The Midlife Reframe

Category: osteochondritis dissecans

  • Total October Randomness

    Here we go!

     This is what I am doing right now….running while I can!

    I see the surgeon in 20 days.  So as long as it is not torrential downpour or hurricane force winds, I am going to try and get as much running time in as is humanly possible.

    I’m not going gangbusters mind you, but with the thought of being laid up for possibly 6-8 weeks and then recovery…well I am going to get it all in.

    Same with my yoga.  Home and at the studio.  I will practice every day!

    I want to be in great condition so I can kickass in recovery.

    The better shape I am in, the quicker my recovery time.

    And now…..other ramblings….

    So, as some of you know, I am a single mom.  This is both challenging and rewarding.  Challenging when the other parent is not involved, but rewarding because I see the awesome human I am raising on my own.  

    There have been times when I have doubted the job I am doing, just like every other parent.  Parenting is hard, period.  Even with both parents.  There are times you doubt every decision you make. 

    As parents, we are always hard on ourselves.  Harder than anyone else would be on US.  We keep our doubts and inner criticisms to ourselves.  No parent is perfect, no matter people may think or say.  We’ve all made mistakes and we learn from that.  We need to help each other out.  Give each other some pats on the back.  This is one hard gig!

    And then more randomness today because sometimes….

    I get the schlumpies.

    That’s what I call my bad days with depression.  The days I want to hibernate.  

    I find it gets worse when I don’t see the sun for more than 2 days.  

    No matter how much I run, how much I yoga, sometimes they just come along and pull the rug out from beneath me.

    Rude, yes.  I just find ways to get through them.  Whether it’s medidation, chocolate or some downtime with Netflix, I make it.  If it is really bad, I reach out, because sometimes the schlumpies leak out my eyes.

    In the end…

    I am still here.  Grateful for everything I have.  Grateful for everyone in my life.  Grateful for those who didn’t hang around.  I try to learn from every experience, good or bad.  There is a lesson in everything if you step back and look.

    Am I stubborn? Yes.  Will I make decisions that suck?  Yes.  But I get up the next day and start over.  Every day is a new beginning.  Yesterday is gone.  Put your feet on the ground and start over.

    It’s the best part, starting over.

    I’ve done it a lot.  You can too 🙂

    Sending out high fives and hugs!  We are all doing the best we can to get through this life.
     

     


  • September, Surgeon, and Looking Towards Late Fall…

    Friday – Awesome Cookie Delivery

    This weekend was awesomeness!

    There were many celebrations this weekend, as yours truly turned yet another year older!

    The awesomeness started on Friday with a delivery to my office…COOKIES!  My “Greg” is super duper fantastic.  These are from Halifax Cookie Cravings. Handmade, with locally sourced ingredients.  She delivers on her bicycle 🙂  MUCH LOVE to this lovely woman!

    Had a great hike on Saturday in Victoria Park (the bottom pics in my mega pic).  It has Jacob’s Ladder, which are the stairs I am walking up…all 175 of them.

    Media preview
    Saturday – Hiking, Luau, and Fire!

    This park is awesome.  We haven’t had much rain lately, so the waterfalls were waterdribbles 😦  But still a great day for a trail hiking adventure!

    Then…..we came home, refuelled and got ready for an evening of Luau BBQ Party Time! Was a ton of fun!  Games, food and great people.  Definitely a great day 🙂 

    Surgeon Appointment!!!  Yahoooo!

    Love love love hot yoga!

    Since I had not heard from anyone for about six weeks, I made a call to Dr. S as he told me to if I had not heard about a referral by this time.  Thank goodness the super awesome receptionist was able to find the info and hand me off to the surgeon who will be doing my knee surgery.  I meet with him in October 😀   Since it will be day surgery, I am hoping I get in BEFORE Christmas.  I would love to be able to run some races next summer/fall!

    For now, I am to stick to my yoga and my short runs.  No racing.

    So, What’s Going on Now?

    Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

    The winning shirt arrived from Runalicious!  Soft, comfortable and fit me perfectly.  It is definitely in my rotation of super fantastic weekend shirts 😀  They have some really great t shirts and running singlets.  Give them a look see!

