The Midlife Reframe

Category: Nova Scotia

  • Is This The New Normal?

    I guess I am getting used to this new normal. It’s still surreal, this world we are currently living in.

    I live for the sunny days. Even when I am having a bad day on a sunny day, it doesn’t seem so awful.

    Still thankful to be able to work from home. It keeps my mind focused.

    I am ordering my groceries online and doing pickup. I was no longer able to go into the stores as my anxiety attacks beforehand exhausted me, and I was not able to focus while shopping.

    I have been keeping myself occupied during the weekends with crocheting and housework. The crocheting is great for calming my nerves. The housework just makes me feel better.

    I am thankful for video apps that keep me in touch with people, it has made a big difference.

    I am thankful that I am able to get outside, even if it’s only for 10-20 mins during my work day.

    I miss running with friends. I miss the gym. I miss all things right now. Knowing that it may be a while before being able to do “normal” things is a little disheartening at times, but this is the world we live in right now. We need to do what’s best, and that is physical distancing and staying at home. (Also, WASH YOUR HANDS.)

    I often wonder how I will look back on this time when I’m older. Will I remember the the things I learned about myself? Will I remember the good things? We’ve had so much heartbreak here in Nova Scotia. I want to remember all the good that has happened. They ways we came together. How we supported one another.

    I guess it’s a choice really, on how I remember these times.

    I am hoping I choose to remember the good.

  • Let’s Get Running

    Looking ahead to the next year as a whole isn’t something that comes easy to me.

    Just typing this is making me itch with anxiety (for real, my arms are itchy).

    I have decided to start planning my races for next year. I will be running all as a Worth Living Run Ambassador to bring awareness to mental illness.

    I have already registered for the 15k distance at the Scotiabank BlueNose Marathon in June.

    I am registering for the Resolution Run this week.

    So far, I have these on the list as possible races:

    • Epic Canadian
    • Navy 10k
    • Maritime Race Weekend (or Canada Army Run)
    • Valley Harvest
    • Food Run

    These may change, but knowing that I gave my body the break it needed, and not looking to run anything over 15k, has me getting the “urge” to run again.

    Also, being back on medication and giving myself the time to heal up a bit mentally has helped so, so much as well.

    Setting these races up gives me something to work towards and are goals that are just big enough for some continuous motivation.

    Running as an Ambassador for something I am passionate about is a very big motivator for me. I am really looking forward to it.

    Okay, I need to stop itching, so I have to jet.

    Hope you’ll follow along with my running journey in 2019!!

  • It’s Okay to Just Survive

    Hello January

    This time of year can be rough.

    Everyone is talking about their resolutions.

    Commercials on TV are trying to sell you a new life:  weight loss, gym memberships, etc.

    This does start well before the holiday season, and can be overwhelming as shit.

    I’ve done the resolution thing, and I’ve also done the intentions thing.  This year I am just continuing on with my journey.  A year of finding myself, reminding my body that it can do amazing things, and not crapping on myself every day, lol.

    It’s been weird not going into the start of year not training for a half marathon.  I’m full of restless energy, but yet super tired at the same time.

    With everyone around me on social media ploughing into the new year with training plans and mega runs, it is a struggle to not beat myself up if I don’t get in a run, or the gym, or a walk.   I’ve decided I am going to try and NOT make myself feel bad for not going out of the gate with any type of training plan (run or gym) as it is not in my best interest mentally.  I have just gotten back to WANTING to lace up,  and my calves are still a tad cranky.  Working on my glutes has made quite a difference, but there is still some work to do.

    I know, a lot of folks think that daily physical fitness is the best solution for mental illness.  Yes, it helps, but it isn’t the only solution.  Mental illness is complicated.

    Besides, this time of year is hard enough for me.  I honestly just want to curl up and hibernate.  Trying to embrace the winter is a challenge, but I am working on it.

    One way to embrace the colder weather:  I can skate outside.  There is a marsh up the road from me, so I went for a little spin the other day.  I had the spot to myself and had a great time. [MEGA BONUS: Today my calves are very happy, so this is something I am planning to enjoy more of this year.]

    Belchers Marsh. Skating with chairs and a tire, lol

    I am also trying to remind myself to breathe each day.  To take even one minute to just sit and pause (well, my watch reminds to do this, lol).

