The Midlife Reframe

Author: Amy Leon

  • Contest Winner, Books, and A Confession….

    Runalicious has chosen their winner!

    And it was Jessica with the slogan “Chasing My Sanity” 🙂  Congrats Jessica!!

    The Ladies posted a teaser pic today:

    I love love love it!  AND….Runalicious is going to share the whole “how does this shirt thing happen” process with us!  Stay tuned to my blog for the awesomeness of shirt making!!  Thank you so much for this opportunity Runalicious!

    I’ve started reading running books…

    Photo: Bosu Burpees anyone? Starting tomorrow!!because my running is sketchy at best with this lovely condition I have.  So, I figured, let’s get a fix of running through the written word.  I am still attending yoga classes and walking with sporadic running, so I am maintaining fitness, and the Bosu Burpee Challenge is still going strong!

    [Today was 15 burpees.

    I did them.

    The Bosu gets kind of heavy after a while….that IS a good thing.  I tell myself that every extra burpee.]

    Anyway, back to books.

    On one of my last trips to Chapters, I wandered around aimlessly, looking for an actual book (My e reader is broken…I kind of inadvertently stepped on it while half asleep, because it had fallen on the floor.  I was reading in bed).

    While I was hunting down another title with my daughter and my mother, I came across Running with the Mind of Meditation by Sakyong Mipham.  It rang out to me and I had to have it. I am just about finished 🙂  It is an easy and enjoyable read.

    https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/RRc3EKfpIDA&source=uds

    I know some people are not “meditation” people, but for me and for some with a mental illness, meditation can be a way to bring ourselves BACK to ourselves.  To steady the mind.  To synchronize the mind and body.
     

    I am always learning and I love to read.  My next book will be the Hansons Half Marathon Method .  I have read a teaser, and can’t wait to get started!

    And now, my confession…

    For those who are here on a regular basis, you know that I have been battling depression/anxiety for a little over 3 years now.

    Sometimes, I get over confident, and think that I am “feeling better”.  When this happens, I kind of forget to take my medication every now and then.

    So, yeah, I did forget quite a few days last month.  After a good dose of whoopass from my mother, I am back on track.

    So if you are being treated and think you “may” be feeling better….check in with yourself.  Check in with your doctor.  Talk to someone you love and trust. They will tell you the truth, and kick you in the butt (in a good way). 

    Hope to see you back here soon.  Keep your eyes open for the next post!

     

     

  • Runalicious Contest EXTENDED!!!

    RUNALICIOUS CONTEST EXTENDED!!!  

     

    HI FIVE!!  WOOOOOOO!

     

    In partnership with Runalicious we are extending this awesome contest. How exciting is that? Now those of you who are not familiar with Runalicious they are a boutique company specializing in running inspired women’s apparel. Their website is www.runalicious.ca, their facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/Runalicious

    its a hill get over it Long Sleeve
    They make cool, super awesome shirts like this!

    Runalicious recently held a contest to find a new phrase to adorn their shirts. That contest was hosted by http://girlgoesrunning.blogspot.ca The phrase that won was “the road is my gym”. 

    the road is my gym
    You too could be shirt famous!!!

    Now I thought we could do even better. So after speaking with the Runalicious crew. Here we are. But our contest will be a little different. So whats the deal? Runalicious are looking for a unique phrase or slogan that’s not already used or branded by anyone else. (google is your friend when checking this). In return runalicious will send you the VERY first shirt off their presses in your size!! Yes they will ensure that the first shirt is in your size. How cool is that. They will also send to this blog a series of photos actually showing the creation of YOUR shirt. Uber cool.

    So our phrase with be very slightly different, and a first for Runalicious, ours will be “mom-centric”. “Are you a mom? Do you love to run? Would you love a shirt with the unique phrase “YOU” came up with to be on other Mom runners’ bods?” Who wouldn’t, lol.

    Ok this is how it works easy peasy.
    1, LIKE the Runalicious fb page https://www.facebook.com/Runalicious 
    2, In the comments below this leave your name, your “unique phrase” pertaining to being a mom and running.
    3, Include your shirt size in your comment.

