……this year!!

     

    But you’ve run this race before RIGHT?!?!

    Yeeeeeeessssssssssssss.  But it’s been 3 years.
    I know once I start a regular training plan I will be fine.  It’s the getting started part that is the problem, hahaha.
    This time around, I am following the Hansons Half Marathon Method.  It’s usually my legs that are the issue when I hit the last 5kms or so of a Half.  This plan will get me used to cumulative fatigue.  I am coupling this with strength training and yoga to round it out.
    I have already started my yoga and strength training.  At the end of a 7 Day Bad Yogi Challenge this week.  Also doing The Year of Yoga. Starting back to a regular yoga practice has really brought attention to how tight my body is.  OWIE!

    I have calculated my required food intake to start training at my current weight and will do some intense grocery shopping this week.  I will be logging some serious kms with this plan and need the fuel to keep this body pumping.  Look out Costco!
    So from now until May 22nd be prepared for “The Chronicles of Half Marathon Training” by Yours Truly!!!

  • Why I am NOT making Resolutions for 2016….

    I Decided to Take a Different Approach.

    This year, I am making Intentions for 2016.

    5 of them.

    Wanna know what they are?

    Here you go!

    My 5 Intentions for 2016:

    1.  I intend to meditate daily.
    2.  I intend to create a solid yoga practice.
    3.  I intend to bring more peace into my life.
    4.  I intend to forgive myself more.
    5.  I intend to run more.

    There you have it.

    I am also carrying over my “give zero fucks” view on life into next year too.  Because really, we all need to do the stuff that makes us happy.  

    When we are happy, we radiate that to everyone around us.

    So radiate all over the place!!!

    @crazymamaruns

  • When Two Sentences Bring Back a Memory So Vivid…

    It’s Funny….

    You would think that having a mental illness would make one steer clear of reading or immersing one’s self in the topic.

    But being who I am I need to learn more.  Not only about my illness, but about other mental illnesses as well.

    I am reading Fast Girl right now by Suzy Favor Hamilton.  I had heard about this book while listening to my Another Mother Runner podcast where Suzy was the guest and spoke so candidly about her Bipolar Illness.

    After I heard her speak to Sarah and Dimity, I needed to read this book.

    I got to page 84 on my iPad.

    I read this:

    “When my doctor walked through the door and smiled at me, I immediately started weeping uncontrollably.  She sat down really close to me and made me look at her.”

    Then I started to cry (and not for the first time, this book is a tear jerker).

    This was EXACTLY what happened the day I went to see my doctor in 2011.  Exactly.  I’ve known my doctor forever.  She delivered my daughter.  We’ve always had a great rapport.  So when she walked in and smiled, I broke down.  

    It was so surreal reading those words.

    I never want to forget that day, and I know I never will.  It is permanently etched in my psyche.

    It was the day I couldn’t run away from what was happening.  The day I hit the wall and fell right back on my ass.

    But at some point, that ass has to move.

    I remember finally getting the courage to get out and run one morning during my recovery.  I had been on my meds for a few weeks and was feeling okay.  I pulled on my gear and went out the door.

    I failed.  So bad.

    My body was still broken down.  My body was still suffering from depression.  I didn’t realize how mental illness affected your whole body.  Not being able to just suit up and run was very devastating to me at the time.

    I walked, a lot.  I worked with my trainer for a bit.  I focused on getting better mentally.  I realized how much running helped me centre. 

    It’s why I cherish every run I have.  Even the bad ones.  Because I know there will be days that I just can’t get out there, and I have accepted that.

    It is a struggle when you are batting depression to get moving.  So the days I do move, I celebrate them.

    I know that having a training plan will force me to move come mid-January.  This time of the year I need something to push me forward.  

    The shorter days with longer periods of darkness are hell.

    I just want to come home and sleep.

    So to those of you who struggle:  

    Keep on keeping on.  Any movement is good.  Walking, yoga, cycling, a gym class.

    And if you can’t do it today, it’s okay.  There is always tomorrow.  