    So if you didn’t hop on the resolution train like me, don’t be concerned.  Continuing on your journey, your way, is what is important.

    Realistically, my moment in the journey is here:  I am just trying to survive right now, and that’s okay.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • Running – For Me


    My last “official” race of 2017 was the Valley Harvest 5k.

    It was a warm day.  I had a head cold.  I managed 30 minutes and I was happy 😃

    I chose Valley Harvest because of the beautiful scenery in Wolfville…..and the blanket.


    Taking all expectation off of myself has given me back some of the joy I was missing when I ran.  The shorter distances have been a blessing as well.  My body was hungry for a break.

    Last weekend was a fun run to support Feed Nova Scotia at the Canada Games Centre.  It was a beautiful day, and a great turnout.

    I ran with a couple of my running peeps from the neighbourhood and we had a great run!  Plus, there was pie, Starbucks, and Booster Juice at the end 🙂

    I’ve run a couple of days this week during my lunch hour, and I felt great.  It’s bringing me back to the start.  My lunch runs are 3k and it’s the perfect distance.  I can get away from my desk, get the rush, and burn off some steam.


    I am finding my balance.

    Finding the joy.

    Running for me.

    @crazymamaruns

  • Where Things Sit

    A very happy me (a sick me, lol) after a wonderful 5k at the Valley Harvest Marathon Weekend in Wolfville.

    As I sit here and type this post, it is Thanksgiving Monday in Canada.

    We had a great turkey feast yesterday, after a very early morning traveling so I could run a 5k at the 25th Anniversary of the Valley Harvest Marathon.

    I have a lingering head cold, and was thankful I felt well enough to run this beautiful course.

    I have one more run this season, the Food Run to support Feed Nova Scotia next weekend here in my neighbourhood.

    After having a great run yesterday in Wolfville, part of me started to question my decision to take a break from racing next year (I say this as I think…”well, maybe a few 5ks wouldn’t be so bad”, or “well, maybe some trail running would be better for me”, lol).  As runners we push ourselves to our physical and mental limits.  We question why we do this to ourselves as we run, but then bask in the afterglow.

    Running has always been cathartic for me.  I see things differently after a run.  It gives me a fresh perspective on things.  It connects me to my inner peace.

    The reality of the situation is this:  my body is out of balance.  My weak muscles are the ones that need to be strong, and my strong muscles are making up for the weak.  This is why I need to dial back and work on the imbalances.

    Mentally I need the break from the constant pressure I put myself under.  No one is harder on me, than me.  Trust me on that.

    The running community is a great source of support for me.  I can draw strength and ask for advice.  They do not judge.  They seek to understand and offer advice. I am grateful for that.  They see my back and forth as a struggle to do what’s right for me and my need to lace up and head out.

    I am truly looking forward to working on myself, taking the time to figure out my body at 45 years old, and find out what it is truly capable of.

    So, you’ll still see me out on the road, but you’ll also see me in the gym.  It’s part of the mind/body relationship I’ve ignored for too long.

    This is where things sit, and I’m really okay with it 🙂

    Hoping you’ll continue to come along with me to see where my running will take me down this fork in the road.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • That’s All Folks!

    Well, I did it.

    The weather was perfect.  The energy was amazing. I was ready.

    Hydration baby!

    Once I got downtown, I ran into some of my running friends 🙂   We had a chat before they went our for their 10k.

    I went into my training with the A/B/C plan in my head.  A: Go for my best time. B: Go for my best time when I am not my best.  C: Don’t die and finish, lol.

    I went with my Plan B, and decided to hang out with the 2:15 Pace Bunny and see how it went.

    I was concerned, I won’t lie.  Not running the last few weeks of training really had me worried.  Thankfully my PT and RMT told me I would be okay.

    I was okay.

    I felt good.  I met a Twitter bud Shelley while running along Agricola Street.  My body was feeling okay. After the first 5kms I went a little bit ahead of the Pace Bunny, but kept close enough to hear when we would take our walk breaks.  I stayed out front until Point Pleasant Park and “the hill”.  I wanted to walk it, mostly because I know when I hit my wall, and if walking that hill cut into my time, I was willing to save my legs to get me through until the end.

