The Midlife Reframe

Category: run

  • That’s All Folks!

    Well, I did it.

    The weather was perfect.  The energy was amazing. I was ready.

    Hydration baby!

    Once I got downtown, I ran into some of my running friends 🙂   We had a chat before they went our for their 10k.

    I went into my training with the A/B/C plan in my head.  A: Go for my best time. B: Go for my best time when I am not my best.  C: Don’t die and finish, lol.

    I went with my Plan B, and decided to hang out with the 2:15 Pace Bunny and see how it went.

    I was concerned, I won’t lie.  Not running the last few weeks of training really had me worried.  Thankfully my PT and RMT told me I would be okay.

    I was okay.

    I felt good.  I met a Twitter bud Shelley while running along Agricola Street.  My body was feeling okay. After the first 5kms I went a little bit ahead of the Pace Bunny, but kept close enough to hear when we would take our walk breaks.  I stayed out front until Point Pleasant Park and “the hill”.  I wanted to walk it, mostly because I know when I hit my wall, and if walking that hill cut into my time, I was willing to save my legs to get me through until the end.

    I caught up with the group on our way out of Point Pleasant and tried to stay with them as much as I could.  Shelley and I met up again and we hung out for a bit until her knee got angry with her and she told me to soldier on.

    I soldiered.  I walked when I needed to.

    I was treated to a dance and a hug by my friend Tab who was out there cheering all the runners on South Park Street 🙂

    I chugged along until I hit the last couple of kms.  I then ran into my Twitter friend Sherry who was volunteering at a water station. She ran with me until the corner of Citadel Hill (thanks girl!).  Then I walked a bit, because this is “almost the end”.   It’s downhill.  Then the slow painful incline of Brunswick Street, lol.

    I hoofed it down Cogswell Street, heard someone yelling my name (later found out who that was – another social media peep, Chantal!), and got down to Brunswick.  I took a short walk break.  Then started running again.

    Not too long before the Finish Line I heard a familiar voice coming up beside me.  Shelley had made it!  We ran across the finish line together 🙂

    Shelley and I heading into the Scotiabank Centre for some TLC (and I had a hankering for chocolate milk!)

    I am lucky to have a good Sherpa Team waiting at the finish line of every race.  My Mom and TeenThing 🙂

    This race, as rough as it was for me the last few kilometres, reminded me why I love to run.

    So very thankful.

    @crazymamaruns

  • Why I Am Retiring the Half Marathon

    Need to find this feeling again.

    So if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you know that I announced that my half marathon on May 21st will be my last half marathon.

    I struggled with this decision through training.  Even though I started out strong, every bump in the road seemed like a mountain.  Running started to become a burden.  The thing I love was becoming something I did not look forward to.

    It had nothing to do with my support team and my friends.  They were the ones who helped me get my butt out the door.  I could not have made it this far in my training without them!

    I place a very high expectation on myself.  When things don’t go as I think they SHOULD have, I can fall into a big black hole of self doubt that is not exactly fun.

    The remainder of my race season is made up of shorter distance races.

    I am in need of a reset.

    During some of my solo training runs I went off the beaten path.  I found that it was in those moments that I felt more at peace.  I enjoyed myself.

    I do believe that the trails are calling.  More time in Mother Nature is required.  I need it.  My soul needs it.  I need to find the joy in running again.

    2018 will be about running for just for me.  No concerns about pace, time, or serious training.  I am going to run for fun.  Find my love of lacing up early in the morning and being outside before the chaos of the day begins.

    So, next weekend I hope to crush this last half marathon and enjoy the remainder of the year which will be filled with a few fun things including: TeenThing’s Prom, Graduation, and Graduation Trip (Hello SCOTLAND!).

    Looking forward to finding the joy.

    @crazymamaruns

    p.s. We will be vlogging Scotland.  So excited!!

     

     

     

     

     

  • Looking Back….Looking Ahead

    Christmas at Mom and Dad's
    Christmas at Mom and Dad’s

    So here we are.

    2016 is slowly coming to a close.

    2017 is on the doorstep, patiently waiting.

