The Midlife Reframe

Tag: East Coast

  • Running – For Me


    My last “official” race of 2017 was the Valley Harvest 5k.

    It was a warm day.  I had a head cold.  I managed 30 minutes and I was happy 😃

    I chose Valley Harvest because of the beautiful scenery in Wolfville…..and the blanket.


    Taking all expectation off of myself has given me back some of the joy I was missing when I ran.  The shorter distances have been a blessing as well.  My body was hungry for a break.

    Last weekend was a fun run to support Feed Nova Scotia at the Canada Games Centre.  It was a beautiful day, and a great turnout.

    I ran with a couple of my running peeps from the neighbourhood and we had a great run!  Plus, there was pie, Starbucks, and Booster Juice at the end 🙂

    I’ve run a couple of days this week during my lunch hour, and I felt great.  It’s bringing me back to the start.  My lunch runs are 3k and it’s the perfect distance.  I can get away from my desk, get the rush, and burn off some steam.


    I am finding my balance.

    Finding the joy.

    Running for me.

    @crazymamaruns

  • It’s My “Anniversary”!!! Sort of……

     

    So here we are.

    June.

    My mental illness and I have our official 6th year anniversary together.

    I choose to remember my descent down the rabbit hole for many reasons.  One being:  I have learned so much.  Knowing (finally) what/why/how my brain works has been monumental in so many ways.

    I know when I shut down, and why (even though I may not be able to control when this happens).

    I know my limits.

    I know when to say no.

    I value my life more now than I did 6 years ago.

    It took me a while to feel “comfortable” saying “I have Depression/Anxiety”.  You need to be in that space to put it out there.  I have no problem sharing my experiences.   Some people are not okay with sharing their experience, and that is their choice.  I respect everyone’s choice, because everyone experiences this illness differently.  I also know that listening to others with mental illness is more important than saying “Well you should…..”.  Because that does not help.  At all.  Shut down.

    Every person experiences this illness differently.  Copes with it differently.  Thinks (or overthinks) about it differently.

    The thing is, those of us that suffer, we are all in it together and knowing that we can share our feelings, even if it just with each other is in itself a great comfort.

    This year, my “anniversary” will be different than in years past.

    My daughter (TeenThing) graduates this month.  Another shift in my time/space continuum.  Our dynamic will change again.  I have been mulling this over in my  head, probably more than I should, and even though  I am celebrating this, at the same time it’s extremely bittersweet. I remember her first day of school vividly.

    I have hopefully raised her right, lol 😉  She’s strong and stubborn like her Mama, so I think she’ll be okay.  She will be taking a year off to work before she solidifies her plans for the future.

    I am very glad I started planning the Grad Trip to Scotland with her in Grade 11.  It is giving us something to look forward to after all the chaos of this year 🙂

    So, “Happy Anniversary” to Me!

    I look forward to learning more about myself as things change over the next year or so.

    One thing that won’t change:  Running 😉

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • I’m Deficient

    Vitamin D3 deficiency.

    Never thought I would hear that as a result from my blood work.

    Google Search Image

    I didn’t have the insomnia issue, quite the opposite in fact.  I have been experiencing hair loss, but I have psoriasis on my scalp (and more recently in my ears), so I am used to some hair loss.  I have depression, but I didn’t feel hopeless or feel like I WANTED to stay in bed all day.  I was just SO TIRED.  Sleeping for 10 hours was doing nothing.  I still wanted to sleep.  *Sigh*

    I am so very thankful for my BRF Kara.  She got me through my 18km run last weekend.  We are a kickass team when we run together 🙂

    My BRF and I after that super tired 18kms.

    When I was at the doctor’s office I was shocked that this was my result.  I asked him if this could cause the extreme fatigue and excessive sleeping.  He said yes.

    He advised me to start Vitamin D3 supplements, 2000IU per day.  I should start feeling an improvement in a couple of weeks, and hopefully feel completely better in a month.

    I was relieved to be sure.  I had myself thinking it was  something awful.  Overthinking is my specialty 😉

    Pretty sure I’ve been a hot mess all week.  I have been so tired I’ve wanted to cry, and I almost have on quite a few occasions.

    Now, to reset and be thankful.  I’ll be fine to complete training and run my half in May!!

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Tired – So Very Tired

    How I am feeling, all the time (thanks for the demonstration Nala)

    At first, I thought I was fighting a cold.  I was congested and just feeling yucky.

    But this is week three.  I am no longer congested.

    I am tired.  So very tired.

    I am trying to stay awake.  It’s 7:00 pm as I write this post, and I could have curled up in bed half an hour ago.

