There was this little span of time.
Just a little one.
I thought that I was in “recovery”.
Dear Friends,
I was not in recovery. It was a facade I had willingly accepted because I needed to be okay. I needed to NOT be in burnout. The fatigue is still there. My motivation, gone. I want to sleep…ALL THE TIME. It takes everything in me to get up and get going. I just DON’T WANT TO.
I have been here before.
I would rather not be here.
I tend to hermit in these conditions. Isolation is my solace.
I don’t have the energy most days to connect. I want to come home after work and sleep.
This isn’t good for anyone.
I honestly do not know where to start. How do I turn this around? Can I turn this around?
Can I survive this, again?
I ponder this every morning. Can I conjure up a plan that will work?
I’m surrounded by people I love at home. They help me as much as they can. But there are things that only I can do.
So I need to start writing things out. Feelings, thoughts, ideas.
Maybe then I can navigate this world I am in.
This post is not exactly uplifting, but I’ve always been real about where I am when I write.
So until I dig out, it’s not going to be good times. There may be a glimmer of good every now and then, so if you can be patient as I navigate these bends in the road, I would like to share those glimmers as well.
Take care of yourselves. Don’t get too encompassed by the news. Disconnect every now and then.
I’m off to bed, hopefully get a good sleep, and start again tomorrow.