    I decided a year or so ago that I would not do resolutions.  It’s just not me.  It sets me up to self sabotage my well thought out plans.

    This month has been hard mentally.  Deciding what to hold onto and what to let go of was a big thing.  Like taking out my mental garbage.  It’s surprising how much we can hold onto.  Some of it drags us down and some lifts us up.  This week I have been trying to take out my mental garbage.  That has not been an easy task.  I’m doing it.  I. Am. Doing. It.

    I am also thinking about the year ahead and what I want to do when it comes to running.  I won my registration to the BlueNose Marathon this year and I will be gearing up for the half marathon again.  My desire is that I finish it in under 2 hours 10 minutes, as that is my current personal best.

    I’d like to do a fall half marathon as well.  This means I REALLY need to train and run smart in 2017.  It also means I have to take care of myself mentally as well.  Not being on top of my illness and letting it take over my body can throw a big wrench into my plans.  Depression can shut your body down.  If you don’t pay attention it will show up as aches, pains and then injury.  Total body shut down means it hurts to move all the time:   getting out of bed, walking down the stairs, breathing, etc.  Not good.

    I have started weight lifting again (as I type this I have some major DOMS going on in my upper body, and the typing struggle is real, hahaha) and will make an effort to schedule in my yoga daily.  I bought new gloves for weights, a yoga strap (I had been using an old scarf), and a block (again, using something other than a block, read:  my travel foam roller) today to keep me in the groove.

    I am hoping that I can keep this train rolling into 2017 and focus on good food as fuel, proper hydration, and a smart plan when it comes to training.

    I will be thoroughly documenting my ups and downs this year.  My trials and tribulations 😉  Weekly posts will give you an idea where my body and brain are, I promise!

    My train derailed early last year, and I plan to keep it on the rails for 2017.

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season so far, and I wish you all the best for the New Year! xo

    @crazymamaruns

     

     

  • Race Recap: Maritime Race Weekend Sunset 5k and Sunrise 5k

    Arrrrrgghhh Matey!

     

    This was my first time running Maritime Race Weekend.
    It did NOT disappoint!
    I registered for the “Tartan Twosome” Challenge, which gave you entry into the Sunset 5k on Friday evening and your choice of race on Saturday (I opted for another 5k as the route is relatively flat).  This would give me an extra medal and some sweet swag!

    Sunset 5k

    So, since I worked on Friday, I hopped on the Ferry and took the Public Limo to Fisherman’s Cove in Eastern Passage which is the backdrop for this Pirate themed weekend 🙂  It consists of small “houses” which have local merchants selling their creations and restaurants to quiet your rumbling belly after walking (or running, lol) around the boardwalk.  It is the Start, and Finish Line for each race.
    I arrived early and checked my bag with a couple of the awesome volunteers. There are so many people that gave their time to make sure everything ran like clockwork.  (A HUGE shout out to all the volunteers who make Maritime Race Weekend happen!)
    Corrals were set up so that you could line up according to your finish time with a spot for the 5k walkers as well.
    There were Pirates everywhere (lots of runners ran in costume) and of course, music to match! 
    When we started out there was some congestion.  I ran with my friend Shannon for the first half, but when we got to the turnaround point, I got tied up in a kerfuffle of people and lost her.  I took a walk break to get back to a spot where I could run without running into anyone, lol.
    The views on this race are amazing.  I wish I had taken out my phone to take some photos, but I had forgotten my Garmin and my phone was my GPS (Strava) so I was trying to NOT look at it, lol.
    Once I got back to Fisherman’s Village and hit the corner before the Finish Line I kicked it into high gear.
    I PB’D MY 5K!!!!
    29:25 was my chip time.  Strava had me at 29:30.
    I was able to RING THE BELL 🙂
    Medal #1 – LOVE IT!

    It’s the PB/First Race Bell!
    Oh yeah I rang that PB Bell!  Eeeee!

    My friend Andrea gave me a lift home.  I had a hot bath, a quick snack and got ready for bed.  I had to race again the next morning!

    Sunrise 5k

    Saturday started at 5am.

    Good Morning Moon!