    I caught up with the group on our way out of Point Pleasant and tried to stay with them as much as I could.  Shelley and I met up again and we hung out for a bit until her knee got angry with her and she told me to soldier on.

    I soldiered.  I walked when I needed to.

    I was treated to a dance and a hug by my friend Tab who was out there cheering all the runners on South Park Street 🙂

    I chugged along until I hit the last couple of kms.  I then ran into my Twitter friend Sherry who was volunteering at a water station. She ran with me until the corner of Citadel Hill (thanks girl!).  Then I walked a bit, because this is “almost the end”.   It’s downhill.  Then the slow painful incline of Brunswick Street, lol.

    I hoofed it down Cogswell Street, heard someone yelling my name (later found out who that was – another social media peep, Chantal!), and got down to Brunswick.  I took a short walk break.  Then started running again.

    Not too long before the Finish Line I heard a familiar voice coming up beside me.  Shelley had made it!  We ran across the finish line together 🙂

    Shelley and I heading into the Scotiabank Centre for some TLC (and I had a hankering for chocolate milk!)

    I am lucky to have a good Sherpa Team waiting at the finish line of every race.  My Mom and TeenThing 🙂

    This race, as rough as it was for me the last few kilometres, reminded me why I love to run.

    So very thankful.

    @crazymamaruns

  • Races, Brain Melts, and the Return of the FitBit

     

    Began 2017 on the right foot. Let's hope I don't injure anything, lol.
    Began 2017 on the right foot. Let’s hope I don’t injure anything, lol.

    Okay,

    So over the holidays I decided that I seriously needed to keep moving this year.  Not just for my physical health, but for my mental health.  I sat and muddled about a fall half marathon.  I wanted something close to home (because I am without my own vehicle, and would need to acquire one for long distance travel) and fun.

    I ended up choosing the Half at Maritime Race Weekend.

    Here is the elevation for MRW Half :)
    Here is the elevation for MRW Half 🙂

    I did the Tartan Twosome there last year (5ks) and really enjoyed the atmosphere and all the goodies offered post race.  Also, the views in Eastern Passage are amazing!

    Also, I purchased a Believe Journal over the holidays.  SUPER EXCITED.

    Plan Amy, plan.
    Plan Amy, plan.

    I am ramping up to start training for the BlueNose Half Marathon shortly and have been writing in my journal daily.  I should be receiving my plan soon and am looking forward to getting back on the training train 😉

    You said Brain Melts?

    Oh yes, brain melts.

    Once I had registered and started to plan out my races, I had a brain melt.

    Then panic.

    What had I done?!?!?

    I am usually a one big race and then all the smaller distances to keep me moving.

    I did not get the kms in that I wanted my first week and by the weekend, it caught up with me:  work, life, running, KERSMASH.

    I had an anxiety moment.  A brain melting, bugs crawling on my skin, flight (not fight), moment.

    I’m good now, but it was yuck.

    And now, let’s talk about the FitBit.

    I Thought You Divorced Your FitBit?

    I did.

    We recently made up, for now.  I put my step goal down to 8,000 and joined a challenge.

    Results from first full week:  I can’t do challenges.  It still ramps up my brain and makes me super anxious.

    But I decided to still wear it.  If anything I can see my sleep patterns and make sure I do get up and move around (she says as she sits and types, lol).

    It gives me some motivation to be active, and see lovely sights such as this on my lunch hour:

    Halifax Waterfront
    Halifax Waterfront

    That is what’s been happening here in the land of Amy so far in 2017.  Come back around soon, as we get ready to document the Odyssey that is my life and how I am going to manage 2 Half Marathons and my brain!

    @crazymamaruns

  • Looking Back….Looking Ahead

    Christmas at Mom and Dad's
    Christmas at Mom and Dad’s

    So here we are.

    2016 is slowly coming to a close.

    2017 is on the doorstep, patiently waiting.

    I decided a year or so ago that I would not do resolutions.  It’s just not me.  It sets me up to self sabotage my well thought out plans.

    This month has been hard mentally.  Deciding what to hold onto and what to let go of was a big thing.  Like taking out my mental garbage.  It’s surprising how much we can hold onto.  Some of it drags us down and some lifts us up.  This week I have been trying to take out my mental garbage.  That has not been an easy task.  I’m doing it.  I. Am. Doing. It.