    @crazymamaruns



     

  • Look Out 2016!! I AM COMING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

    Last Weekend I Put a Training Plan in my Calendar…

    I decided that the remainder of 2015 would be used to get back into a regular workout/running schedule.  So much to do between now and the Christmas Holidays that I didn’t want to commit to anything that I may not be able to follow through on.
    I then set my sights on 2016.

    What did I want to do?  Lots of races?  Some halfs and then lots of smaller distances?
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, so I hunkered down and decided the Scotiabank BlueNose Marathon (Half) would be my first BIG race of 2016.
    I have always been half-assed about a training plan and kind of did a “pick and choose” approach, so I decided that this time I needed to follow an actual PLAN.  I had purchased the Hansons Half Marathon Method while I was gimped up and really got into the read.  The approach seems totally doable for me and I will be getting some good mileage in.  I have sat down and converted the miles to kilometres to make my life easier, lol.  
    Will be buckling down soon to plan out my eating for this time period as well.  Proper fuel is required if I am to be successful!

    I will be reuniting with my BRF this weekend as we get some recreation/catch up kilometres in.  And we have SO MUCH to catch up on!  This makes me super happy.
    The BlueNose is later in May (Victoria Day Long Weekend here).
    Yes, I start training mid-January.
    Yes, I will try to run outside as much as I can.
    Yes, I will be running on a treadmill (This does not bother me as much as it does with other people.  I will run where and when I need to, because it is my sanity).
    Yes, you will see lots of “Prepping for the BlueNose” blog posts.  (These will be coupled with “WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING” blog posts through the lovely season known as winter.)
    This also means I need to start utilizing my technology on a regular basis.  So I will be utilizing Strava for this specific purpose.  I’ve been a slacker with recording my workouts, so I will be planning some time each evening to get this done 🙂
    I AM SO EXICTED!!!!
    You’re excited too, I know you are 😉
    So, let’s hang out some more for the remainder of 2015 and then prepare for an awesome and bumpy ride in 2016!
     

     

     

  • Crazy Mama RAN!!!!!!!!!! The First Race in 2 YEARS!

    Yes, you read right.  I RAN on October 24th!

    A while back I signed up for the BLT 5km Fun Run/Walk out in Timberlea, Nova Scotia.  I needed to sign up for something to keep me going, and decided 5km was a good start.
    This run is an out and back from the BLT Elementary School and most of the run is on a gravel trail.  This trail is super familiar to me because I have done many runs on this trail prepping for races in the past.
    I did my mini carb load the night before (hello PIZZA!) and carried myself off to bed after midnight (oops).
    I had no problem waking up.  None.  Excitement/Adrenaline had me awake well before my alarm went off!
    Got myself some oatmeal, coffee and sat down to plan the race outfit de jour 🙂
    It was chilly, so layers were in order.  Not too many though.  Pants for sure.
    I dressed right away so I had no time to overthink anything.
    I arrived early enough to pick up my race kit and ran into some of my friends, including Peter, who was volunteering 🙂  I also ran into my PT from knee surgery recovery, lol.  What are the odds??

    Peter was excited to see me running again!**

    I stayed inside the school and waited with some of the other runners until it was close to “go time” because it was chilly.

    Then, out I went.

    And stood mid pack.

    Talked to my Twitter FitFam friend Myles and his lovely wife for a minute, just to shake the growing anxiety and remind myself that I AM A RUNNER, lol.
    Then, the voice from the loudspeaker made the announcements, I was surrounded by runners, heard the word “GO” and off we went!
    There I am – Top Far Right!  GO AMY GO!!!!!!!!!!
    Now, previous races, I would have shot out of there like a cheetah.  But, having learned from this lesson (during the Valley Harvest 10km where I went out like a cheetah and wanted to barf my guts out halfway), I just kept a nice slowish pace to get myself warm.
    I caught up to Myles’ lovely wife just after 1km and we ran for a bit until her walk break.
    Then, I was SOLO.
    I picked up my pace a bit and passed a few people.  Stopped for a minute because I picked it up a little more than I should, lol.  Then I decided to find someone that had a decent pace (by feel) and stayed a bit behind them for the next couple of kms.
    I reached the turnaround point feeling good.
    Then I saw the 3km marker and lost it.