    In order to get half decent parking I had to leave at 6am.  Coffee, dry toast, gather gear (and yes, I remembered my Garmin, lol) and get out the door.
    It was chilly.  I wore my Badass Mother Runner shirt with a very light jacket.  (Thank you Another Mother Runner Store!)
    I met up with Andrea in the parking area we scoped out the night before as we sat in traffic on the way home, lol.  We hung out and had a quick snack before joining the throng of runners walking down to Fisherman‘s Cove.
    This is THE morning.  5k, 10k, half and full marathon.  We hit the porta potties right away and it was a good thing we did.  That lineup rivaled the corral lineup, lol.  We met up with another RunAtCan Twitter bud (Catherine) and had a little shake out run.
    We corralled and had a mini warm up (both races they had 3rd Degree Training do the warmup for the runners – thanks guys!) and waited for the race to start.
    And not to worry, the Pirates were out in full force on Saturday as well 🙂
    Did I say how beautiful this run is??
    It was congested getting out of the gate and for the first little bit, but we found a “spot” and kept that as much as we could.  Andrea was running the 10k, so we bid each other farewell as I hit the turn around point.   Now I had room to move 😉  I had an issue with my water (it would not slip back into the belt, lol) so I had to walk to get it rectified.
    I was able to wave at Tim on my way back (that is my first picture above, lol) and enjoyed the view as I came back into Fisherman’s Cove.  I kicked it and came in at 30:33!
    The Pirates gave me my second medal and my super awesome challenge medal!

    Yahooooooooooo!  Medals 2 and 3 🙂
    I met up with my friend Jill at the finish line.  She had her PB that morning!!  We are both running the BLT 5k in October (look out world!)

    Super Happy Jill and Amy!
    I got myself a bagel (from Izzy’s Bagels, soooo gooood), some trail mix, and waited for the rest of my friends to run in.  
    (There were quite a few of my RunAtCan and Twitter peeps running, it was great to see some of you!)
    The weather was amazing.  You could not have asked for a better weekend.
    Once “The Gang” made it in and got some food, we went and took the ticket off of our bibs and a got our post race beer!

    Part of The Gang, having beer, lol.
    All in all, this is one race I would definitely recommend for anyone looking to run here in Nova Scotia.  It was well run, the volunteers were amazing, and the atmosphere is fantastic!

    A girl with her Pirate Booty!

     @crazymamaruns
     
     
     
            

  • Weight of the World….

    And Why It Reminds Me to Refocus

    I carry a lot on my shoulders.  Some of it is placed there by me.

    I over think everything, obsessively.

    Not being able to control my environment throws me into a tailspin sometimes.

    So, until I am cleared to run (my ultimate stress reliever), I’ve been walking and packing my gym bag to shake off everything that has been weighing me down.  Also, a heavy rotation of Silva Meditation. 

    The elliptical is kinda like running!

    Like a lot of moms, I place unrealistic expectations on myself.  I am probably my most harshest critic. 

    We carry way too much, and need to give ourselves a break.  We CAN’T do it all.  And we should NOT feel bad about that.

    Being able to workout gives me peace of mind and reminds me that I need to take care of myself!

    Aren’t you sore from just jumping back in?

    Heck ya!  Everything HURTS.  I am jonesing to run, so taking on the elliptical and rowing machine are my replacement…lol.  Hoping to have my strength training plan written up shortly so I can put it into rotation this week.

    Physio?

    It’s going great!  I have started weight bearing exercises with my right leg, so we are making great progress.

    Yoga?

    Soooooooon.  Once I get the “yes, you can REALLY single leg weight bear” from Joel, look out!  LOL.  I really really really miss my hot yoga.

    What’s on tap for this week?

    Work (duh).

    My usual Physio Appointments Tuesday and Thursday.

    The last of the #JustPlankIt challenge.

    This is killing me, but the brownie today helped, lol.

    Gym time, and my walks.

    So, if you are hooked up with MapMyWalk, let me know!  I just started tracking my walks…….yesterday, lol.

    #crazymamaruns



     

  • When Life Throws You Lemons…..

    Well, we all have our ending to this phrase, lol.