    Been looking to get some new smoothie recipies.  I’ve gone through Pinterest, but if any of you out there have some quick and easies, please comment below!  I love trying new smoothies 🙂

    For now, I am trying to keep myself healthy and not cause further damage to the knee.  With this condition, where there are already mini fractures and floatie pieces in my knee, sometimes just taking a step can cause it to lock or let go.  Argh.  So my running is spotty, my walking questionable and my yoga full of adjustments.

    So keeping the knee “good” is hard, because I am clumsy.  Really clumsy.  I once sprained my ankle running across the street to a Dairy Queen and I’ve been known to walk into door jambs, while walking towards the door.

    Is anyone else clumsy like me?  lol

      

  • Contest Winner, Books, and A Confession….

    Runalicious has chosen their winner!

    And it was Jessica with the slogan “Chasing My Sanity” 🙂  Congrats Jessica!!

    The Ladies posted a teaser pic today:

    I love love love it!  AND….Runalicious is going to share the whole “how does this shirt thing happen” process with us!  Stay tuned to my blog for the awesomeness of shirt making!!  Thank you so much for this opportunity Runalicious!

    I’ve started reading running books…

    Photo: Bosu Burpees anyone? Starting tomorrow!!because my running is sketchy at best with this lovely condition I have.  So, I figured, let’s get a fix of running through the written word.  I am still attending yoga classes and walking with sporadic running, so I am maintaining fitness, and the Bosu Burpee Challenge is still going strong!

    [Today was 15 burpees.

    I did them.

    The Bosu gets kind of heavy after a while….that IS a good thing.  I tell myself that every extra burpee.]

    Anyway, back to books.

    On one of my last trips to Chapters, I wandered around aimlessly, looking for an actual book (My e reader is broken…I kind of inadvertently stepped on it while half asleep, because it had fallen on the floor.  I was reading in bed).

    While I was hunting down another title with my daughter and my mother, I came across Running with the Mind of Meditation by Sakyong Mipham.  It rang out to me and I had to have it. I am just about finished 🙂  It is an easy and enjoyable read.

    https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/RRc3EKfpIDA&source=uds

    I know some people are not “meditation” people, but for me and for some with a mental illness, meditation can be a way to bring ourselves BACK to ourselves.  To steady the mind.  To synchronize the mind and body.
     

    I am always learning and I love to read.  My next book will be the Hansons Half Marathon Method .  I have read a teaser, and can’t wait to get started!

    And now, my confession…

    For those who are here on a regular basis, you know that I have been battling depression/anxiety for a little over 3 years now.

    Sometimes, I get over confident, and think that I am “feeling better”.  When this happens, I kind of forget to take my medication every now and then.

    So, yeah, I did forget quite a few days last month.  After a good dose of whoopass from my mother, I am back on track.

    So if you are being treated and think you “may” be feeling better….check in with yourself.  Check in with your doctor.  Talk to someone you love and trust. They will tell you the truth, and kick you in the butt (in a good way). 

    Hope to see you back here soon.  Keep your eyes open for the next post!

     

     

  • Lessons Learned as a Relatively Newb Runner

    I’ve always learned things the hard way.


    And that also applies itself to running.  I’m stubborn too, which just adds to the problem, lol.

    I first started running when I was working with a personal trainer at the gym.  

    It all started when one of the girls at my workplace started up a lunchtime run group.
    The first day we ran 5km.  I felt like I was running on a cloud….oh wait, those were my new sneakers. BONUS POINT:  I had running sneakers.  I went out and bought a good pair of Sauconys.  Go me 🙂

    I was hooked.  Running was awesome!

    Problem #1: I was not stretching.  Not warming up.  Not like I should have been. This lead to some really tight legs after my very first 10km race (I had done a Run for the Cure 5km prior).


    And then……about a year later

    Problem #2 – Stubborn: Since I was invincible, I began to train for my first Half Marathon.

