The Midlife Reframe

Tag: perimenopause

  • And Shift…

    Here we are again.

    Rumination, second guessing everything, answering work related emails at midnight (when I didn’t have to).

    Once I answered that email at midnight (which arrived way earlier than that), I knew it was time to call my doctor.

    I set up a phone call, and we talked about my HRT and antidepressants.

    It was decided that since there was room to move up on my antidepressants, we would go this route.

    Tomorrow I start the new dose.

    I’m hopeful this will work.

    Perimenopause is doing me dirty and I am not a fan.

    One thing I am grateful for is all the work I put in through therapy over the past few years to recognize when I hit my wall BEFORE it crumbles.

    I’m not one to suffer in silence anymore. If I need help, I ask.

    With the Fall ramping up and year end on its heels, I want to keep myself healthy mentally.

    To help me physically, I need regular movement again. I have a bike (and it is a workout let me tell ya), taking marine collagen, and starting to consider yoga again.

    Feeling like I am falling apart is no good, so one step at a time.

    I have a follow up in two months.

    As women, we really need to be louder about this stage of our life – and I am glad to see more of us out there speaking our truth.

    Stay strong, we got this.

  • And On That Note…

    This photo has nothing to do with this post. Yacht is my father’s new service dog, and we are all very happy he is now part of the family.

    I’m awake when I should be asleep. Nothing out of the ordinary in this world of perimenopause – just extremely aggravating when a couple of hours ago I came to bed because of how exhausted I was.

    Things are good, and I have nothing that is keeping me from going to sleep (well, that I know of).

    I have settled into my role and stepping into projects.

    Diving back into legal tech, and exploring all the options and possibilities.

    I take my ingestion of news in pieces, because if I don’t it robs me of the small joys.

    I bought a bike, and plan on getting back out there after I get a helmet and water bottle holder (I bought my fiance and I new bike bells for the trails).

    I’m finally in a place where I am comfortable with the skin I am in.

    Yet, as I yawn while writing this post…sleep eludes me.

    So, I think I will make myself a cup of tea and pick up a book, in the hopes that I will be able to put my head down soon and rest.

    I have so much more to write, I just need get my thoughts sorted.

    See you soon.

  • And then…..

    Here I am, hoping that I am on the path to burnout recovery.

    I’m getting some energy back, and I don’t want to hide from everyone all the time (only about 85% of the time, lol).

    I’m still on hormone replacement therapy…pills and gel because the patch is not available and always on back order. I am certain that this has been holding me together.

    I have fully embraced my “fuck it” era. I say what needs to said now.

    Therapy helps, a lot.

    I’m also planning for an event for next fall, and this is sparking up my creative brain. I am a planner, so diving into something has been refreshing.

    Vacation is coming up soon. I see beach time in my future and I’ve booked an overnight in a glamping dome.

    I’m using those two weeks to recharge and recover.

    A lot of things are changing, and most of them are for the good.

    This is a short and sweet check in.

    I’m currently on my balcony relaxing, and I hope you are finding the time to unwind and breathe.

    Until next time!

  • Another Week

    This week was a bit of an up and down event.

    I’m finding that I am getting my energy back, and I’m able to handle my days better.

    Keeping my boundaries at work is making a difference.

    Taking care of myself, and getting the rest I need is also helping.

    It’s Mother’s Day, and sunny. I have always known how the weather affects my mood, and I am thankful that after the grey and rainy day yesterday I am able to enjoy a boost in mood.

    Also, summer vacation will be something to look forward to. Will need to plan that out soon, so I can get it in my work calendar and have a much needed break with my peeps!

    I hope that this increase in energy is the turning point in my burnout.

    I’m beginning to take other steps to safeguard my mental health, and moving forward is a big step.

    Increasing my learning, planning hikes, and giving myself permission to put myself first are some of the first steps once I am back at 100%.

    Let’s see how this week goes!

  • Week 5: Adjustment

    I’ve been going through some tough times.

    When will they end? Not sure.

    I can say this, between my Pristiq and the Estalis, it’s kept me kind of stable. But it’s not a solution to the situation.

    Did I have a meltdown this week? 100% I did.

    Here’s the thing though: being medicated does NOT mean I can tolerate more. It keeps me at a baseline.

    The fact that I have gotten to the point where I have been broken, means it’s time to readjust my priorities.

    The clarity I have been given by the Estalis is helping. I’m not getting bogged down with brain fog, so talking things out has been helpful.

    Being brutally honest about things is my new avenue. No longer hiding when things are 1) not right, and 2) when I am not doing well.

    Hiding is no longer an option.

    (On a totally hormonal note: I had a 24 day cycle. I’m not thrilled, especially after my last two longer ones. Not sure if it is just peri or my body adjusting. Time will tell I guess… and the doc said it could take 3 months to fully adjust.)

    What will the week ahead bring?? Who knows.

    But I know this: I won’t be hiding.

  • WEEK 3 & 4: I HAVE ENERGY

    And it’s amazing.

    Getting more mental clarity. Remembering more things.

    Although when I started to write this post, I started to get a head cold. Then work went sideways.

    This past week felt like 3 months.

    When I got home Friday, I was spent.

    BUT dealing with all the things coming at me was more manageable. I screwed up a couple of things, but things still went forward.

    I didn’t break down, my anxiety was pretty tame, and the stress didn’t consume my every moment.

    Certain sounds no longer move me to want to stab my eyes out.

    My ears are no longer super itchy.

    I did have a period, and still tracking those. My last one was 66 days from my last one.

    I am still on my Antidepressant, and it is working well.

    I’ve been trimming my social media. I am looking to keep connections with those I want. With the world in the state it’s in, I know who I want to keep close.

    This curb the skin chewing around my nails, I have been getting gel nails. I found a great spot and I am no longer ingesting skin (ewww) at an alarming rate.

    Sleep is getting better, with only the odd night where I am awake off and on…night sweats ate minimal.

    Hot flashes…not many.

    Things seem to be going well, and I am looking forward to the months ahead into Spring and Summer.

    See you next week!!