Public speaking has never been my strong suit. I still remember the quarterly presentations in junior high French class — the anxiety started the night before and didn’t let up while I was up there. I was so tense I couldn’t even tell you afterward what I’d said.
That fear followed me into adulthood. I still get anxious as hell before any talk. And yet, over the years I’ve done two speaking engagements on mental health at conferences here in Halifax. I thought I’d fumbled both times, but people told me otherwise. Hearing that I’d actually connected with the audience made me feel less like a hot mess and more like someone who could get a point across.
Getting older didn’t magically make it easier. What didn’t change was how hard it was to have difficult one‑on‑one conversations. My default was to deflect, which is not great when you’re in a leadership role. I’d freeze, avoid the hard lines, and hope the problem would sort itself out.
The hardest day of my career came when I had to have several very difficult conversations. I tossed and turned the night before, running through every possible scenario. Then a thought hit me: prepare for the conversation like it’s a speech. Line up your points, speak with clarity, and imagine you’re addressing more than one person.
Framing those talks as a speaking engagement changed everything. Instead of talking at someone, I showed up ready to deliver a clear message and then sit and listen. I kept my composure, took in what was said, and stayed present. Afterwards I was able to debrief with upper management and move forward.
If you struggle with both public speaking and hard conversations, try this: prepare your points as if you’re stepping up to a podium. It doesn’t make the conversation fun, but it gives you structure, confidence, and the space to actually hear the other person.
The Midlife Reframe 