    Training was going well (at least I thought it was, lol) After my 18km long run, I felt AWESOME.  Went for another run, pain.  A lot of pain.  Right outside my knee.  I thought, okay, rest up.  This was one week before the race.  I was tight all the way up to my hip.  So I foam rolled and bought a strap for the old IT band at the race expo.

    Day of the half…I ran, in pain, and finished at 2:30.  I walked a lot of the last few kms, but ran over the finish line.

    I could barely walk the next day.  Off to doc and off to physio.  My IT band was shot…tightest EVER.

    Was a long haul back and lesson learned.

    Problem #3: Not listening to my body.  This applies to Problem #1 and #2.  I was not stretching and applying any serious cross training.  I thought some of the pain was “just a runner thing”.  Yes, I should have known better.

    Another year later!  We are into year 3.

    Problem #4:  Eat better, fuel better.  This took some work, as I love to eat and the more I ran, the more I wanted to EAT!  This caused some upset belly moments and some dehydration.  This is a big lesson for newb runners.

    Half Marathon #2:  Trained smarter, pushed myself a little bit harder (sometimes a bit too much, felt kind of nauseous and had to stop a couple of times) and ran a 2:10.

    I was going to run another Half, but was very very sick not long beforehand and did a 10k at the Valley Harvest Marathon. Because I am a dork and was full of running excitement, I went out too fast and wanted to barf halfway through.  Finished in under an hour and finally said, okay, smarten up.

    I ran a 21k relay the next month, Lucky 7 Relay with a couple of people from work.  I ran my 7km in 38 minutes.  I felt like a ROCK STAR 🙂

    Heading into year 4…


    I was running right up until the “Punta Cana Incident”.  We ran just about every morning around the resort nice and early, with the other runners.  Then I went and fell in the washroom (Yes, the washroom, and yes, I was sober).  This is the “awe man” moment when I was pretty sure I tore my meniscus, but found out I really have a condition called Osteochondritis Dissecans and I am due for surgery in the near future.

    Once I am all “put back together” and travel down my road to recovery, I am getting back to the Half Marathon state and looking for a new PB.  With my new love of yoga and my wiser ways, I am starting my bucket list of races.  Need to kill that 2:10 Half!

    Look out Half Marathon…..cause I am comin’ to get ya…..soon.





  • How Hot IS Hot Yoga???

    HOT! HOT! HOT!

    Tonight was my first class at Moksha Yoga in Bedford, NS 🙂 I signed up on Saturday as they had their “Summer Special” on.  $60 for 60 days.

    I have taken yoga before, and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I figured with the deal on it was a great time to try it out and see if it was something I would be into. 

    So, how does this hot yoga thing work?

    I arrived well before the 15 mins they ask for, as I needed to change.  Melissa greeted me at the desk and we had a quick chat.  She made sure I was armed with water, mat and towels (they rent them if you don’t have any) and sent me on my way to the change room. (No late people here.  You’re late, you are out of luck.  NO YOGA FOR YOU!)

    This studio is wonderful.  Clean, quiet and welcoming.

    I changed and walked into the “Brazil” room….and the wall hit me.  IT’S HOT.  

    I walked to what I thought was the back of the class and set up my mat, beach towel over the mat and grabbed some blocks and a strap.  With my water and little face towel beside me, I settled into Savasana.  I figured this would help me acclimatize.  I laid there and sweat BIG TIME, like someone had turned on a sweat faucet.  But eventually that did slow down…until class started…

    Because you’ll be full of it!

    Tonight’s class was Yin Yoga (90 minutes).  Melissa was our instructor.

    Yin Yoga is a little different as you hold your poses anywhere from 3-10 minutes.  It is all about relaxing and letting gravity do the work.  The focus is on the breath and the stretch.  No activating muscles.  Release.

    Upon Melissa’s arrival into the class, she advised today we would be focusing on legs!  (AND that the back of the room…..was actually the front…no looking at the mirror and so much for hiding…lol) 

    I though “wooooohooooo!”….because today, I ran 5kms!!!!!  (Go ME!) My legs were a little tight as this is the most I’ve run since the discovery of my OCD knee.

