The Midlife Reframe

Category: Halifax

  • Sundays and Random Things

    Over the past few years my interest in reading has been spotty, as well as my interest in crochet.

    I’m starting to get that interest back, and I am not forcing things.

    Sunday mornings will be for reading, as it is a nice slow start to the day as the work week looms ahead.

    Depression is a funny thing. I no longer fight it. I have been riding the wave, especially with perimenopause.

    HRT has definitely made things manageable. It has been a godsend.

    The psoriasis on the outside of my ears has moved inside, which has made me want to tear the inside out. I have been putting my Dovabet in there and it has been helping.

    The HRT has more or less stopped my hot hot flashes and night sweats. Win!

    We are growing tomatoes on the balcony, along with some blueberries. This is helping with my depression as well, looking after something that will produce food!

    It has been hard doing that this year, as well are having extremely dry conditions. I have been using bottled water to keep them going.

    Thinking about planting some herbs next year.

    Not wishing away the summer, but I am looking forward to the fall. It is my favourite season.

    For now, I will continue to hope that we get some rain and enjoy the rest of the summer.

  • Good Bye July

    July was busy.

    But, July also gave me some downtime.

    I have had two weeks of vacation, which were sorely needed.

    My first week was a complete wind down.

    I took my peeps out to Peggy’s Cove to at least get off the balcony for one day….

    One of the views from Peggy’s Cove Lighthouse

    My daughter and I got matching tattoos. Ponyo!

    Astrid does amazing work!!

    We headed to the beach on the second week…temps in the city were close to 30 celsius and there was humidity, which meant melting on the balcony was not an option!

    Hubbards Beach
    Catching some rays

    Back in June, I was able to snag a reservation for a glamping dome down in the Annapolis Valley. What a quiet, relaxing little spot. We grabbed some food from The Noodle Guy (delish) and some local wine from Luckett Vineyards.

    You can almost drive by….so take it slow
    We hung out while waiting for our order
    Luckett Vineyards are absolutely beautiful….I picked up a bottle of Tidal Bay and a couple of spritzers

    Valley Sky is a MUST, and we are already planning a fall visit. Check it out!

    I added a charcuterie board to our stay. Local eats!
    And I turned the temperature down for a soak in the hot tub! (It was 38 celsius with the humidity, blargh!)

    We stayed in the Tidal Dome. The bed was super cozy, the lounge chairs with ottomans were soooo comfortable, and all the amenities made for a great stay. I was kind of sad when we had to pack up the next morning!!

    So serene, and so many birds to listen to!
    My first cup of the day…

    On the way home, we popped into Just Us Coffee for some fuel….and I needed a latte, haha.

    Vanilla Latte…. Deeeeelicious

    Now I am turning the corner to start getting ready for Back To Work on Tuesday (Monday is the Natal Day Holiday here).

    While I am sad to be coming to the end of my vacation, I had some good times. I got a lot of rest.

    And, I think I’m ready to get back at it.

    Until next time!

    Stay Cool Cheesebags!

  • It’s Going…..

    Not really sure how it’s going, but it’s going.

    It’s been a roller coaster ride these past couple of months.

    I can report that my kiddo has found a psychologist that she is starting to work with, and that has taken a load off my shoulders. Her medication has been adjusted to a level that is working for her right now.

    We are slowly cleaning out the clutter in our apartment and making it the cozy haven we would like it to be. This included getting rid of the demon couch from Wayfair and getting a new couch which suits us much better and doesn’t make creaking noises every time we sit down (and make us wonder if it would continue to hold our weight).

    I lost a good friend to cancer last month, and that really spun me around. It was fast moving, and she was only 48 years old. It still seems so surreal.

    As always, a death makes you rethink your priorities. Usually, it’s for a short period of time and then things go back to the way they were. This one hit different. This one really makes me sit back and take stock in my life. I have a letterboard in my office that says, “Remember What Is Important”. Every time I get caught up in something, I look at it and remember what IS important.