    Writing this is keeping me awake.

    Last night I was in bed at 8:45pm.  Woke up at 6:00am today, feeling okay.  By the time 1:00pm rolled around, I was yawning.

    4 weeks out from my half marathon.  Ugh.

    This means a visit to the clinic tomorrow.  I need bloodwork.  I need a solution.

    In the meantime, I’ll soldier on.

    My last big long run is on Sunday, then the slow taper begins.

    I hope this is something that can be treated easily.  So many possibilities.

    Once I get my results back I’ll be posting again.  Keep your fingers crossed!

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • My Life as a Single Mom: The Mom Brain

    A Mom and her TeenThing

    I can probably get a shirt that says “Permanent Mom Brain”.

    Working, raising a child, avoiding the rabbit hole of depression, and trying to fit in my running/fitness takes up most of my time.  The blog has suffered a little bit lately because of this juggling act.

    I have had many ideas for posts.  I have sat down to write a draft so I could have it saved and get back to it.  DISTRACTION.  No writing.

    Let’s be real, this applies to my life in general.  I have, over the years, gone from one room to the other with full intention of “doing the thing”.  Insert phone call, child, other random thought, on my way to the other room.  I’ve lost the whole “doing the thing”.

    Why was I walking into this room?

    What was so important that I had to come here?

    What’s my name?

    WHO AM I ANYWAY?

    You’d think keeping physically active would magically sort everything out.

    NO.

    I can think I have my shit sorted out on a run.  All of life’s problems are solved (hahahaha) during this time by myself.

    I’ll get home and forget about 80% of my solutions.

    (This is so much worse on my “bad days”.  On those days, I am just happy I remember to put on pants.)

    Then people say “put it in your phone”.

    I’ve tried, but the red circles distract me and I automatically check out my notifications.

    GOLDFISH.

    I’m pretty sure it has gotten worse over the past few years (thank you hormones).

    I even went and bought paper agendas.  I have an agenda for regular life, and one for my running life.

    I was like:  “Hell Yeah!  Look out world I am coming for you!!  Take that Mom Brain!”

    But let’s be honest, I still can’t remember to write half of my shit down.

    So, I’ll just continue to wander through my life, content in knowing that at some point, I’ll know why I went into the other room AND what I am going to do there.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • When Overthinking Seeps Into The Run

    Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

    So for those of you who have been keeping up with me on social media know, I have been plagued with cranky calves.  If you aren’t following me on social media:  I am plagued with crank calves, lol.

    Ever since my knee surgery in 2015, I have been pushing with my calves to run.  I am pretty sure this is because I was afraid that I would break off more dead pieces of femur, would be back in the same spot, and require more surgery.

    I have been at physio getting myself looked after (yay dry needling!) and working on strength training to get my quads, hammies and glutes to activate.  I am also working on my balance and core work.

    Bosu!!

    My last long run was good.  Things are activating.  My butt and upper legs are SORE (not the bad sore, but the “heyyyyy, we are working here” kind of sore that I haven’t felt in a while) and I was happy with what I could pull off after not really pounding out the kms the week prior.

    My problem now:  I am overthinking how I am running.

    Seriously overthinking.

    I ran 4kms in the evening after my lunchtime physio and all I could do was think “Are my glutes activating?”  “My calves are sore, but I had dry needling, so is it that or did I screw them up again?” “Keep using the upper legs.”  “You probably look weird” “You should be in the Fitness Centre doing leg work” “WHY CAN’T I JUST RUN LIKE I USED TO!?”.

    Needless to say, I got the run done, but it was noisy.

    Sometimes I wish I had a switch to turn off my brain.

    My goal is to do the remaining runs this week and not think about it.  Try to enjoy the run, and remember why I love it:  the endorphins, the sweat, the joy.

    It’s a big request for my brain.  Hoping it can step up to the challenge.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Running and the Seesaw of Depression

    See this girl here?  This is a happy runner.

    Sun, snow, and a happy 5k.
    Sun, snow, and a happy 5k.

    I am not always like this when I run.  Some of my solo runs are hard sloggy messes.  This is where running becomes more than a physical game.  Mentally a hard run is rough for any runner.  For me a hard run feels like complete failure and no matter what I tell myself, I agree with the voice that is whispering in my ear.   Lanni Marchant herself could sit beside me and say “It’s just one run”.  I still hear the voice.  The one that says “Why bother, you suck”.

    If I don’t get enough sleep, any run can turn into a soul sucking event.  This is why I love my sleep.  It is one of the most important parts of my half marathon training.  It is a big help mentally as well.