    Tears.

    I had the moment I though I would have at the end.  The “HOLY CRAP I AM RUNNING IN AN EVENT” moment.
    3km.
    But crying and running don’t really mix, mostly because you can’t see, so I stopped for a minute, wiped my eyes and kept going.
    The last km has a hill.  BLECH.
    I walked up that hill.
    Because ME.
    And then, the last 500m I put the pedal to medal and came in like a FREAKING GAZELLE:


    SEE HOW HAPPY I AM?!?!?!??!

    Super happy.

    I was lucky to get a photo with my peeps afterward who were there to see my first race in forever!



    Time:  30mins 47secs.

    CRUSHED IT.

    Now, I am attempting to plan out what my 2016 Race Calendar will look like.

    And how to get that 30 mins to 25 or under, lol.

    Look out world.  I’M BACK!!!!


    **Thanks to Paul Wesson Photography for taking the wicked awesome Race pics!

  • I RUN MY FIRST 5K NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My First 5K….

    Man that sounds weird.

    I think my last race was in 2013.

    2013.

    I gimped up in 2014.

    Surgery and recovery for most of 2015.

    Am I ready?

    More than likely.

    Am I confident?

    No.  LOL.

    I wanted my first “race” to be a shorter distance, a fun run.  Something with NO CHIP TIME, lol.  So the BLT 5km Fun Run was the winner 🙂


    I will be in this pod of peeps next Saturday!!



    Will I want to make a good time?  

    Uh, DUH.

    Will it matter?

    Nope, because I will be crying.  Before, possibly during, and most definitely after.

    What matters most?

    The experience.  My first race back in 2 years.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • And Then I Got Sick

    Yes, sick.

    Coming off my BlogJam high I went into work on Monday.
    It came and went with it’s usual routine.

    Then Tuesday.  Tuesday I woke up and felt like a slug.  Dragged my butt into work and made it through the day.

    What time did I get to bed?  8:35pm.
    Like a BOSS.
    Needless to say I was laid out Wednesday and Thursday with sinus pressure and total grossness.  No physical activity was had last week.

    The cats were checking in on me constantly.

    Time to re-evaluate…

    So, because I have a mental illness, there are times that my immune system is not at it’s best.  I mean, depression and anxiety = long term stress.  So the days leading up to my first speaking engagement, they were some super stressful days.  Exciting stress, but stress all the same.
    As I took care of myself those two days I was at home I started to think of my food, hydration, meditation and wondered if I needed something else to bolster my immune system so that I would not be as easy to infect.
    I decided to go back on a multivitamin.   A women’s multivitamin, because let’s face it, I am over 40 😉

    Now I know what some people think.

    You need to sweat that shit out.  Sweat out those germs.
    NO.
    Putting extra stress on my already weakened immune system?  Sorry, not an option.
    I learned a looooooong time ago, when TeenThing was a wee one, that pushing through being sick is not always a good thing.
    When she was just over a year old, I ended up in the hospital for a week.  My body was in shut down mode.  They had no idea what was wrong with me.  To this day, there is still no explanation as to what was wrong.  I was jaundiced, fatigued, and I hurt.  I was in isolation for the first few days.  They took 6 vials of blood every morning.  I saw so many different doctors and they wanted biopsies, yuck (which did not happen – yay).  Finally, I just started to feel better and was able to go home (in a raging snowstorm, but taxis were out and I was NOT staying in there any longer than I had to!).

    Lesson:  My life, my body, my child, are the most important things.  When you are sick, rest dammit. 

     

    And hey, getting better means apple picking baby!

     

    I’ve said it before, self care ROCKS.  Not only mental self care, but physical self care as well.  Being a person is hard these days.  We need to remember that just because the world is going a gazillion km per hour doesn’t mean WE have to keep that pace.
    So if you are sick, take care of yourself.  We have sick days for a reason.  Not using them is not going to win you any brownie points.  Same with exercise/training.  Taking a couple of days to rest is not going to set you back so far that you will suffer any major setback.
    Stay home.
    Get better.
    Then go and kick some ass.