    I am also thinking about the year ahead and what I want to do when it comes to running.  I won my registration to the BlueNose Marathon this year and I will be gearing up for the half marathon again.  My desire is that I finish it in under 2 hours 10 minutes, as that is my current personal best.

    I’d like to do a fall half marathon as well.  This means I REALLY need to train and run smart in 2017.  It also means I have to take care of myself mentally as well.  Not being on top of my illness and letting it take over my body can throw a big wrench into my plans.  Depression can shut your body down.  If you don’t pay attention it will show up as aches, pains and then injury.  Total body shut down means it hurts to move all the time:   getting out of bed, walking down the stairs, breathing, etc.  Not good.

    I have started weight lifting again (as I type this I have some major DOMS going on in my upper body, and the typing struggle is real, hahaha) and will make an effort to schedule in my yoga daily.  I bought new gloves for weights, a yoga strap (I had been using an old scarf), and a block (again, using something other than a block, read:  my travel foam roller) today to keep me in the groove.

    I am hoping that I can keep this train rolling into 2017 and focus on good food as fuel, proper hydration, and a smart plan when it comes to training.

    I will be thoroughly documenting my ups and downs this year.  My trials and tribulations 😉  Weekly posts will give you an idea where my body and brain are, I promise!

    My train derailed early last year, and I plan to keep it on the rails for 2017.

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season so far, and I wish you all the best for the New Year! xo

    @crazymamaruns

     

     

  • Cupping, Christmas, and Weights


    Yes, let’s talk about my back shall we?
    When I arrived at the Saint Mary’s University Lifemark location, my RMT asked me the usual questions:  How are things?  What have you been up to? What are we working on today?  Welllllll…
    December is a hard month.  More so for those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety.  The lack of sun is a mood crusher all on its own.  You add in the social events, the gift purchasing, and the cooking,  some sort of meltdown is inevitable.
    For me, everything needs to be perfect: the tree, the food, and the presents.  My need for everyone else to be happy trumps all.  Everything else goes out the door: the gym, my running, the things that keep me centered.  I know what it feels like to hit the bottom, so my desire to make sure that those around me have a great holiday is strong.
    This year my body got me through various races.  I was 2 minutes off my 1/2 marathon personal best in May (coming back from a knee injury, I was so happy!), I ran a 10km in the hottest weather I’ve ever run in (not my best, lol), I ran a 5km personal best, and I got through 2 calf strains (each leg).
    My RMT is amazing (so is my PT and Chiro) and has gotten me back on my feet more times than I can count.  When I told him my body was shutting down, he knew exactly what I meant.  I was tightly wound AND my right calf was still not 100%.  Also, my desire to sleep forever and eat all the food was starting to become an issue.
    He suggested cupping.  I am game to try new things, and I have had friends who had cupping done, so I said sure!
    Holy Hurt Batman.
    I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.  It was a weird experience at first, but once I got used to the suction ‘zlurp’ noise and the feeling, I focused on my breathing and cursed when required 😉.  I could feel the release in my calf, and as he worked on my back, it was then I realized juuuust how tight I was.  Stress had my upper back all tied up.
    He took the above picture and had me look at it before he left the room.  I had an idea of what it might look like, but that is intense, lol.  Biggest hickies EVER.  Still tender today as write this post, but boy did I ever had a great sleep!
    He left me with post massage/cupping instructions and we discussed what I was going to do to get myself through December and prep for my half training in the new year: Weight training.  I felt great when I worked with a trainer and had a plan.  It will also prep my body for running.  I need this for my mental health as well.
    So until Crazy Mama starts to run, Crazy Mama’s gonna lift!
    For real.  Just watch me 🙂.
    @crazymamaruns
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  • Race Recap: Maritime Race Weekend Sunset 5k and Sunrise 5k

    Arrrrrgghhh Matey!

     

    This was my first time running Maritime Race Weekend.
    It did NOT disappoint!
    I registered for the “Tartan Twosome” Challenge, which gave you entry into the Sunset 5k on Friday evening and your choice of race on Saturday (I opted for another 5k as the route is relatively flat).  This would give me an extra medal and some sweet swag!