    I cherish my good runs.  A LOT.  These make my sloggy messes melt away and I am charged for my next run.  If I am having a good stretch of happies then I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and live to run another day.  🙂

    But if my next run is not so good, and I am not at my best, the seesaw stops being a regular flow and I crash to the ground.

    The equation varies, which creates so many possible outcomes.   I struggle with this every time I train.

    Sunshine can make a bad run not so bad.
    Sunshine can make a bad run not so bad when I am feeling okay.

    When I have a couple of sloggy messes that I need to remember that: #1 I am a human being, #2 I am not getting paid to do this, #3 That means it is not the end of my running, #4 Everyone has bad runs, even elite athletes, and #5 I am lucky to be able to lace up and do something I love.

    Running doesn’t always lift me to where I want to be, but it is something that I love to do.  Giving out big sweaty hugs post run can be quite enjoyable 😉

    Running bonus:  Long run celebratory treats 🙂

    My fav: Coffee and Chocolate Croissant!
    My fav: Coffee and Chocolate Croissant!

    Keep fighting for happy my friends, even on your darker days.

    @crazymamaruns

  • Winter Running With My Pal, The Yanky!

    Winter running.

    It’s cold.  It’s snowy.  It makes your nose run.

    You have options for the runny nose:  either take Kleenex with you, or you use sleeves or gloves.  You can blow a snot rocket, but let’s face it, how well does THAT turn out?

    I may have found a solution to this problem.

    The Yanky.

    My Yanky arrived with sugar. Off to a good start!
    My Yanky arrived with sugar. Off to a good start!

    The Yanky is the hanky you yank, made in New Brunswick (Mama’s home province), and now comes in an assortment of colours.

    I took my Yanky out on a Sunday long run (10k).  I snapped it on my Under Armour hoodie pocket.

    Clipped on my hoodie pocket. Ready to roll!
    Clipped on my hoodie pocket. Ready to roll!

    I have used other products to get sweat off my face or blow my nose into, but they all involved my hand.  What I love about the Yanky is that it clips onto a hoodie or your pants and you don’t have to hold onto it!  The material is soft and absorbent.  I blew my nose a few times on my run and just being able to yank, blow, and release was FANTASTIC.  No more worrying about failed snot rockets.  No more lugging Kleenex in my water belt.

    It’s also great for my sweaty face when I am on the track or treadmill.  Yank, wipe, release.  Done.

    Another great thing, I can unclip it and throw it in the washer.  Win!  It washes like a dream.

    If you’re looking for something to wipe away sweat or snot and not worry about carrying around something in your belt or in your hand, I highly recommend The Yanky*.

    Find them on Facebook.  Ryan is awesome.

    @crazymamaruns

    *I was provided with a free Yanky for my review.

  • Crappy Sleep, Training, and Yay Team Nuun!

    It’s been a bit of a go lately

    This week has been a full one of ups and downs, crappy sleep and some high level anxiety with a dose of blech.

    One happy thing that happened to me since we last sat around the bloggy campfire:  I am now a Nuun Ambassador for 2017!!

    nuun

    I used Nuun as my electrolyte drink of choice last year.  There is always a tube (or two) of these electrolyte tablets in my bag.  I have used a lot of alternatives in the past, and this has been the only drink that doesn’t cause GI issues for me.  When the opportunity came up to apply I jumped on it!!  So happy to have been chosen this year for #TeamNuun 🙂  (Also:  Watermelon may be my new favourite flavour.  Stay tuned as I have yet to try my Boost Lemon Lime, hahaha.)

    In other news:

    This week sucked hard when it came to sleep.  It wasn’t until Thursday night that I actually had a full 8 hours.  Wednesday night I was up and down with anxiety, only getting about 4 hours.   Sleep is important for me, especially with mental illness.  When it comes to training, sleep is one of the biggest things I try to keep as steady as I can.  When I do, things are relatively easier to deal with.  Also, I’m happier when I sleep well, lol.

    A tad snowy on my way home from the track today!
    A tad snowy on my way home from the track today!

    I am getting close to the start of half marathon training.  Yesterday and today have been very good days.  I did upper body strength training on Saturday and was able to get 6.9kms in today with my BRF on the track at the Canada Games Centre.

    Look at those sexy compression socks ;)
    Look at those sexy compression socks 😉

    I am hoping to keep this good momentum going this week, but I realize that life will have it’s own ideas and I may need to readjust to make things work.

    As long as I sleep well, things should be okay!

    Here’s to a week of good sleep and good kilometres 🙂

    @crazymamaruns