     

     

  • BlogJam 2015, Ativan and How 8 1/2 x 11 Paper is Bad for Speaking Notes

    I Enjoyed Every Minute of BlogJam 2015!!

    Even though I wanted to vomit.  
    And not because I had a bug.
    My day started off early, as I was taking the Public Limo downtown.  This only runs every hour on Sunday.
    Once I arrived at the Ferry Terminal I was able to catch the amazing sunrise over the harbour 🙂

    After which I had to Periscope my Wake Up!
    I was early, so I grabbed my reusable coffee mug at work.  Because environment.
    My anxiety level was at a very low 10%.  Yay.
    On arrival, I was able to see the BlogJam Team in action.  They were awesome! Seeing them pull it all together before registration was kind of calming 😉
    One of my favourite parts.  MAKING MY OWN NAME TAG!!

     

    Sparkly 🙂

    I then fuelled up while I waited for my fellow bloggers to arrive.  I was so lucky to be able to spend the day with some of my favs!!

    Anxiety level was creeping up….like 25%.

    And Then it Began….

    KeyNote Speaker was Vicki Murphy (aka @MotherFumbler) who got the mood set with a down to earth, real, and HILARIOUS welcome.

    (GIRL CRUSH – I LOVE HER.)

    I was then on a mission to learn, all while attempting to silence the looming anti-voice inside my head.

    So off I went to follow the “be real” theme that ran through the 2nd floor of the Marriott Waterfront.
    (Some real:  I was slowly losing my shit.)
    I attended some awesome sessions.  I mean look at this.  It was so hard to chose!

    And then we eat.  You know, not long before MY presentation.

    Lunchtime arrived and every one broke off to eat.  I bought my lunch, so I grabbed my bag filled with chicken ceasar wrap awesomeness and took an Ativan.  Yep.  Medicated myself.
    Anxiety level….reaching 110%.  For real. 
    Luckily, after I scarfed my lunch down, I was able to hide behind Adam Purcell‘s table, where I charged my phone and tried NOT to vomit, while praying to the Ativan God to HURRY UP AND WORK ALREADY.

    I then removed myself from the area.  I could not attend a session before mine.  It was just NOT going to happen.
    I listened to some music and decided I NEEDED TO RUN.

    Yep.

    Took off my boots.


    I love these little boots 🙂

    I ran outside of the main presentation rooms.  For real.

    I did some downward dogs.  

    A few pushups.  

    And took a big deep breath.

    Anxiety level….CODE RED.

    But it was go time.

    And so I did it.

    I stood up in front of people and spoke.


    I had speaking notes, which was a printout of my bullet points.

    I can’t remember what I said, for the life of me, but I remember this:  that paper is big, maybe not in the paper world, but for someone who was killing paperclips by the millisecond, it was the largest paper I had ever seen.

    By this point, even with my friend Ativan, the voice of my mental illness was LOUD inside my head.  I was doubting every word that came out of my mouth.  
    That being said, I hope something got across to the absolutely wonderful folks who came and sat in on my session.  You were a wonderful group of people.  Some who I knew, and some I met that morning.  
    I kind of lost myself near the end, mostly because of THAT PAPER, but I did it.

    I survived the voices in my head.
    Also, I got some AWESOME JAM!!

    This jam ROCKS!

    What Did I Learn?

    BE REAL.  Above all else.

    We all have a voice.  Find it.  Write with it.

    Say yes, no matter what the outcome.

    Group Panel sessions are great to get different perspectives.

    If you get stuck when writing, it’s okay.  We all get stuck.

    Put yourself out there by taking chances.

    Bloggers are awesome people….and I am one of them.

    Thank you BlogJam 2015!  You let me step outside of my comfort zone.  I learned so much!

    See you next year 🙂



    @crazymamaruns