    The contest will conclude Sunday the 7th of September. The winner will be announced both here and on Runalicious facebook page.

    Good luck to you all!

  • Lessons Learned as a Relatively Newb Runner

    I’ve always learned things the hard way.


    And that also applies itself to running.  I’m stubborn too, which just adds to the problem, lol.

    I first started running when I was working with a personal trainer at the gym.  

    It all started when one of the girls at my workplace started up a lunchtime run group.
    The first day we ran 5km.  I felt like I was running on a cloud….oh wait, those were my new sneakers. BONUS POINT:  I had running sneakers.  I went out and bought a good pair of Sauconys.  Go me 🙂

    I was hooked.  Running was awesome!

    Problem #1: I was not stretching.  Not warming up.  Not like I should have been. This lead to some really tight legs after my very first 10km race (I had done a Run for the Cure 5km prior).


    And then……about a year later

    Problem #2 – Stubborn: Since I was invincible, I began to train for my first Half Marathon.

    Training was going well (at least I thought it was, lol) After my 18km long run, I felt AWESOME.  Went for another run, pain.  A lot of pain.  Right outside my knee.  I thought, okay, rest up.  This was one week before the race.  I was tight all the way up to my hip.  So I foam rolled and bought a strap for the old IT band at the race expo.

    Day of the half…I ran, in pain, and finished at 2:30.  I walked a lot of the last few kms, but ran over the finish line.

    I could barely walk the next day.  Off to doc and off to physio.  My IT band was shot…tightest EVER.

    Was a long haul back and lesson learned.

    Problem #3: Not listening to my body.  This applies to Problem #1 and #2.  I was not stretching and applying any serious cross training.  I thought some of the pain was “just a runner thing”.  Yes, I should have known better.

    Another year later!  We are into year 3.

    Problem #4:  Eat better, fuel better.  This took some work, as I love to eat and the more I ran, the more I wanted to EAT!  This caused some upset belly moments and some dehydration.  This is a big lesson for newb runners.

    Half Marathon #2:  Trained smarter, pushed myself a little bit harder (sometimes a bit too much, felt kind of nauseous and had to stop a couple of times) and ran a 2:10.

    I was going to run another Half, but was very very sick not long beforehand and did a 10k at the Valley Harvest Marathon. Because I am a dork and was full of running excitement, I went out too fast and wanted to barf halfway through.  Finished in under an hour and finally said, okay, smarten up.

    I ran a 21k relay the next month, Lucky 7 Relay with a couple of people from work.  I ran my 7km in 38 minutes.  I felt like a ROCK STAR 🙂

    Heading into year 4…


    I was running right up until the “Punta Cana Incident”.  We ran just about every morning around the resort nice and early, with the other runners.  Then I went and fell in the washroom (Yes, the washroom, and yes, I was sober).  This is the “awe man” moment when I was pretty sure I tore my meniscus, but found out I really have a condition called Osteochondritis Dissecans and I am due for surgery in the near future.

    Once I am all “put back together” and travel down my road to recovery, I am getting back to the Half Marathon state and looking for a new PB.  With my new love of yoga and my wiser ways, I am starting my bucket list of races.  Need to kill that 2:10 Half!

    Look out Half Marathon…..cause I am comin’ to get ya…..soon.





  • CONTEST!!!!!! (this one is for you Mother Runners!!!)

      I’m Having a CONTEST!!! FOR MOMS!

    In partnership with Runalicious we are offering a new contest. How exciting is that? Now those of you who are not familiar with Runalicious they are a boutique company specializing in running inspired women’s apparel. Their website is www.runalicious.ca, their facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/Runalicious

    Last week Runalicious held a contest to find a new phrase to adorn their shirts. That contest was hosted by http://girlgoesrunning.blogspot.ca The phrase that won was “the road is my gym”. 

    Now I thought we could do even better. So after speaking with the Runalicious crew. Here we are. But our contest will be a little different. So whats the deal? Runalicious are looking for a unique phrase or slogan that’s not already used or branded by anyone else. (google is your friend when checking this). In return runalicious will send you the VERY first shirt off their presses in your size!! Yes they will ensure that the first shirt is in your size. How cool is that. They will also send to this blog a series of photos actually showing the creation of YOUR shirt. Uber cool.