    I am just a little excited in this photo…lol


    We got started and at first I was struggling to get into a pose, until Melissa said to go with my body and when I felt the edge to stop and breathe.  At first I thought “How am I going to stay in these positions for 3-5-10 minutes??”.  The trick is (for me anyway) to close your eyes and focus on your breathing.  I found that once I did that (like in meditation) I let go.  I stopped worrying about where I was in the moment and let my body guide me.  There was a moment of “Ummm, I am kind of hot…am I going to puke….”, but that passed once I got control of my breathing 🙂

    I was dripping sweat everywhere!  And thankfully, so was the rest of the room…lol.

    At the end, while in Savasana (yay!) the lovely Melissa came around with cold facecloths and placed them over our eyes – BEST EVER!

    Afterwards, she congratulated me.  Not only on my first class, but for doing so well in a 90 minute class 🙂  I told her it was probably one of the best classes I have taken.

    So, guess where I am going tomorrow night???

    Next time…tank top!  Holy sweat 🙂

  • So, I’ve been RUNNING…..

    Yes….Running!  *HUGE SMILEY FACE EMOTICON*

    My first run…hesitation in that face?  Umm, yes.

    My second run – happy face, lead in the legs 😉

    Two small runs, under 3kms, but RUNNING 🙂  This is a test of patience for me right now, as I have to #1:  listen to my body, and #2: know that this running will only be until the fall when my surgery is scheduled.

    We are just about all settled in our new apartment.  I LOVE IT, it’s quiet and I get this awesome breeze on the balcony…SWEEEEEEEEEEEET.  The kitties have settled in well, although Jax is a scavenger of fluff from a chair…..

    The “fluff” and the finder of the “fluff”

    We (My “Greg” and I) also did some hiking along the trail at Crystal Crescent Beach.

    It was not really sunny when we left, but boy oh boy, the sun came out and it was AWESOME!

    In other spots, there were like a MEGA BEES

    And there were bees, LOTS of bees…

    In some spots, that’s all you could hear….

    Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..(it was a little freaky for a bit, but they weren’t concerned with us).

    This doesn’t even capture the awesome rockage

    Once we hit the part of the trail they do not maintain (WARNING: there is a nude beach just before this part….so if you take the kids, you’ve been warned…lol), then we hit the rocky part.  Super awesome rocks…we hung out here for a bit.

    How are my legs…how is my knee?

    So with my two runs and my hike, I am definitely feeling it in the leg region.  It’s been about 4 1/2 months since I have run, or done anything really physical with my legs, as I thought I was nursing a meniscus tear.  It feels great though!!  I am listening to my body and walking when necessary.  I need to get on a trail to run soon.  Those two runs were just around my area and with the pavement and downhills, that is causing some pain in the knee for sure.

    I have scheduled in some yoga for tomorrow and Saturday morning on my phone app.  Need my flexibility back!

    So, with My Soxy Feet blazing the trail with my Asics and LunaRacers, I am taking back my running 🙂

    Well, until the Fall anyway!



     
     

  • Osteochondritis Dissecans……Yep, That’s Right

    Actually, I guess it started out as Juvenile Osteochondritis Dissecans…

    My Soxy Feet waiting to see Dr. S 🙂

    When I was 15 I had to go in for a scope on my knees.  They told my mother that I had “some loose cartilage” floating around and they were going to remove it.

    Little did I know that it would haunt me later in life!  

    So, no meniscal tear! (But, it mimics a lot of the same symptoms as a meniscal tear.)

    So what the heck is it?  It’s like little stress fractures in my joint cartilage.  A piece of the cartilage and bone has broken off and is floating around in my knee (FUN!). 
     
    So, a scope is in my future for removal of the floatie cartilage and they will fill in the space where it once was with a new product called CarGel.  The surgery will be in the Fall, as Dr. Stanish wants to wait for the release of CarGel in Canada.  This is going to “fill in” the space where the bone/cartilage has broken off.

    But Can I Run??

    Yes Amy, you can run 🙂  Not crazy run, and not long.  Use pain as my guide.  Run/walk is probably the best bet for now.

    Now comes the controlling my reckless abandon and not lacing up to run my legs off…

    OH HAPPY DAY 🙂