The Midlife Reframe

Tag: medication

  • A Booster for My Brain

    Today was my six week check in with my doc to see where my anxiety was at.

    We sat down and talked about how things were, and how the additional methods I have been using to keep my anxiety under control have not been working like they have in the past. My depression has gotten better, and I am able to navigate my days with more clarity.

    So, here’s the deal:

    I have been chewing the skin around my fingernails to the point where I have caused myself to bleed. The only thing that keeps that at bay is work (kind of, lol) and crocheting.

    I also talked about my itching. When my anxiety starts to get bad, I become extremely itchy and cannot stop scratching. When it first started, I though it was because of the extremely humid summer we were having, but it wasn’t consistent with the weather.

    I have (unfortunately) started taking random comments personally. Things that really (on a “normal” day) would not bother me, do, and I feel the need to react without taking a step back.

    Since things were not where we were hoping them to be, we discussed a booster for my Cipralex.

    Starting tomorrow, I start taking the lowest dose of Abilify.

    I am hoping for little to no side effects, but I am fully prepared either way.

    It should take a full two weeks for the Abilify to make a full impact on my brain.

    I go back for another doc visit in six weeks.

    Through all of this, my return to physical activity has been a rough go, so I am taking things easy and making a plan this weekend to start a regular schedule of exercise.

    That is where things sit now.

    I’ll continue to keep moving forward.

    Happy that my toolbox has expanded, and trying to keep positive that my brain will cooperate 🙂

    @crazymamaruns

  • Is It Getting Easier?

    I can’t say it’s getting “easier”.

    Getting out of bed isn’t a struggle.

    I am starting to be more involved in the things I enjoy doing.

    I don’t feel as hopeless.

    I am still having issues with my anxiety.

    I had to buy a pill organizer thingie so I could look at it and see that I have taken my pill…10 minutes after I have taken it, because I can’t remember if I did take it, even though my watch reminds me to take it.

    So easier? No.

    Better? Yes.

    (I am still amazingly weird, so I have that going for me, lol.)

    I can talk to TeenThing now about how she is feeling and what she is struggling with, without feeling like I gave this to her.

    I had struggled with that for so long. Feeling like I was responsible for her mental illness.

    Photo thanks to Vicki Penny Photography

    Being medicated has given me some clarity when it comes to how I was not being present in my life, which means I was not present in hers.

    I am able to recognize that now, and I can manage things better without falling down the rabbit hole. I can face it without beating myself up and running away.

    I guess I can explain it like this: It’s a bubble wrap thing. I wrap myself up and take the hits, thinking I’ve given myself the correct armour, when all I’ve done is soften the blow a little bit.

    So, I guess the meds are my armour.

    I will still get dents, but I am better prepared for battle.

    @crazymamaruns