    So our phrase with be very slightly different, and a first for Runalicious, ours will be “mom-centric”. “Are you a mom? Do you love to run? Would you love a shirt with the unique phrase “YOU” came up with to be on other Mom runners’ bods?” Who wouldn’t, lol.

    Ok this is how it works easy peasy.
    1, LIKE the Runalicious fb page https://www.facebook.com/Runalicious 
    2, In the comments below this leave your name, your “unique phrase” pertaining to being a mom and running.
    3, Include your shirt size in your comment.

    The contest will conclude Sunday 31st August. The winner will be announced both here and on Runalicious facebook page.

    Good luck to you all!


     

     

     

  • How Hot IS Hot Yoga???

    HOT! HOT! HOT!

    Tonight was my first class at Moksha Yoga in Bedford, NS 🙂 I signed up on Saturday as they had their “Summer Special” on.  $60 for 60 days.

    I have taken yoga before, and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I figured with the deal on it was a great time to try it out and see if it was something I would be into. 

    So, how does this hot yoga thing work?

    I arrived well before the 15 mins they ask for, as I needed to change.  Melissa greeted me at the desk and we had a quick chat.  She made sure I was armed with water, mat and towels (they rent them if you don’t have any) and sent me on my way to the change room. (No late people here.  You’re late, you are out of luck.  NO YOGA FOR YOU!)

    This studio is wonderful.  Clean, quiet and welcoming.

    I changed and walked into the “Brazil” room….and the wall hit me.  IT’S HOT.  

    I walked to what I thought was the back of the class and set up my mat, beach towel over the mat and grabbed some blocks and a strap.  With my water and little face towel beside me, I settled into Savasana.  I figured this would help me acclimatize.  I laid there and sweat BIG TIME, like someone had turned on a sweat faucet.  But eventually that did slow down…until class started…

    Because you’ll be full of it!

    Tonight’s class was Yin Yoga (90 minutes).  Melissa was our instructor.

    Yin Yoga is a little different as you hold your poses anywhere from 3-10 minutes.  It is all about relaxing and letting gravity do the work.  The focus is on the breath and the stretch.  No activating muscles.  Release.

    Upon Melissa’s arrival into the class, she advised today we would be focusing on legs!  (AND that the back of the room…..was actually the front…no looking at the mirror and so much for hiding…lol) 

    I though “wooooohooooo!”….because today, I ran 5kms!!!!!  (Go ME!) My legs were a little tight as this is the most I’ve run since the discovery of my OCD knee.

    I am just a little excited in this photo…lol


    We got started and at first I was struggling to get into a pose, until Melissa said to go with my body and when I felt the edge to stop and breathe.  At first I thought “How am I going to stay in these positions for 3-5-10 minutes??”.  The trick is (for me anyway) to close your eyes and focus on your breathing.  I found that once I did that (like in meditation) I let go.  I stopped worrying about where I was in the moment and let my body guide me.  There was a moment of “Ummm, I am kind of hot…am I going to puke….”, but that passed once I got control of my breathing 🙂

    I was dripping sweat everywhere!  And thankfully, so was the rest of the room…lol.

    At the end, while in Savasana (yay!) the lovely Melissa came around with cold facecloths and placed them over our eyes – BEST EVER!

    Afterwards, she congratulated me.  Not only on my first class, but for doing so well in a 90 minute class 🙂  I told her it was probably one of the best classes I have taken.

    So, guess where I am going tomorrow night???

    Next time…tank top!  Holy sweat 🙂

  • A Deep One Today….

    I’ve skirted around it enough

    But with the loss of yet another public figure to mental illness I feel that I too should share my (shortened) story.  To let others know they are not alone, to hopefully inspire others to tell their story.

    Depression is real.

    It is not a weakness.  It is not “sadness”.

    Unless you experience a form of debilitating mental illness it is hard to explain how a person can get to the place where they can no longer hold themselves up.  It is not a selfish act, for they are not just thinking of themselves.

    Those of us with mental illness do not want to be a burden.  We do not want to be treated differently.  Sometimes we think asking for help is placing too much on those we love.  We don’t want to “drag them down” with us.  When it gets really dark, sometimes there is no light.