    I am slowly shifting back to regular working hours and making sure I take time for me. This is making a difference in my daily outlook, and I am not so frigging tired all the time. It’s also making a big difference in my mental health as well.

    Losing track of priorities and boundaries really takes a toll on me. Remembering the human in me reminds me to take a step back.

    Stop.

    Breathe.

    Start again.

    A pause is always good, and a deep breath to go along with it is even better.

    It’s time to hit the reset button.

    Time to start fresh, and clean out the cobwebs.

  • Running as a Mentor

    This year, I applied to be a Team Myles Mentor (Blue Nose Marathon). After my amazing experience with the Team late last year as an Ambassador, and a nudge from one of the previous mentors, I decided to share my love of Team Myles and running with others.

    The Ambassadors apply and can run the 5k and/or the 10k with Team Myles. In the end, we are all training for the 10k, and some folks have already run that distance in their training program!

    Watching this group of Ambassadors (some who have never run before) show up every day, for themselves and for their teammates, has really filled a hole for me. It is inspiring to say the least, and to see the smiles as everyone completes their long runs and hills training.

    Yes, there are the moments where they think they won’t be able to do it, but they do. A gentle reminder that it’s their race at their pace and they are back at it. The cheers from their teammates give them that extra boost as well.

    We have some amazing coaches that warm us up, and cool us down. Their program is slow and steady. So many Ambassadors have surprised themselves with what they have accomplished so far.

    To be able to support the Ambassadors has been so rewarding. I can’t even put into words how I feel to see them progress every week. Not only am I supporting them, but they are supporting me.

    We just started week 7 of training. The race is the long weekend in May.

    These Ambassadors have it in the bag.

    I am so proud of each and every one.

    Love my GangGreen.

    Love Team Myles.

    Love being a Mentor.

  • Team Myles Ambassador

    I’m a Team Myles Ambassador for 2021!

    I am very excited for this opportunity, because I had fallen off of the consistency wagon when it came to running. My mental health was suffering as a result.

    When I saw the moment applications were open, I jumped on it, not knowing if it would be accepted. Hoping that I would because I needed the running community once again.

    Team Myles 2021

    Much to my surprise, by mid-August, I received the email that I was in! I was so happy and excited to be a part of an amazing group of people working towards the same goal.

    We are all split into pods, and each pod is assigned a Mentor. We still have to come up with a pod name, but I have a great pod of peeps to keep me motivated!

    My Team Myles Pod!

    We started our training on a Tuesday evening at Citadel Hill here in Halifax. We had a meet and greet, with some great speakers, we warmed up and started our first training session. We ran intervals up and down Citadel Hill.

    I was proud (and surprised) that I was able to do the intervals and didn’t die, lol.

    Everyone can move at their pace, which is great. We all motivate and support each other.

    Our Saturday morning training is held in Point Pleasant Park. This is where we do our “long runs”. Such a beautiful spot. Our first run was 20mins today 1:1 intervals. I felt great afterwards!!

    I (and my brain) are excited to be starting this journey. I need to get back into a routine, and this is guiding me back into it.

    Come along with me and Team Myles here on the blog!! I’ll be sharing the good and the bad (because we know my brain won’t cooperate all of the time), and all the fun I’m going to have.

  • Bluenose 15k

    I received a fantastic pep talk close to the end of my 15km race on June 9th.

    It reminded me that even though I thought I had given up, that I could push through that last little bit and cross the finish line.

    Running is a coping skill for me. I can hash things out on a run, or sometimes I hash nothing out and run to forget.

    This run, this run is where I worked some shit out.

    This run was hot.

    This run was hard.

    This run was full of soul searching and forgiveness.

    This run reminded me of what I am capable of. That I am not weak. That I am stronger than I think, physically and mentally.

    I forget that when my depression is trying to sink it’s teeth in.

