The Midlife Reframe

Category: community

  • And She Did It

    It’s been a few weeks since my 10km race.

    It’s taken me that long to process this journey, one that I needed to go on to find my running mojo again.

    Running with Team Myles was an amazing experience. One I will never forget.

    I’ve made some new running friends, and I’ve even joined a local running group which runs every Monday evening and hosts other running events.

    The thing I will have to keep in check though, is my brain. It is really having a hard time with me running again.

    It has tried to revolt. It even tells me how awful I am now that I am slower than I used to be. It whispers “why even bother?” in my ear.

    One thing that running with Team Myles has reiterated is that it is MY PACE that I run at. I’ve changed. My body has changed. My pace has changed, and that’s okay.

    Running is meant to be enjoyable for me. To get caught up in the time/pace vortex would just throw me into a mental space where my obsession would take over. I’ve been there before, and it’s not always good for me.

    Training for a race at my new pace was a great experience. Training with a group of people running at different paces really made me appreciate the effort put forth by every single person that showed up.

    That’s the whole point: showing up.

    Showing up for yourself.

    Acknowledging YOUR effort.

    Appreciating what the body is capable of. It’s an amazing piece of machinery.

    I am willing to keep at it, and to fight my brain telling me why I shouldn’t.

    They say running is a mental game.

    I’m at the start again, and each move will be a challenge.

    I just have to keep rolling the dice.

  • Speaking in Public: Oh My Nerves

    This year I have two speaking engagements.

    My first one is at the end of this month, at Podcamp Halifax (held at Dalhousie University) and the other in May at the Worth Living Mental Health Conference here in Halifax (at the Atlanica Hotel.

    I have spoken in public before, and was a bundle of anxiety.

    For me, the difference from then until now is that I have become extremely passionate about sharing my journey.

    I will be authentic.

    I will be genuine.

    No smoke screen.

    No masks.

    Just me.

    I am not sure how I will be received, but I am anxious and excited (anxcited, lol).

    The message is important to me.

    I hope that sharing it with a live audience makes a difference.

    If I can make the connection with the audience, then my goal will be achieved.

    It’s time to get real, in the public realm.

  • Let’s Get Running

    Looking ahead to the next year as a whole isn’t something that comes easy to me.

    Just typing this is making me itch with anxiety (for real, my arms are itchy).

    I have decided to start planning my races for next year. I will be running all as a Worth Living Run Ambassador to bring awareness to mental illness.

    I have already registered for the 15k distance at the Scotiabank BlueNose Marathon in June.

    I am registering for the Resolution Run this week.

    So far, I have these on the list as possible races:

    • Epic Canadian
    • Navy 10k
    • Maritime Race Weekend (or Canada Army Run)
    • Valley Harvest
    • Food Run

    These may change, but knowing that I gave my body the break it needed, and not looking to run anything over 15k, has me getting the “urge” to run again.

    Also, being back on medication and giving myself the time to heal up a bit mentally has helped so, so much as well.

    Setting these races up gives me something to work towards and are goals that are just big enough for some continuous motivation.

    Running as an Ambassador for something I am passionate about is a very big motivator for me. I am really looking forward to it.

    Okay, I need to stop itching, so I have to jet.

    Hope you’ll follow along with my running journey in 2019!!

  • Where Things Sit

    A very happy me (a sick me, lol) after a wonderful 5k at the Valley Harvest Marathon Weekend in Wolfville.

    As I sit here and type this post, it is Thanksgiving Monday in Canada.

    We had a great turkey feast yesterday, after a very early morning traveling so I could run a 5k at the 25th Anniversary of the Valley Harvest Marathon.

    I have a lingering head cold, and was thankful I felt well enough to run this beautiful course.

    I have one more run this season, the Food Run to support Feed Nova Scotia next weekend here in my neighbourhood.

    After having a great run yesterday in Wolfville, part of me started to question my decision to take a break from racing next year (I say this as I think…”well, maybe a few 5ks wouldn’t be so bad”, or “well, maybe some trail running would be better for me”, lol).  As runners we push ourselves to our physical and mental limits.  We question why we do this to ourselves as we run, but then bask in the afterglow.

    Running has always been cathartic for me.  I see things differently after a run.  It gives me a fresh perspective on things.  It connects me to my inner peace.

    The reality of the situation is this:  my body is out of balance.  My weak muscles are the ones that need to be strong, and my strong muscles are making up for the weak.  This is why I need to dial back and work on the imbalances.

    Mentally I need the break from the constant pressure I put myself under.  No one is harder on me, than me.  Trust me on that.

    The running community is a great source of support for me.  I can draw strength and ask for advice.  They do not judge.  They seek to understand and offer advice. I am grateful for that.  They see my back and forth as a struggle to do what’s right for me and my need to lace up and head out.

    I am truly looking forward to working on myself, taking the time to figure out my body at 45 years old, and find out what it is truly capable of.

    So, you’ll still see me out on the road, but you’ll also see me in the gym.  It’s part of the mind/body relationship I’ve ignored for too long.

    This is where things sit, and I’m really okay with it 🙂

    Hoping you’ll continue to come along with me to see where my running will take me down this fork in the road.

    @crazymamaruns

     

  • October: Time for a Reboot

    A BIG reboot.

    After my last race(s) during Maritime Race Weekend, I took a break.

    There I am!  2nd from the left during the Sunrise 5k 🙂
    I needed this break.  Needed to take a step back.
    There has been a lot going on in “the background”.  TeenThing finally has a job (yay!).  As I sit here writing this post, she is at her first shift (training).  I am just over a full month and a half on low dose hormone for perimenopausal joy. (This is something my doctor and I discussed when I was in to see her for my shingles.)  There was some residual fatigue from shingles as well.  Work has been busy (which is good, because my brain needs that for survival, hahahaha).
    Things are better since I have seen my doc, especially for the perimenopausal joy.  I am not as absent-minded or moody AF (Which, astonishingly, I knew wasn’t my mental illness.  This is a whole other beast.  A weird, WTF kind of beast.)  Can’t get rid of those hot flashes though, lol.  Took some time for me.  Got some new hair (actually this colour is extremely close to my “before gray” hair).

    Who IS that mama??
    I also needed to step back because I was losing my running mojo.  I had two great races but I wasn’t getting that “HELLZ YEAH” feeling on my runs.  I also wasn’t feeling GOOD.  I felt off.  I needed to find my mojo again.  My love of feeling the burn 😉

    I found it today.  Fighting a head cold, on the couch, I found it.

    I watched From Fat to Finish Line on Netflix.  Remembering the way I felt during my last two races:  the people, the atmosphere and the support of everyone who runs.  How much of an accepting family runners are.
    With this new month I am doing a reboot.  I need to really, because I run a 5km race later this month, lol.
    So, nice and easy goes the train.  I signed up for the “new” Bad Yogi 30 day challenge, will head back to the gym on a regular schedule, and start kicking those kms in the butt.  Also, I bought Run Fast Eat Slow to get my cooking mojo back!
    [For anyone who needs to have someone kick their butt to get their mojo back, check out Carey (A PT and Coach) with Running Moms.  She has great programs and is a fantastic motivator.  I was kicking ass before I got sick and hormonally screwed, lol. I am also pretty sure that was how I made it through my two races with great times!]
    What do you do when you lose your mojo?  Take a break?  Work harder?
    What works for you?