    As I have posted before, I was diagnosed a little over three years ago with depression (I also have it’s fraternal twin anxiety).  I had spiraled downward after switching jobs, the financial stress of doing so, and illness in my family.  Everything weighed me down like a brick.  Being a single mother and not having enough money to feed/shelter and clothe myself and my daughter was frustrating.  Having a sick father and not knowing what exactly was going on at the time was terrifying.  I could not bring myself out of what I thought was a funk.  My coping mechanisms were gone.  (I have often wondered how long I actually suffered, telling myself for years that the helpless times were “just a bad time” in my life.)

    I finally went and got help when I realized that I felt disconnected.  Like I was watching a VERY BAD MOVIE of my life.  The thought of going back into work paralyzed me.  I went to see my Dr. and when I sat down with her….I cried.  I felt absolutely hopeless.  I had no joy left in my life.

    Thankfully I have a great support system and a great Doctor.  With them, with medication, I was able to get off my knees.  I am back at the job I left prior to chasing another.  They know I am sick and they support me in any way they can.

    And I now realize….

    I am one of the lucky ones.  I finally let myself be sick with no excuses.  It’s been this long and I still struggle.  There are still days I don’t want to face the world, but with my new coping skills, I am able to do so most of the time.  I also speak out whenever I can.  Share my story whenever I can.

    So to those out there who feel like they may be slipping down the rabbit hole….it is okay to seek help.  It is okay to be sick.  You are NOT weak.  You are stronger than you realize.  It takes great courage to ask for help.  Talk to someone, anyone.  You are NOT a burden.  You are human.  You are important.  You matter.

  • So, I’ve been RUNNING…..

    Yes….Running!  *HUGE SMILEY FACE EMOTICON*

    My first run…hesitation in that face?  Umm, yes.

    My second run – happy face, lead in the legs 😉

    Two small runs, under 3kms, but RUNNING 🙂  This is a test of patience for me right now, as I have to #1:  listen to my body, and #2: know that this running will only be until the fall when my surgery is scheduled.

    We are just about all settled in our new apartment.  I LOVE IT, it’s quiet and I get this awesome breeze on the balcony…SWEEEEEEEEEEEET.  The kitties have settled in well, although Jax is a scavenger of fluff from a chair…..

    The “fluff” and the finder of the “fluff”

    We (My “Greg” and I) also did some hiking along the trail at Crystal Crescent Beach.

    It was not really sunny when we left, but boy oh boy, the sun came out and it was AWESOME!

    In other spots, there were like a MEGA BEES

    And there were bees, LOTS of bees…

    In some spots, that’s all you could hear….

    Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..(it was a little freaky for a bit, but they weren’t concerned with us).

    This doesn’t even capture the awesome rockage

    Once we hit the part of the trail they do not maintain (WARNING: there is a nude beach just before this part….so if you take the kids, you’ve been warned…lol), then we hit the rocky part.  Super awesome rocks…we hung out here for a bit.

    How are my legs…how is my knee?

    So with my two runs and my hike, I am definitely feeling it in the leg region.  It’s been about 4 1/2 months since I have run, or done anything really physical with my legs, as I thought I was nursing a meniscus tear.  It feels great though!!  I am listening to my body and walking when necessary.  I need to get on a trail to run soon.  Those two runs were just around my area and with the pavement and downhills, that is causing some pain in the knee for sure.

    I have scheduled in some yoga for tomorrow and Saturday morning on my phone app.  Need my flexibility back!

    So, with My Soxy Feet blazing the trail with my Asics and LunaRacers, I am taking back my running 🙂

    Well, until the Fall anyway!



     
     

  • Osteochondritis Dissecans……Yep, That’s Right

    Actually, I guess it started out as Juvenile Osteochondritis Dissecans…

    My Soxy Feet waiting to see Dr. S 🙂

    When I was 15 I had to go in for a scope on my knees.  They told my mother that I had “some loose cartilage” floating around and they were going to remove it.

    Little did I know that it would haunt me later in life!  

    So, no meniscal tear! (But, it mimics a lot of the same symptoms as a meniscal tear.)