    I forgave myself for a lot on this run. I forgave a lot of things (and people) on this run.

    When I crossed that finish line, I felt less heavy.

    My legs were screaming, and I was nauseous, but lighter.

    Being kind to yourself is hard.

    Forgiving yourself is hard.

    Remembering that you come first is hard.

    Taking time for yourself is not selfish, it is an investment in your well being.

    YOU are worth the effort.

    Become lighter.

    Become YOU.

    (P.S. Now, this will be so very hard to remember when my depression is bad. Hopefully I can come back to this post and get something small out of it when I need to, and I hope you can too.)

  • It’s Okay to Just Survive

    Hello January

    This time of year can be rough.

    Everyone is talking about their resolutions.

    Commercials on TV are trying to sell you a new life:  weight loss, gym memberships, etc.

    This does start well before the holiday season, and can be overwhelming as shit.

    I’ve done the resolution thing, and I’ve also done the intentions thing.  This year I am just continuing on with my journey.  A year of finding myself, reminding my body that it can do amazing things, and not crapping on myself every day, lol.

    It’s been weird not going into the start of year not training for a half marathon.  I’m full of restless energy, but yet super tired at the same time.

    With everyone around me on social media ploughing into the new year with training plans and mega runs, it is a struggle to not beat myself up if I don’t get in a run, or the gym, or a walk.   I’ve decided I am going to try and NOT make myself feel bad for not going out of the gate with any type of training plan (run or gym) as it is not in my best interest mentally.  I have just gotten back to WANTING to lace up,  and my calves are still a tad cranky.  Working on my glutes has made quite a difference, but there is still some work to do.

    I know, a lot of folks think that daily physical fitness is the best solution for mental illness.  Yes, it helps, but it isn’t the only solution.  Mental illness is complicated.

    Besides, this time of year is hard enough for me.  I honestly just want to curl up and hibernate.  Trying to embrace the winter is a challenge, but I am working on it.

    One way to embrace the colder weather:  I can skate outside.  There is a marsh up the road from me, so I went for a little spin the other day.  I had the spot to myself and had a great time. [MEGA BONUS: Today my calves are very happy, so this is something I am planning to enjoy more of this year.]

    Belchers Marsh. Skating with chairs and a tire, lol

    I am also trying to remind myself to breathe each day.  To take even one minute to just sit and pause (well, my watch reminds to do this, lol).

    So if you didn’t hop on the resolution train like me, don’t be concerned.  Continuing on your journey, your way, is what is important.

    Realistically, my moment in the journey is here:  I am just trying to survive right now, and that’s okay.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Running – For Me


    My last “official” race of 2017 was the Valley Harvest 5k.

    It was a warm day.  I had a head cold.  I managed 30 minutes and I was happy 😃

    I chose Valley Harvest because of the beautiful scenery in Wolfville…..and the blanket.


    Taking all expectation off of myself has given me back some of the joy I was missing when I ran.  The shorter distances have been a blessing as well.  My body was hungry for a break.

    Last weekend was a fun run to support Feed Nova Scotia at the Canada Games Centre.  It was a beautiful day, and a great turnout.

    I ran with a couple of my running peeps from the neighbourhood and we had a great run!  Plus, there was pie, Starbucks, and Booster Juice at the end 🙂

    I’ve run a couple of days this week during my lunch hour, and I felt great.  It’s bringing me back to the start.  My lunch runs are 3k and it’s the perfect distance.  I can get away from my desk, get the rush, and burn off some steam.


    I am finding my balance.

    Finding the joy.

    Running for me.

    @crazymamaruns

  • It’s My “Anniversary”!!! Sort of……

     

    So here we are.

    June.

    My mental illness and I have our official 6th year anniversary together.

    I choose to remember my descent down the rabbit hole for many reasons.  One being:  I have learned so much.  Knowing (finally) what/why/how my brain works has been monumental in so many ways.

