Tag: run

  • My Life as a Single Mom: The Mom Brain

    A Mom and her TeenThing

    I can probably get a shirt that says “Permanent Mom Brain”.

    Working, raising a child, avoiding the rabbit hole of depression, and trying to fit in my running/fitness takes up most of my time.  The blog has suffered a little bit lately because of this juggling act.

    I have had many ideas for posts.  I have sat down to write a draft so I could have it saved and get back to it.  DISTRACTION.  No writing.

    Let’s be real, this applies to my life in general.  I have, over the years, gone from one room to the other with full intention of “doing the thing”.  Insert phone call, child, other random thought, on my way to the other room.  I’ve lost the whole “doing the thing”.

    Why was I walking into this room?

    What was so important that I had to come here?

    What’s my name?

    WHO AM I ANYWAY?

    You’d think keeping physically active would magically sort everything out.

    NO.

    I can think I have my shit sorted out on a run.  All of life’s problems are solved (hahahaha) during this time by myself.

    I’ll get home and forget about 80% of my solutions.

    (This is so much worse on my “bad days”.  On those days, I am just happy I remember to put on pants.)

    Then people say “put it in your phone”.

    I’ve tried, but the red circles distract me and I automatically check out my notifications.

    GOLDFISH.

    I’m pretty sure it has gotten worse over the past few years (thank you hormones).

    I even went and bought paper agendas.  I have an agenda for regular life, and one for my running life.

    I was like:  “Hell Yeah!  Look out world I am coming for you!!  Take that Mom Brain!”

    But let’s be honest, I still can’t remember to write half of my shit down.

    So, I’ll just continue to wander through my life, content in knowing that at some point, I’ll know why I went into the other room AND what I am going to do there.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • When Overthinking Seeps Into The Run

    Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

    So for those of you who have been keeping up with me on social media know, I have been plagued with cranky calves.  If you aren’t following me on social media:  I am plagued with crank calves, lol.

    Ever since my knee surgery in 2015, I have been pushing with my calves to run.  I am pretty sure this is because I was afraid that I would break off more dead pieces of femur, would be back in the same spot, and require more surgery.

    I have been at physio getting myself looked after (yay dry needling!) and working on strength training to get my quads, hammies and glutes to activate.  I am also working on my balance and core work.

    Bosu!!

    My last long run was good.  Things are activating.  My butt and upper legs are SORE (not the bad sore, but the “heyyyyy, we are working here” kind of sore that I haven’t felt in a while) and I was happy with what I could pull off after not really pounding out the kms the week prior.

    My problem now:  I am overthinking how I am running.

    Seriously overthinking.

    I ran 4kms in the evening after my lunchtime physio and all I could do was think “Are my glutes activating?”  “My calves are sore, but I had dry needling, so is it that or did I screw them up again?” “Keep using the upper legs.”  “You probably look weird” “You should be in the Fitness Centre doing leg work” “WHY CAN’T I JUST RUN LIKE I USED TO!?”.

    Needless to say, I got the run done, but it was noisy.

    Sometimes I wish I had a switch to turn off my brain.

    My goal is to do the remaining runs this week and not think about it.  Try to enjoy the run, and remember why I love it:  the endorphins, the sweat, the joy.

    It’s a big request for my brain.  Hoping it can step up to the challenge.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Running and the Seesaw of Depression

    See this girl here?  This is a happy runner.

    Sun, snow, and a happy 5k.
    Sun, snow, and a happy 5k.

    I am not always like this when I run.  Some of my solo runs are hard sloggy messes.  This is where running becomes more than a physical game.  Mentally a hard run is rough for any runner.  For me a hard run feels like complete failure and no matter what I tell myself, I agree with the voice that is whispering in my ear.   Lanni Marchant herself could sit beside me and say “It’s just one run”.  I still hear the voice.  The one that says “Why bother, you suck”.

    If I don’t get enough sleep, any run can turn into a soul sucking event.  This is why I love my sleep.  It is one of the most important parts of my half marathon training.  It is a big help mentally as well.

    I cherish my good runs.  A LOT.  These make my sloggy messes melt away and I am charged for my next run.  If I am having a good stretch of happies then I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and live to run another day.  🙂

    But if my next run is not so good, and I am not at my best, the seesaw stops being a regular flow and I crash to the ground.

    The equation varies, which creates so many possible outcomes.   I struggle with this every time I train.

    Sunshine can make a bad run not so bad.
    Sunshine can make a bad run not so bad when I am feeling okay.

    When I have a couple of sloggy messes that I need to remember that: #1 I am a human being, #2 I am not getting paid to do this, #3 That means it is not the end of my running, #4 Everyone has bad runs, even elite athletes, and #5 I am lucky to be able to lace up and do something I love.

    Running doesn’t always lift me to where I want to be, but it is something that I love to do.  Giving out big sweaty hugs post run can be quite enjoyable 😉

    Running bonus:  Long run celebratory treats 🙂

    My fav:  Coffee and Chocolate Croissant!
    My fav: Coffee and Chocolate Croissant!

    Keep fighting for happy my friends, even on your darker days.

    @crazymamaruns