    Sunset 5k

    So, since I worked on Friday, I hopped on the Ferry and took the Public Limo to Fisherman’s Cove in Eastern Passage which is the backdrop for this Pirate themed weekend 🙂  It consists of small “houses” which have local merchants selling their creations and restaurants to quiet your rumbling belly after walking (or running, lol) around the boardwalk.  It is the Start, and Finish Line for each race.
    I arrived early and checked my bag with a couple of the awesome volunteers. There are so many people that gave their time to make sure everything ran like clockwork.  (A HUGE shout out to all the volunteers who make Maritime Race Weekend happen!)
    Corrals were set up so that you could line up according to your finish time with a spot for the 5k walkers as well.
    There were Pirates everywhere (lots of runners ran in costume) and of course, music to match! 
    When we started out there was some congestion.  I ran with my friend Shannon for the first half, but when we got to the turnaround point, I got tied up in a kerfuffle of people and lost her.  I took a walk break to get back to a spot where I could run without running into anyone, lol.
    The views on this race are amazing.  I wish I had taken out my phone to take some photos, but I had forgotten my Garmin and my phone was my GPS (Strava) so I was trying to NOT look at it, lol.
    Once I got back to Fisherman’s Village and hit the corner before the Finish Line I kicked it into high gear.
    I PB’D MY 5K!!!!
    29:25 was my chip time.  Strava had me at 29:30.
    I was able to RING THE BELL 🙂
    Medal #1 – LOVE IT!

    It’s the PB/First Race Bell!
    Oh yeah I rang that PB Bell!  Eeeee!

    My friend Andrea gave me a lift home.  I had a hot bath, a quick snack and got ready for bed.  I had to race again the next morning!

    Sunrise 5k

    Saturday started at 5am.

    Good Morning Moon!

    In order to get half decent parking I had to leave at 6am.  Coffee, dry toast, gather gear (and yes, I remembered my Garmin, lol) and get out the door.
    It was chilly.  I wore my Badass Mother Runner shirt with a very light jacket.  (Thank you Another Mother Runner Store!)
    I met up with Andrea in the parking area we scoped out the night before as we sat in traffic on the way home, lol.  We hung out and had a quick snack before joining the throng of runners walking down to Fisherman‘s Cove.
    This is THE morning.  5k, 10k, half and full marathon.  We hit the porta potties right away and it was a good thing we did.  That lineup rivaled the corral lineup, lol.  We met up with another RunAtCan Twitter bud (Catherine) and had a little shake out run.
    We corralled and had a mini warm up (both races they had 3rd Degree Training do the warmup for the runners – thanks guys!) and waited for the race to start.
    And not to worry, the Pirates were out in full force on Saturday as well 🙂
    Did I say how beautiful this run is??
    It was congested getting out of the gate and for the first little bit, but we found a “spot” and kept that as much as we could.  Andrea was running the 10k, so we bid each other farewell as I hit the turn around point.   Now I had room to move 😉  I had an issue with my water (it would not slip back into the belt, lol) so I had to walk to get it rectified.
    I was able to wave at Tim on my way back (that is my first picture above, lol) and enjoyed the view as I came back into Fisherman’s Cove.  I kicked it and came in at 30:33!
    The Pirates gave me my second medal and my super awesome challenge medal!

    Yahooooooooooo!  Medals 2 and 3 🙂
    I met up with my friend Jill at the finish line.  She had her PB that morning!!  We are both running the BLT 5k in October (look out world!)

    Super Happy Jill and Amy!
    I got myself a bagel (from Izzy’s Bagels, soooo gooood), some trail mix, and waited for the rest of my friends to run in.  
    (There were quite a few of my RunAtCan and Twitter peeps running, it was great to see some of you!)
    The weather was amazing.  You could not have asked for a better weekend.
    Once “The Gang” made it in and got some food, we went and took the ticket off of our bibs and a got our post race beer!

    Part of The Gang, having beer, lol.
    All in all, this is one race I would definitely recommend for anyone looking to run here in Nova Scotia.  It was well run, the volunteers were amazing, and the atmosphere is fantastic!

    A girl with her Pirate Booty!

     @crazymamaruns