    I know when I shut down, and why (even though I may not be able to control when this happens).

    I know my limits.

    I know when to say no.

    I value my life more now than I did 6 years ago.

    It took me a while to feel “comfortable” saying “I have Depression/Anxiety”.  You need to be in that space to put it out there.  I have no problem sharing my experiences.   Some people are not okay with sharing their experience, and that is their choice.  I respect everyone’s choice, because everyone experiences this illness differently.  I also know that listening to others with mental illness is more important than saying “Well you should…..”.  Because that does not help.  At all.  Shut down.

    Every person experiences this illness differently.  Copes with it differently.  Thinks (or overthinks) about it differently.

    The thing is, those of us that suffer, we are all in it together and knowing that we can share our feelings, even if it just with each other is in itself a great comfort.

    This year, my “anniversary” will be different than in years past.

    My daughter (TeenThing) graduates this month.  Another shift in my time/space continuum.  Our dynamic will change again.  I have been mulling this over in my  head, probably more than I should, and even though  I am celebrating this, at the same time it’s extremely bittersweet. I remember her first day of school vividly.

    I have hopefully raised her right, lol 😉  She’s strong and stubborn like her Mama, so I think she’ll be okay.  She will be taking a year off to work before she solidifies her plans for the future.

    I am very glad I started planning the Grad Trip to Scotland with her in Grade 11.  It is giving us something to look forward to after all the chaos of this year 🙂

    So, “Happy Anniversary” to Me!

    I look forward to learning more about myself as things change over the next year or so.

    One thing that won’t change:  Running 😉

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • That’s All Folks!

    Well, I did it.

    The weather was perfect.  The energy was amazing. I was ready.

    Hydration baby!

    Once I got downtown, I ran into some of my running friends 🙂   We had a chat before they went our for their 10k.

    I went into my training with the A/B/C plan in my head.  A: Go for my best time. B: Go for my best time when I am not my best.  C: Don’t die and finish, lol.

    I went with my Plan B, and decided to hang out with the 2:15 Pace Bunny and see how it went.

    I was concerned, I won’t lie.  Not running the last few weeks of training really had me worried.  Thankfully my PT and RMT told me I would be okay.

    I was okay.

    I felt good.  I met a Twitter bud Shelley while running along Agricola Street.  My body was feeling okay. After the first 5kms I went a little bit ahead of the Pace Bunny, but kept close enough to hear when we would take our walk breaks.  I stayed out front until Point Pleasant Park and “the hill”.  I wanted to walk it, mostly because I know when I hit my wall, and if walking that hill cut into my time, I was willing to save my legs to get me through until the end.

    I caught up with the group on our way out of Point Pleasant and tried to stay with them as much as I could.  Shelley and I met up again and we hung out for a bit until her knee got angry with her and she told me to soldier on.

    I soldiered.  I walked when I needed to.

    I was treated to a dance and a hug by my friend Tab who was out there cheering all the runners on South Park Street 🙂

    I chugged along until I hit the last couple of kms.  I then ran into my Twitter friend Sherry who was volunteering at a water station. She ran with me until the corner of Citadel Hill (thanks girl!).  Then I walked a bit, because this is “almost the end”.   It’s downhill.  Then the slow painful incline of Brunswick Street, lol.

    I hoofed it down Cogswell Street, heard someone yelling my name (later found out who that was – another social media peep, Chantal!), and got down to Brunswick.  I took a short walk break.  Then started running again.

    Not too long before the Finish Line I heard a familiar voice coming up beside me.  Shelley had made it!  We ran across the finish line together 🙂

    Shelley and I heading into the Scotiabank Centre for some TLC (and I had a hankering for chocolate milk!)

    I am lucky to have a good Sherpa Team waiting at the finish line of every race.  My Mom and TeenThing 🙂

    This race, as rough as it was for me the last few kilometres, reminded me why I love to run.

    So very thankful.

    @crazymamaruns