    So what the heck is it?  It’s like little stress fractures in my joint cartilage.  A piece of the cartilage and bone has broken off and is floating around in my knee (FUN!). 
     
    So, a scope is in my future for removal of the floatie cartilage and they will fill in the space where it once was with a new product called CarGel.  The surgery will be in the Fall, as Dr. Stanish wants to wait for the release of CarGel in Canada.  This is going to “fill in” the space where the bone/cartilage has broken off.

    But Can I Run??

    Yes Amy, you can run 🙂  Not crazy run, and not long.  Use pain as my guide.  Run/walk is probably the best bet for now.

    Now comes the controlling my reckless abandon and not lacing up to run my legs off…

    OH HAPPY DAY 🙂
     

  • I Survived the Move!

    Did I have a major anxiety attack??

    Boy did I ever!  Happened on Saturday when my now “old” apartment was full of boxes and chaos.

    Too much stress and too much chaos.  Amy crashed and burned.  Much thanks to “my Greg”, mom and daughter for being there to put ol’ Humpty Amy back together again!

    My muscles were feeling the good kind of sore yesterday.  So the functional fitness was a success!  Was careful with my knee (thanks to “my Greg”…again), even though it is sore, it is still together 😉  

    So needless to say, I am now living in chaos, but it is one I can handle over time, so we are all good.  I really miss running…

    But the best part is — Thursday!!! 

    Thursday. The day I see the specialist and my game plan will be on the table.  So so soooooooooooooooo happy!
      
    Next post will be the update.  Just wanted to let you all know I did survive, with only one meltdown 🙂

    So stay tuned – I will mobile blog after my appointment!

    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  • Summer, Moving and Specialist Appointment!!!

    OMG I am so excited!!

    I got the call today for my follow up appointment for my knee!  I go one week from today.

    I know that I am more than likely going to have to go under the knife, and I am good with that. Even if it does mean recovery time off the knee.

    That being said, no matter what I am told, I am going to follow every single instruction.  I’ll be a good girl and not go off and do things just because I “feel better”.  (Yes I wrote this down, so I can hold myself accountable!  LOL)

    What have I been up to?

    Well, I enjoyed some beach time last weekend.  Saturday we ended up heading to Hubbards Beach and ran into a very good friend.  Had a great time…even though the water was hella cold.  Too cold to swim in, that’s for sure!

    It’s the Atlantic into St. Margaret’s Bay.  

    Once you’re numb, then great, but it’s the “getting to numb” part that is the problem.

    On Sunday we ventured with the ladies of the family to Crystal Crescent Beach:

    Crystal Crescent BeachCrystal Crescent Beach – Halifax Metro – Three white-sand crescent beaches located at the mouth of Halifax Harbour. Boardwalks to the first two beaches, vault toilets. Trailhead for a hike to Pennant Point, 10 km (6 mi) which provides interesting birding and wildlife viewing. (This little blurb brought to you by the interweb….)





    We were there fairly early, so we were able to scoop up this sweet little crescent beach area and basically had it all to ourselves!  (Note: Having a very excited 2 year old niece who screeched with excitement helps to keep the beach clear).

     Since then I have been juggling work, errands and of course everyone’s favourite….PACKING AND MOVING. Needless to say I am a tad overwhelmed right now and have been procrastinating….admitting it out loud will make it real and enable me to not hide from it.  Stress and mental illness turns me into “Hibernation Amy”.  I just want to be alone and pretend it is all getting done.  NOT GOOD.

    So, with the help of my most awesome boyfriend (He will now be called “Greg” because I’ve decided I am the Dharma to his Greg….hahahahaha.  Seriously though, it’s true….) and my family ladies, we are kicking it into high gear.  I also booked a truck for Sunday.  IT IS ON.

    I was able to get some kitchen stuff moved and unpacked last night while enjoying the breeze from my kitchen window 🙂

    So, crossing all fingers and toes, I will be moved in on Sunday…..say some small prayers for me!

    This means my upcoming posts will be mobile.  I hope to get a “selfie” with my Specialist so I can blog it.  HE ROCKS!

    CrazyMama out!