    I say throw because the good and bad are not always handed to you.  Sometimes it comes right at you.
    To say the last week has been trying would be correct.
    I won’t sit here and lament or wax poetic.  Mostly because a lot of it is private and I am respecting other people’s privacy.  They all deserve that.

    What the heck does that have to do with lemons and crap?

    Well, struggling with depression on and off for 4 years has really given me insight.  Being off my meds and dealing with ALL THE FEELINGS has been working out okay. Sometimes I follow my own insight.  Sometimes I hide in my fort. 

    But it’s a choice.

    A choice to hide from the world and think about all the crappy things….OR….find what makes you happy and embrace life.  Even the crap.  Because the crap is a lesson.

    A good friend of mine challenged a few of us to write down what we were grateful for this week.  I’ve saved it in my email, because it’s something I want to add to and when I look at it I remember that my life isn’t so sucky as I sometimes think.

    It has, this week anyway, put things into perspective for me.

    I know what motivates me, and what doesn’t.

    With this knowledge I am beginning this week anew.

    Building a better, faster, stronger Amy.

    (A small snippet from my list:

    Water.

    Watermelon.

    Kites.

    Skates.

    Sneakers.

    Lululemon….lol.

    Running skirts.

    My depression and anxiety – because I am forced to take a step back and focus.)

    What will this entail Amy??

    Well, I am looking into purchasing a bike.  Not being cleared to run yet (BUT, I have been cleared to run in the Fall – Booya!) I am looking for something challenging that will get me outside.  Don’t get me wrong, I love walking.  I just need something different.
    Also, much core and upper body work (don’t worry, I will not cancel leg day, haha) to carry me through when my legs are thinking about giving up during my races next year.


    This is a “start again” moment, and I am taking advantage of it.

    What will we be seeing?

    More insightful posts (hopefully! lol), related to my new journey.

    Encouragement, support, some high fives, and lots of funny.

    Because what’s life without funny!

    So come along, ask questions, and join in on the conversation 🙂

    #crazymamaruns

     

  • Being a Mom with Mental Illness – The Short Story

    I know I’ve written about my mental llness before….

    But I haven’t really written how it’s changed me as a Mom.

    That’s important, because I am raising a teenage human.

    Here we are – you can barely see us, lol

    Since it is just V and I, she is on the front lines with me.  She endures my good days and my bad.  She is there when I break down and can’t stop crying.

    I hate that she has to see me that way.

    I hate that she feels that she has to take care of me when I do melt down.

    I hate that she sometimes doesn’t know what to do.

    Mini Background Moment:

    When I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, I was put off of work.  I told V at the time that Mommy was very very tired and that her doctor told her she needed lots of rest (which was partially true, depression sucks everything out of you).

    Once the summer was over and I was able to function on a daily basis, I told her about my mental illness while at my parents for supper.

    She had a lot of questions.  But I must have done something right in the years before, because she took it like a champ.  She still comes to me with questions, and we talk about things openly.

    How does this work now???

    Well, I think that having Clinical Depression and anxiety has made me more aware.

    I look after myself a little better than I did before (besides my klutzy accidents!).

    But on the same hand, there are times I feel like I have a parenting defect.  

    One of the symptoms of depression is being tired.  Not just regular tired, but tired to the point of even moving is a herculean task.

    There are nights that I shut down, when I should be talking with her, being more engaged, but I just can’t.  And I feel awful for it.

    There are also feeling of extreme irritation.  Angry outbursts.  I’m like a landmine some days.

    With surgery looming before me, my depression and anxiety seem to be ramping up.

    I catch myself getting snappy.  Being short.  Going back on some of my decisions.  Just not wanting to move (hence #ProjectAmy and #FightForHappy – blog update on Sunday!)

    It’s a daily struggle lately.

    My to do list most days will look like this:

    Even though I look like this:

    Because depression doesn’t look sad.

    We hide it very well.

    But I do my best.  

    Because as a parent, that’s all we can do.  

    I use my support system when I can.

    And some days, V is my support system.

    We are a team.

    The more team members you have, the better your days get.

    So go…..gather up your team.

    You’re worth it.

    #crazymamaruns